Big Time Rush - Vengeance In Vegas-story 4
by treehatsrock
Summary: story 4 of 8. the 4th in the love series. on the run up to the wedding of the year, sheriden ends up with more pressing problems than just her vows to worry about. in a spiral of events that leads to everything getting out of control, has she still got the power in her to save everyone she cares about in BTR including herself? (one for carlos lovers)
1. Chapter 1

**this is the 4th story in my series, reading the other 3 first is a must, to understand what has gone on. this particular story contains ****_very_****sensitive material, and i would not recommend it to readers under 16. it also includes very bad language and lots of sexual reference.**

**as always make a mental note of who is telling the story at the start of each chapter or things will get confusing.**

**the story is based very loosly on big time rush. some names, places, times, dates have been changed to fit in with the running of things. sheriden lloyd, paisley prince, mackenzie davies and savannah davies are all fictional characters that i have invented, they are not based on any real life people! follow me on twitter sheridenlloyd for updates**

**paisleys story**  
**"**oh God, kendall look at me, I'm never gonna get back in my jeans... Ever" I moaned.

I stood in front of the mirror in our room just wearing my underwear and rubbing a hand over my massive pregnant belly.

"course you will pais, you only have a few weeks left then you will get back to normal" kendall said sleepily from his position in the bed.

"I better or I'm having surgery" I said inspecting yet another stretch mark that had appeared on me.

Kendall got out of bed and walked over to me "stop moaning pais" he said gently, tilting my chin upwards and kissing me on the lips.

"can't you say your sick today?" I asked giving him my best puppy dog eyes.

"no, I like doing these shows anyway they are funny... Come with me, Sheriden is going" he replied.

Kendall was off to film 'figure it out' which I knew he did enjoy, but I just wanted nothing more than to sit on the sofa and snuggle in to him.

"I don't think I have the energy... Besides all your stupid fans will rip in to me again... " I sighed.

ever since kendall had announced on TV that I was expecting his baby it was chaos for me.

The boys appeared on the Ellen Degeneres chat show promoting there last single.

When asked what the future held for the boys kendall decided to tell all about the pregnancy. Naturally it caused a huge stir and I was inundated with hate from all the btr fans.

they had labelled me as a rusher hater, saying I had trapped kendall. Doing it for publicity and getting my claws in to his money.

The worst ones were the little bitches that said I had ruined his life.

"well find the energy... Cmon pais... its not long now and you will be wishing the baby was back in there so you can get some peace and quiet" he said smiling.

"okay, but only if Sheriden is going, I'm not hanging around on my own waiting for you" I said in my stroppy voice.

kendall smiled "did you look at those names I wrote down?" He asked.

Baby names had become a slight issue with us. We couldn't agree on anything

"yeah I did... I'm not too sure on the weird ones kendall" I admitted to him.

"weird? They're not weird, just different pais... Better than Bruno" he laughed and rubbed my tummy.

Bruno was what I called the bump, it was better than 'it' but although Bruno was a boys name we had no idea of the sex of our baby.

We had no desire to and wanted to keep it a surprise for the end.

"leave Bruno alone... Are you going up with James today then?"

"yeah Logan is on today too, I don't know if Mackenzie will be there though" he said.

"oh if Logans going I will go, I've not seen him for ages. I spoke to kenz yesterday she is flat out at the salon so I know she won't be going on day trips out to watch you bunch get slimed"

"okay cool, I'm gonna grab a shower you get back in to bed for a bit and I'll wake you when its time to get ready baby" kendall said walking me back over to our bed.

I yawned at him in response, I hadn't been sleeping well and was waking up at the crack of dawn everyday.

I smiled at him and lay down in my sideways position.

I moved in to the town house with kendall after I had my first bleed during the pregnancy. I had had 8 in total, all resulting with trips to doctors or hospitals, nothing wrong had happened but after one scan at 20 weeks I was told my placenta was laying across my cervix, I've been having regular scans to see if it has moved up, if it doesn't I will have to have a Caesarian section as Brunos escape route will be blocked.

my last scan at 34 weeks showed that it had moved slightly so the docs reassured me that its looking hopeful that I should have a natural birth. I had another one booked in for two days which will be the final one at 38 weeks. So hopefully it will tell me that everything is running as it should be.

I dozed in and out of sleep. Kendall woke me up with breakfast, I then got washed and dressed and we drove down to bel air to travel down with James and Sheriden to the studio in which 'figure it out' was filmed.

Over the last few months Sheriden and I had become really really good friends.

she was due to marry James in 4 weeks time.

I enjoyed her company. She was really funny and had stuck up for me so much with all these hate campaigns against me. She was also labelled as a rusher hater, but for Sheriden it rang true. She had had her fair share of run ins with crazy fans and just doesn't bother to curb her mouth anymore.

She rejoined twitter and has fun tweeting fun facts about what her and James had been up to that will no doubt annoy the hell out of delusional hard core James fans that think one day he will be theirs.

She also pissed of the Carlos fans by appearing in some of his and his brothers youtube videos.

Sheriden had her own show on TV at the moment. It was a Saturday night favourite and was in to the semi finals of who was going to win the modelling contracts, there were six up for grabs, fashion, editorial, character, glamour, commercial and photographic.

It was a good spin on the usual modelling shows as no one knew who was going to get voted in to which category at the end. The controversial part of sheridens show was of course the promotion of glamour modelling.

Sheriden held no shame and did a very artsy magazine shoot with her boobs out on display to show what ever her models would do she would also gladly do to support them.

James was proud of her, he was besotted with Sheriden. It broke my heart to know they would never have children together.

The four of us would spend a lot of time together hanging out. I loved it as it resembled what I thought a family should be like and I loved sharing my pregnancy with Sheriden and James.  
They both made a fuss over me. It sometimes got a bit too much but I let them get on with it.

"Sheriden please hurry up, we are gonna be late" James called out as he opened the door to let kendall and I in

"hey bro, wassup" kendall said to James as we walked in to the amazing entrance of the bel air mansion

James gave me a kiss on the cheek and gave my belly a rub "hey guys... Sheriden is taking ages to get her ass in gear. I swear she does it on purpose" he chuckled as we walked in to the large kitchen.

I sat on a chair at the kitchen table. Sheriden came down after a few minutes.

"hey pais... You look warm, all okay?" She said as she got a glass of water and passed it to me.

"I am a little hot, this LA heat is a killer" I said blowing a piece of hair from my face.

"well I hope your still taking it easy pais... I didn't think you were coming today?" She asked.

"she wants to see her heart throb logie bear" kendall butted in smiling.

I smiled back. It was true I currently had a funny crush on Logan after having some odd dreams about him, but I put it down to hormones.

"I think Logan is awesome, I always have, just because he invades my dreams at night kendall is not my fault" I blushed.

"oh pais... Logan isn't filming today. He called James at stupid o'clock this morning to say he wouldn't make it. Mackenzie had a bad one last night and she was admitted to hospital... She is fine but he won't leave her" Sheriden said.

"really? Her asthma is bad lately, that's the third attack she has had this month" I replied.

"its the heat" James said "she isn't used to the temps here compared to Portland, I dunno what Logans going to do when they figure that out" he added.

I slouched in my seat, I wish I had stayed at home, despite my child like crush I had on Logan I regarded him as one of my best friends, and was really looking forward to catching up with him.

"he will follow her where ever she goes, he is so smitten its sickening" kendall carried on from James conversation.

"its not sickening its adorable" Sheriden said.

"you only find it adorable because you have your own little sick puppy right here" kendall said giving James a pretend slap round the face.

"pais are you okay?" James said noticing me wiping tears away.

Damn these hormones I would cry at anything these days it was ridiculous.

"I'm fine I just really wanted to see Logan today, it was the only reason I came out" I blubbed.

"paisley cmon" kendall said as he pulled the chair out next to me and gave me a reassuring hug as he sat down

"God I just want this baby out, I'm so fed up" I sobbed in to his shoulder.

Kendall rubbed my back and said some stupid stuff in my ear til I smiled.  
Then he kissed me on the cheek.

"paisley I tell you what, we will go and see kenz and Logan then we can go and do some last minute baby shopping and let the boys do there own thing getting gunked on their silly show."

"Really?... Thanks Sheriden, that's really kind"

James rolled his eyes as he should of left a while ago but because of Sheriden he didn't and now she had gone and changed her mind altogether.

I looked at James to say sorry.

kendall got up and kissed me on the head.

"are you going to be okay with her...she is very emotional lately" kendall said to Sheriden.

"sure we will be fine" she said

Kendall was then hurried out by James in to his truck leaving Sheriden and I alone.

"shall we call and announce our arrival our just show up" Sheriden said

"just show up. I really want to see him... I'm odd right?" I confessed.

Sheriden laughed "well its not as odd as when you slapped kendall round the face after he brought you back cheese and onion chips instead of the cheese and chive you asked him to get" she chuckled at the memory of one of my many pregnancy melt downs.

"oh God I'm a nightmare aren't I?" I said shaking my head.

"pais your perfect... You're having a baby not a midlife crisis... Its normal. So let's go and see our best pal logie" she said smiling.

I smiled and we walked out to her car.

As I waddled through the hospital Sheriden asked at reception as to Mackenzies whereabouts. we then made or way up to the ward.

Mackenzie was on an open ward shared with 5 other patients. It must of Been sometime since Sheriden had been on a normal hospital setting like this instead of the private health care she was used to as her face looked somewhat confused.

She kept her sunglasses on as a way to disguise herself from the normal people. Sheriden walked in to Mackenzies ward and whispered in to Logans ear before I had even made my way through the double door entrance.

Logan walked out to See me, giving me a hug and a kiss and reducing me to tears.

"your a silly sod pais... Come on let's get a drink" he said and walked me back out the way I had just waddled in by, leaving Sheriden and Mackenzie to chat.

The cafeteria in the hospital was fairly busy but Logan found us a quiet spot to sit down. He brought me over a bottle of water then sat on the bench seat next to me and slung an arm around me.

"what's all these tears about then Reno?" He said.

"I just miss you logues... I'm sorry I'm just fed up really... I'm being selfish. Is Mackenzie okay" I replied sucking back the tears.

"its good that you miss me, I'm sorry I've not been about, things have been a bit mad lately, but yeah kenz is okay, she is on a nebuliser at the moment. Her air ways aren't doing what they should but she will be fine..." He said. " what about you, how's Bruno coming along?"

I smiled, Logan was the only one that called Bruno, Bruno.  
"we are fine, only have two weeks left, got my last scan day after tomorrow.. I'm so tired and fed up, I just really wanted to see you because you remind me of fun and being stupid, not being fat and boring not being able to do anything" I confessed.

Logan gave me his cheeky grin that I got to know so well when we played a load of pranks on kendall on the tour bus "pais are you sure its got nothing to do with the dreams of me going down on you" Logan chuckled.

I went bright red.  
"fucks sake. Kendall can't keep anything sacred can he? I didn't dream you went down on me, I dreamt you kissed me... A few times" I laughed.

"well can't blame you to be honest, its not much of a competition between me and kendall" he said giving me a little nudge in the arm.

Logan and I had a good catch up in the end. Despite what James had said both him and Mackenzie were aware that it was that heat and humidity triggering off her asthma attacks, she was trying to manage it best she could but because her medication had changed so much lately it was kind of hit and miss.  
Logan assured me that neither him or Mackenzie had any desire to leave LA anytime soon.

I only said a brief hello to Mackenzie when we returned to her ward. She looked even more tired than I felt, and she looked fed up that Logan had just dumped her with Sheriden.

Sheriden took me out shopping, I had far too many items that one baby would ever need already in the nursery but Sheriden loved to buy things and I didn't want to take that away from her so I just let her get gooey over the little outfits and cute bedding.

"pais look at this" she said beaming at a tiny pair of shoes in the department store we had been in for half hour.

I laughed, they were tiny little baby converse sneakers.  
"awww kendall will love them on Bruno" I said.

"I so hope if its a boy it won't get stuck with that name paisley" she said giving me a serious look

"i don't think kendall would allow for such a boring name, he seems hell bent on calling Bruno something weird. He had Suzuki written down on his top ten ... Suzuki, Sheriden." I said shaking my head.

"well clearly kendall has lost his mind, isn't that a bike or something" Sheriden said as she rifled through more baby clothes.

"yeah its a bike, its a car but its also Japanese, I think a half Italian baby can do with out a Japanese name thrown in to the mix" I laughed.

"plus Schmidt is German... Suzuki Schmidt, it does have a ring to it, but technically it... Bruno ...will be quarter Italian pais, your mum is white American" Sheriden clarified.

"true, but I don't think Suzuki is the best name out there, he loves all these odd ones, but I like the normal plain ones" I sighed and shook my head at a garish green baby out fit Sheriden had picked out. She put it back on the rail.

"well you best get thinking because your fit to burst pai... What the fuck are you doing?" Sheriden shouted at a couple of girls that had been following us from a far through the shop, but one had just pulled her phone out trying to get a picture of us.

"Sheri leave them alone" I said pulling her by the hand and down towards the stairs.

she rolled her eyes at the two little bitches that now stuck their middle fingers up at us.

"fucking rushers!... can I get these?" She asked holding the baby converse sneakers in her hand still.

I smiled "no one can have enough shoes right?... Not even babies" I chuckled.

"that's my girl" Sheriden giggled.

We stopped at a juice bar before we went back to sheridens car.  
I noticed the two girls that Sheriden had sworn at in the department store were still following us.

I picked up my juice and waited for Sheriden, but just as she turned around with her drink in hand the girl who had tried to get the picture of us barged right in to me knocking my drink from my hand spilling it all over me and on the floor but Sheriden slipped and went flying on her backside.

The girl realising what she had done then ran off.

"oh no, Sheri are you okay? Fuck have you broken anything" I panicked.

"I'm fine... I'm fine" she said as one of the juice bar staff helped her to her feet.

Sheriden had suffered a broken back in a skiing accident a few years ago, her spine was put back together with pins along the base , but she had also been diagnosed with osteoporosis which basically meant her bones break easily.  
Because sheridens spine was so damaged already with the pins, it was feared that her spinal injury would eventually crumble the bones if not treated with care on her part. It was because of this that her and James couldn't have a baby. As the pressure it would put on her body and back could potentially send her in to a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

"are you okay?" She said checking me over.

"I'm fine just... Stained" I said looking down at my once pretty white maternity dress that could also serve a family of four as a tent.

"James is going to go fucking nuts when he hears about this" she said as she linked my arm and we made our way down to the parking lot to the safety of sheridens Mercedes.

Once back at sheridens bel air mansion and the boys had returned after filming Sheriden allowed for them to tell there story of the day in which kendall had actually got through to the next round of the kids game show and would be returning to finish his filming tomorrow, but James had already been sent down the slide of slime.  
They both seemed really happy until Sheriden told them about our day.

"this little fucker just barged in to her... She is 8 months pregnant for fuck sake. why would that cross any ones mind to knock in to a pregnant girl" Sheriden said.

"shit really? Are you okay pais?" Kendall said rubbing my belly.

"I'm fine but the drink I had got knocked over and Sheriden slipped and fell..." I carried the story on but James interrupted me.

"what... You fell, fuck Sheriden are you okay?" James said .

"I'm fine, luckily I landed on my hand more than my ass" she said.

"Jesus what is the matter with these people? That's it... That's fucking it" James shouted.

I had seen James angry before but I had never seen this, this was disbelief and hatred that now shone in his eyes.

"James no one got hurt, its just the actions of one silly teenage girl" I said.

"no paisley this is getting fucking ridiculous now, do you know Sheri gets death threats along with her hate mail, she gets things chucked at her, gets called names in the street, gets constantly bullied on twitter and now they are physically hurting her... I've had enough... " he ranted.

"James calm down honey" Sheriden said.

"I'm fucked off with it, hearing it, reading it, seeing it... Do they think we find it funny... I don't find it funny" James finished.

"once the wedding has been and the baby has arrived they will get used to it. Girls don't like to imagine their heart throbs with other women James... Its part of the job of being with you guys" I said.

"unless your Mackenzie ... mackogan" Sheriden laughed at the nick name the rushers had placed on Logan and Mackenzie as a couple.

Although no one on camp mackogan had ever officially said they were dating each other it was well known now that they were.  
But the btr fans loved her, mainly because it gave them all hope that normal girls were regarded as date-able but mostly because she was friendly, her hair salon REDCHERRIES was open to the norms of the general public not the rich and famous, which made her an easy porthole in to the world of btr for a lot of fans.

"yeah its because she is friendly though Sheriden, if you toned it down a bit then maybe they wouldn't make you such a target" kendall said.

Our debate in to the btr fans hatred went on in to the night. Sheriden and I had made plans to meet up tomorrow to have a good look at baby names while kendall filmed his hopeful win on 'figure it out'

Once at home I lay in bed with kendall, I again found it hard to sleep.  
"baby do you wanna fuck" I said to kendall as he lay next to me with his eyes shut. A smile crept on his face.

"no... Shush" he said still smiling.

"I'm desperate for you though baby, we haven't had sex in ages" I moaned.

kendall opened his eyes " pais, I love you, but it freaks me out with the placenta thing in the wrong place, I don't want to hurt anything in there" he whispered and kissed me.

"I doubt very much that your cock can reach that far up kendall" I laughed.

"once baby is here I will fuck your brains out pais... I promise, my balls are the size of fucking watermelons, I'm gagging for you" he said closing his eyes again.

"your so romantic kendall" I giggled.

"I know, I'm a catch huh" he smiled at me with closed eyes.

I laughed and snuggled myself in to him as best I could, kendall rubbed my belly until he fell asleep, I spent hours staring at the ceiling until sleep finally took me.

The next morning when I woke up I had severe back ache. I had a bath which eased it I wondered if this is what Sheriden felt like every day with her back.  
I made a mental note to feel more sympathy for her next time I saw her wince in pain.

Kendall dropped me off at sheridens then him and James set off to finish filming. James still had to be present to film the end of the show.

Sheriden and I sat in one of her amazing reception rooms, it was gorgeous. The furniture was unreal. Sheridens old mansion was to die for, and James' old bungalow was so modern and beautifully set out, but mix them up together in this bel air madness, and the result was breathtaking.

I was in a lot of pain with my back, I kept shifting from position to try and get comfy.

Sheriden did notice.  
"pais sit in that chair, the back is higher" she said.

I nodded and tried the high back chair but it wasnt helping.

I tried my best to ignore it and carried on with the task at hand of baby names.

"Hayden?" Sheriden said with her nose in one of the baby name books. "could be a boy or a girls name" she added.

"no I used to go to school with a Hayden... She was a bitch" I replied.

"okay... Erm... Nadia..." She suggested.

"I quite like Nadine... But quite like isn't good enough is it" I sighed "what do you think of daisy? Or Rhys?" I asked.

"daisy... Its cute" she replied smiling.

"it is isn't it? Kendall doesn't like it" I sighed again.

"Osbert?" Sheriden said laughing, "who would call their baby Osbert, seriously... That can't be a real name.

"ow..." I moaned rubbing my tummy.

"tell you what I'll make us a hot drink and we can have a time out" Sheriden said getting up.

"okay great... Thank you Sheri... Do me a favour and don't tell kendall about Osbert... He will probably love it" I laughed.

Sheriden smiled at me as she walked out to the kitchen.

Sheriden had adjusted well to learning of my pregnancy, she liked the thought of the little Bruno bump, but kendall had shared with me that she was scared stiff of her reaction of seeing kendall with an actual baby in his arms.  
It was a weird situation for all four of us to get along so well when Sheriden and kendall used to date, and made a baby once apon a time. Sheriden lost the baby in a car accident.

Both her and kendall had found it very hard to cope with what had happened, but now that Sheriden couldn't have children it made watching my pregnancy a lot harder for her.

She liked to distance herself when I seemed in pain, hence her quick exit to the kitchen to make drinks.

kendall still adored Sheriden and had taken a lot of time to help her through this tricky time. They would go off and have little chats, Sheriden would come back looking like she had cried a river and would give me a hug.

I didn't mind. I knew it was about the babies and not about them still having a thing for each other. Besides I think I adored Sheriden just as much as kendall did.  
She is lovely.

My tummy cramped like anything, I had been getting a few Braxton Hicks the last few weeks but this felt odd.

I stood up and water gushed out from me all on to sheridens wooden floor.

"ooh my" I said as another cramp came.

Sheriden walked in with tea and looked at me then at the floor.

"your fucking kidding me" she said with eyes filled with fear.


	2. Chapter 2

**SHERIDENS STORY**

"your fucking kidding me" I gasped as I walked in to my lounge to find paisley stood in a puddle of water.

"oh my God" paisley groaned as she held her tummy.

"shit!... Is this it pais?" I asked grabbing my phone from the ornate coffee table.

Paisley nodded "I think so" she said.

I phoned kendalls number, it was switched off.  
"shit he's filming..." I mumbled to myself then tried James' number it went to voice mail.

"James its me" my voice shook " get kendall back here... Paisley is in labour... Love you ... Bye" I said then hung up.

I looked at paisley she looked more scared than me, probably because she knew I was going to be terrible at helping her deal with this on my own.

"its okay pais, I will look after you until help gets here... I know I'm useless but I won't let you down, I promise.

"your not useless Sheri" she said before crying out in pain with her next contraction.

I dialled 911

the operator answered and I requested an ambulance. Paisley looked up at me like this wasn't happening.

"what is the nature of the emergency?" The operator asked me after I gave the address details.

"my friend its having a baby, her contractions have started but she may have placenta previa?"

"okay try not to panic, first stages of labour can last hours, an ambulance is on its way"

I thanked the operator and hung up.

"how you doing pais" I said giving her back a rub.

"okay I think... Fucking hurts" she said with a small smile.

"alright... Its all happening a bit quicker than we would like huh" I laughed.

Paisley nodded and grabbed my hand as she battled against her next contraction.

"Sheriden there not very far apart now, I'm meant to be having my scan tomorrow, what if it hasn't moved out the way, the baby can't out... Ooohh here's another one." She said "please get kendall here"

"yeah I'm on it" I tried calling both boys again I left another message on James phone.

"Sheriden I don't think I can wait for that ambulance, we need to go now" paisley said looking panicked.

"paisley listen to me, everything is going to be fine okay, just relax, try and drink the tea..." I soothed giving her back another rub "oh I have an idea" I added and then ran out to the kitchen and got my tens machine from my first aid cupboard.

"what is that?" Paisley asked when I got back in to the lounge.

"tens machine, it will help your pain" I said lifting her top up and sticking the pads all along her back.

"right... now sit back and relax and we will wait for the ambulance" I said.

She smiled at me. I didn't have a clue what I was doing but if I looked like everything was in control then it would keep her calm.

Paisley sat for a few minutes, still trying to find comfort in the few minutes that she rested from each contraction.

My phone rang, it was kendall

"Sheriden I'm on my way" he said down the phone.

"good, we are waiting for an ambulance, but its been about twenty minutes now, I'm not sure how much longer she can last like this"

"alright... Okay... Can you drive her yourself to the hospital?" Kendall asked.

Paisley let out a loud groan in the back ground.

"Sheriden its she doing okay?" kendall added.

"she is okay... Kendall I'm being honest, I don't think Bruno is wanting to wait that long through the traffic, and my car is so small. I would rather wait for the ambulance"

"okay can I talk to her" he asked.

"yeah sure" i replied and passed the phone over to paisley.

Kendalls words that he spoke to her must of worked because she was at least smiling now.

I called the operator again on my home phone to see if there was any danger of the ambulance actually turning up, they just said it was on route to us.

I was so fidgety. I was scared stiff if anything went wrong with the baby whilst I was the sole carer of paisley.

"Sheriden!" Paisley called out.

"I'm feeling like I need to push... I can't push... Ooh god my baby is going to die" she said then started crying.

I took the phone off her "I'll call you back, she will be fine don't worry" I said then hung up on kendall.

"pais just calm down okay, the baby is going to be fine. Come on breathe with me." I repeated as she contracted again.  
"try not to push, just breathe it out pais, concentrate on your breathing and not the contraction."

"I'm so sorry about this" paisley said out of breath

"why are you sorry?" I smiled.

"kendall had it all planned out on how it was gonna be when you met the baby... This is wrong...he is gonna be angry at me" she said then howled as another contraction took over.

"paisley your talking nonsense...and besides I'm not meeting this baby yet...we will make it to the hospital I promise" I replied.

Paisley just nodded.

"Sheriden I don't think the tens thing is working... It still hurts so much" she said rubbing a hand over her face.

"its not the best is it, I've only used it a couple of times... here I will take it off" I said taking the sticky pads off of her.

Paisley cried out with her labour pains, I took the hair band from my own pony tail and plaited paisleys long black hair and tied it up for her, "that should cool you down a bit" I soothed

I noticed the blue reflection from the ambulance lights enter the room as the ambulance drove in to my drive way.

"thank God! Pais the ambulance is here, I'll let them in" I said dashing out to the entrance hall.

I opened the door to two paramedics.

"she is just through here, she was due to have a scan tomorrow to see if the placenta had moved out the way" I said as we walked in to the room paisley was in.

"hello paisley... How we doing there?" Paisley just nodded at the paramedic as a form of saying hi as she had yet another contraction.  
"my name is rob, and this is Aimee" the paramedic said introducing himself.

"Paisley I'm gonna have to have a look to see how things are going on down there, can you try laying down in a comfy position" rob said.

Aimee had handed paisley the gas and air, the relief it gave her showed instantly on her face. Paisley laid down on my couch while rob had a look how the situation was for paisley down below.

"okay paisley...I've got good news and bad news" rob said with a smile as he pulled paisley long skirt back down.

I walked over and held paisleys hand as she sat up looking scared stiff.

"good news is, the babys head is engaged, I can see it, so there is no need to worry about the placenta anymore, and the bad news is I'm not sure if baby is going to wait until we reach the hospital, so we will try and get there as quick as we can okay" rob said smiling.

I squeezed paisleys hand.

They then got her in a wheel chair once her latest contraction had passed and got her in to the ambulance.

I phoned kendall to say we were on our way to the hospital... And to hurry the fuck up before he missed the birth of his first born.

"you won't leave me on my own will you Sheriden?" Paisley said as she sucked the gas and air in like it was going out of fashion.

"no... Course I won't. Kendall will be there soon too" I said.

Paisley made it to the hospital, she was taken straight to the delivery room.

She was deliriously high on the gas and air, she was amusing me with her funny chit chat.

"I've been here before Sheriden... I've done all this before, its like I'm reliving my life... I've defiantly been here before" she rambled on.

I smiled at her "high as a fucking kite, you are" I laughed.

She giggled back at me.

she held her hand out for me to take as another contraction came. The midwife that was in the room was gloved and prepped ready to go. Just as I prayed kendall would soon be here he walked in the room.

"pais... Thank God... I made it" he smiled.

Paisley had a look of such relief on her face which soon turned to pain as she pushed on another contraction.

I tried to let go of her hand but she would let me go  
"please stay" she said panting.

I looked at her, then at kendall.  
"I'm sorry pais... I will be just outside okay... Good luck" I said giving her a kiss on the forehead and giving kendalls hand a squeeze which he squeezed back as I walked past him and out the delivery room door.

James was out side waiting. I buried myself in to his chest as he took me in his strong arms.

"that was close" I said to him smiling.

He chuckled " not sure if I will still have a drivers licence after today, think I ran 4 red lights"

I smiled at him.

"this is it then Sheri" James said "you ready?" He asked.

I shook my head "I think its gonna be weird but I can't wait to meet it... Bruno" I laughed.

"what about you, your gonna get broody like you do with mia" I laughed nervously, scared that having a baby so close in our lives now will make James realise that he is making a mistake by marrying me and deciding to not have kids.

James saw the worry in my eyes, and heard the nervousness in my laugh.  
"all I need is you... I love you" he replied.

We sat outside the delivery room for ages, I panicked that things had gone wrong but the midwife soon left the room, I looked at James.

"did you hear a baby cry?" He said in a whisper.

"no..." I replied.

We sat in silence for a few minutes until the door opened and kendall walked out.

"you guys wanna be the first to meet baby Schmidt" he smiled.

I didn't say anything but James gently pulled me up and walked in to the room taking me with him.

Paisley look exhausted, she lay in her bed with her tiny baby cradled in her arms.

Kendall then picked up the baby with nervous arms and held it out for me to take.  
I sat in the chair next to paisleys bed, not trusting my legs to not fail me with such a precious tiny being to hold.

Kendall passed the baby to me.

A mop of jet black hair was the first thing to catch my attention.

I looked up at James, he was beaming.

"I would like you guys to meet Ophelia rose Schmidt" paisley said to James and I.

"Ophelia... Like Shakespeare?" James asked sitting on the arm of the chair I sat on and took in the gorgeousness of his best friends new baby girl.

"yeah... Hamlet, pais has a thing for Shakespeare, she used to think her and Ophelia were pretty similar in a depressing way" he said rolling his eyes.

"but baby Ophelia is going to change everything about my crappy past" paisley smiled.

"its a beautiful name paisley... She is beautiful" I stared at baby Ophelia.

"can I take a picture?" James asked holding his phone in his hand.

"yeah course, I'll take it" kendall said taking the phone, and James slung an arm around me as we posed for our picture"

"she definitely wouldn't of suited Bruno pais" I laughed.

"can I hold her" James said.

I passed Ophelia back to kendall and got out of the chair, I think I found it more upsetting to see James with a baby than kendall

He looked really natural with children, my heart ached away just watching him.

"you feeling okay now paisley? That was a bit scary for a bit back there huh" I said still looking at James.

"yeah I'm a lot better now... Thank you, for everything, you were amazing" she said.

I didn't feel amazing, I felt... Normal, I didn't feel much apart from the heart ache of seeing James hold the baby. I was happy with that feeling. I expected a lot worse, I could cope with this

I noticed kendall looking at paisley, they were giving each other this unspoken chat, like oh my God that's our baby.

"James come on, let's leave this little family to it now." I said giving kendall a nudge to take the baby from him.

Kendall took Ophelia and sat in the chair holding her.

I looked at him for what seemed like several minutes but I only felt excitement for him. My response to all these new sights and feelings really pleased me. It was no where near as bad as I thought it would be.

"take care pais... I'll be working you hard soon in that studio" he mocked

"I actually can't wait" she replied.

James gave kendall a pat on the shoulder, kendall looked up from his beautiful black haired daughter and smiled.

once back home and tidied up from the mornings events I sat with James in our beautiful garden.

"so how are you feeling about all this baby stuff... You looked pretty at home holding the baby today" I asked James as he sat tanning his body on the lounger next to me.

"it was nice, pais is gonna be a great mom, kendall looked over the moon didn't he?" James replied.

"James... How did it make you feel, don't hide behind paisley and kendall" I said.

James sat up and faced me, he used his hand as a sun shade so he could see me better  
"Sheriden I'm fine, it was nice to be uncle James, but I honestly don't feel like your thinking I'm feeling. I've excepted we aren't having children. I'm being honest baby. We have talked about this so much that the reality of a baby isn't that different to how I imagined it... If you've changed your mind somewhere between Christmas and now then you need to be honest" he said.

"James I've not changed my mind. I just worry about you... I love you" I replied.

"I love you too, let's just take each day as it comes okay, don't just think about shit Sheri, I want you to tell me what's going on in that head... Promise me" he said looking me in the eye.

"I promise " I said.

"so semi finals this weekend... " James said about my TV show.

"I know, I can't believe how quick its gone, I'm excited though. I don't know what to wear to the final after party" I said in two minds of the four possible designer outfits I had wittled it down to.

"go with the blue one" James said.

"you think? ... It is nice" I said just a James' mobile rang.

"hello" he answered with.

"yeah she is amazing. Sheriden had a close encounter... Haha... Yeah its madness... What time? ...I'm not sure bro... Yeah I know its been a while... How is she doing now?... That's good though... Yeah hopefully man... Okay see you soon... Take care buddy.. Bye" James hung up.

"who was that " I asked.

"Logan, paisley text him and said she is going home later if she gets the all clear and asked if Logan and Mackenzie wanted to pop down to see the baby tomorrow, Mackenzie is back home with logan. he was asking if we wanted to meet them down there, he asked if I could tell Carlos" James finished.

"James stop being the go between for him and Carlos... Carlos is a complete tit with what he does over Mackenzie... I honestly don't know why Logan bothers" I sighed remembering all the disgusting things Carlos says to Mackenzie.

"I'm not a go between I just appreciate that its difficult for them to get along, I don't think Carlos will ever forgive her though" James said.

"did you want to phone him?" James asked me.

"not really... I'm not really talking to him from his last outburst" I explained.

the last time all the btr boys and girlfriends had been in the same room was for Logans birthday last month.  
All was going well until Carlos noticed Mackenzie had gotten a new tattoo on her back, which she proudly showed off in a backless dress and her very long dark red hair swept to one side. The tattoo was an inscription which read along her spine in beautiful swirly writing "its not who you are to the world,its who your are to me"

Carlos saw this as a fantastic opportunity to ridicule her once again, he asked her who the tattoo was about, obviously it was Logan, she proudly said as much to him. he then rambled on about who Mackenzie was to him and how the world should know that she cheated on him.  
He said she should get a more realistic tattoo, maybe one on her forehead saying 'cock tease' .  
Having heard all this shit I then butted in to have yet another go at Carlos' attitude but he told me to fuck off and said 'what is this? Sluts convention?'

When I asked him why he was now having a go at me he said that I'm just as bad at stringing men along. He then called Mackenzie a whore and stomped off home.

He was so childish about it all. I'm not even convinced that he was all that in love with Mackenzie, she appears incredibly boring to me, but she keeps Logan busy, he runs after her like a little lap dog.

"please Sheri" James said with his big puppy eyes.

"tell me where we are going on honey moon and I will phone Carlos" I said.

James got up from his lounger and walked the little distance to where I sat and pulled me off my seat, sat on it him self then pulled me down on to his lap.  
"I will tell you where you are going" he said running his hand along the side of my chest.

I smiled in anticipation.

"I will be taking you to seventh heaven and back at least 4 times a day" he laughed.

I gave him a pretend slap for leading me on.  
"James... Stop being so wicked" I laughed watching his eyes glint at me.

"phone him for me... You need to patch things up... He is a complete idiot but he is still your Carlos under it all" he said giving me a kiss.

"fine... I will call him" I said with pretend angry eyes and took his phone from his hand that wasnt caressing my body.

I dialled and it rang.

"hi, Sheriden...how's you?" Carlos picked up to.

"hey Los, yeah I'm good... How are you? " I asked

"not too bad, I've been meaning to call Sheriden, I'm sorry about what I said at Logans birthday... I'm going to sort my self out from now on, I promise, she hurt me Sheriden... And pissed me off with that std... Any way I'm sorry" he said, he actually sounded like he meant it.

"Los its fine, but... Well to be honest its getting to the point now that no one wants to invite you out if Logans and Mackenzie are there... Its better to just keep your mouth shut... Honestly Los" I said.

"yeah I know ..." He replied softly.

"well listen, kendall is a daddy..." I said the words without really listening to them... It sounded like a very odd sentence.

"what... She has had it?" Carlos screamed down the phone.

"yeah, a baby girl, Ophelia her name is, she is beautiful. We are hoping to all go round to theirs tomorrow if you wanna join...Mackenzie will be there... Los I'm not being funny but if you ruin such a special occasion because of some remark you make to kenz then its going to piss a lot of people off"

"Sheriden I wouldn't do that...what time?" He asked.

"I'm not sure hang on" I said to Carlos.

"James what time?" I asked.

"logues said around lunch" James replied.

"did you hear that? About lunch time Los"

" okay I will see you there" Carlos replied.

We said our goodbyes and hung up.

I looked at James he gave me his raised eye brow look... I loved that look

"you gonna give me a preview of seventh heaven then maslow?" I said with a raised eyebrow of my own.

James smiled at me "gladly " he replied


	3. Chapter 3

Mackenzie story

"did you want this?" My sister savannah asked holding a glossy magazine in her hand.

"no, I've read it cover to cover, just chuck it thanks sav' " I replied as I packed the last of my belongings in to my over night bag.

I had been given the all clear to go home from hospital. My sister had been staying with me to celebrate her 18th birthday but we didn't get to celebrate anything because of my stupid asthma.

Logan walked in to my ward "morning sav'... Good morning beautiful" he said to me as he gave me a kiss.

My sister smiled at Logan as she now had her head in my magazine reading something that had caught her eye.  
"morning logues... I'm allowed home, yay go me" I mocked.

"that's cool, I have exciting news too... Paisley has had her baby today" he beamed.  
Logan loved paisley, they were best friends really. Bizarrely enough seeing as I was once paisleys best friend I think I came in third place now up against Logan and Sheriden.

"oh my god, what did she have?" I screamed.

"a little girl, Ophelia rose, and she weighed in at 6lb on the dot" Logan said matter of factly.

"that's an odd name, I thought she was dead against the weird ones" savannah said.

Logan shrugged "I like it" he responded "she has invited us down tomorrow to meet her, I think James and Sheriden are going... Sav' your welcome to come down too, pais will be pleased to see you" he added.

"sounds great huh sav?, I promise we will do something fun after seeing as your birthday was such a washout" I said to my sister.

"I desperately need you to sort my extensions out kenz, so I think that's all tomorrow night will hold for us" she said now playing with some of her hair.

"you need to take a break from them sav' you will get bald patches" I moaned.

"you girls and your hair!" Logan said, "are you good to go?" Logan asked grabbing my bag.

"yeah I think so" I replied

"good... Savannah I'm going to steal Kenzie away from you, she is staying with me until I know she is completely better, your welcome to stay too if you want" Logan said out of the blue.

savannah made a funny face, "no I will stay at the flat... I've had enough of hearing you two screw" she said bluntly.

"savannah!" I moaned.

"what? I never get any sleep when Logan stays at yours... Besides, I know your pretty much living with him at his house" she said smugly.

Logan looked at me and smirked.

"did you tell her?" I snapped at Logan.

"no he didn't tell me, but last time I left to fly home I washed up the dishes I used at yours and the exact same things were still on the drainer waiting for me when I returned to your apartment two weeks later... Plus you always have the water switched off" she smiled "I won't tell mom if you tint my eye lashes tomorrow as well doing my extensions".

"blackmailed by my own sister... Nice. Fine I will do your hair and eyelashes" I agreed and we left the hospital.

The following day, Logan picked savannah up from my flat and we all drove down to meet paisleys new baby.  
As we pulled in to the drive way I noticed Carlos' new car sat there.

Logan saw my shoulders slump at the sight of it. He rubbed my leg "the more he sees us the better kenz" he said.

"kenz I wish I had of been there on Logans birthday, I would of told him where to stick it for you, I don't give a fuck what that prick thinks of me

"no just ignore it savannah, honestly its not worth the arguement" Logan said.

paisley answered the door to us.

"hey guys... Hi savannah, how are you I've not seen you for ages" she said giving all three of us hugs.

"she's fine...where is the baby pais, I'm so excited." I said.

paisley smiled "she is asleep on kendall at the moment.

We walked in and all layed eyes on kendall who was spread out on one of his leather sofas with a tiny pink bundle on top of him.

"oh my God guys, look at her" I said as I sat next to kendall.

"do you want to hold her?" Kendall said.

"aww she is asleep though" I said.

"its okay she is zonked," kendall replied sitting up and handing the baby over to me.

Carlos walked out of the kitchen with a soda.  
"hey" he said quietly to us, only Logan replied to him.

kendall was still cooing over his daughter as she lay in my arms. she was beautiful, a massive tuft of jet black hair on her head, a gorgeous completely round face.

"how was she for you last night? Bit of a shock to the system was it?" I asked him.

"I hardly slept, not really because she was awake, but just ... I dunno, just watching her, she is amazing... Look at her little hands" he said sticking a finger in to the Babys palm.

"how did you come up with Ophelia?" Carlos asked as he watched us.

"the midwife said we were mushy like Romeo and Juliet, pais said hopefully not as tragic, then she came up with Ophelia, from hamlet. She is a Shakespeare buff. If I had a dollar for every time she made me watch 10 things I hate about you I could retire now" kendall replied.

I smiled at paisley as she also stood and watched me snuggle with her baby girl "I have a feeling that's more to do with heath ledger than pais liking her Shakespeare" I said chuckling.

"true" paisley replied.

"pais sit down" kendall said.

"no, honestly its more comfy to stand, feels like my insides might fall out" she laughed.

Carlos then sat on the other side of me to look at the baby, he smiled at me.  
"she is beautiful" he said

the door knocked, Logan who was stood next to it opened it up, Sheriden and James came in with a massive bouquet of flowers and a bag of goodies for the baby.

"do I have to join a queue to get a hold of Ophelia" Sheriden said with a smile.

"no course not" I stood up and passed the baby to Sheriden.  
"do you want a drink guys?" Paisley asked.

"I'll do it pais" I said as I walked out to the kitchen, Logan followed me out.

"see... That was good, he sat next to you at least" Logan said as he got a bunch of soda cans out the fridge.

" I don't trust him babe, last time I thought he was being nice he chucked me in a swimming pool" I said.

"I think sheridens had a word with him that has finally sunk in, go easy on him kenz, if I lost you to him then I would be pissed off too." He said cornering me in his arms up against the kitchen counter.

"you knew me so much better than he ever did back then logues, I don't get why he appears so heart broken about it all" I replied.

"because he is Carlos, he wears his heart on his sleeve, and his girlfriend and his best friend went behind his back and screwed him over... Normal people don't take too kindly to that, let alone people with the mental age of 12" Logan said and kissed me.

I kissed him back before getting the giggles.

A loud cough came from near the kitchen door.

Logan and I turned to look at Carlos who was stood there.

"I have been acting like a 12 year old... I'm sorry kenz. I hope you can forgive me for all the crap" he said.

I looked at Carlos not really knowing what to say.

"its okay, its going to take a while to prove that I mean it" he said.

"that's great man... Thanks, it means a lot" Logan said slinging an arm over me.

"Everything okay in here" kendall said popping his head in the door.

"yeah its all great bro" Carlos said.

"cool... cmon then we have things to talk about" kendall said ushering us back out to the living room.

Sheriden was sat with James, she still had the baby in her arms, paisley still remained standing but leaned on the back of the sofa. My sister Sat on the sofa opposite, Logan then sat next to her and I sat on his lap. Carlos stayed standing.

Kendall walked over to paisley and put his arm around her waist.

"Ophelia came a little earlier than we bargained for" kendall started " so we didn't get to finish off all our to do list, did we pais?" He gave paisley a smile and a squeeze "basically now your all here we wanted to ask you guys a few things."

all eyes were now on kendall, I had a feeling a marriage proposal was coming

"I've already asked my brother and his girlfriend if he would like the responsibility which he excepted but Logan... And Mackenzie, would you also like to be Ophelias god parents? Steer her in the right direction when she needs it?" kendall finished.

"its an honour man, we would love to wouldn't we kenz" Logan said.

"yeah course, thanks pais, it means a lot" I said, paisley smiled at me.

"Carlos, if you could promise that you will be the cool one and buy her alcohol when she begs you on her 16th birthday" paisley said laughing.

Carlos laughed "sure that's a done deal" he chuckled.

kendall then looked at Sheriden. I felt sorry for her really, I bet she dipped out on god parent because James wasnt Christian.

She smiled at kendall. "Sheriden, and James..." He began.

"this is totally up to you guys... Sleep on it if you want...but paisley and I ... Well if anything happened to us, we would like it if you would ..." Kendall couldn't think of appropriate words

Paisley took over.

"we would be happy knowing that Ophelia would have a loving family like you guys to rely on if anything did happen to kendall and I... Sleep on it... We won't be offended if you say no, I just feel of all the people in our lives, you and Sheriden could love her like no one else" paisley finished with a smile.

James gave Sheriden a kiss on the head "that's really something... thanks guys, if its okay that we have a chat about it... Obviously with how things are..." James started but Sheriden interrupted.

"no ... James, I would love to have that job if you are willing... Love to" she said to him.

James smiled at her "then... we would love to" James said to kendall and paisley.

"right I'm gonna have to steal Reno jnr off you princess, " Logan said to Sheriden.

I stood up so Logan could get off the sofa.

The evening progressed well, Carlos didn't say anything out of order at all, he was actually very friendly.

Once Ophelia began to get a bit grizzly I nudged Logan to make a move home, I had a long night of doing my sisters hair ahead of me.

"pais we are going to leave you in peace, she is so beautiful" Logan said as he gave her a hug.

"oh you don't have to go guys. Its nice for us all to be together" paisley said.

"well Kenzie has got to do savannahs hair and stuff, so I have a boring night ahead" he chuckled.

"yeah I will make a move too paisley, she is a credit to you both. Let's hope she looks like you" Carlos said laughing.

We said good bye to everyone and walked out to our cars. Carlos took the opportunity to show Logan his new car. Logan was suitably impressed.

"listen man if your not doing anything tonight maybe we could hang out, you could come round mine and play ps3 instead of watching hair being done" Carlos said to Logan.

"I would love to Los but kenz has been really poorly... I don't wanna leave her really" Logan replied.

"oh right... yeah course..." Carlos replied.

"...well feel free to come round ours... Mine, its been ages since we hung out Los" Logan offered. He was too nice for his own good.

Carlos looked at me but I looked away, it was going to take a lot more than playing silly games with my boyfriend to make me forgive him for everything.

"are you sure" Carlos asked.

"yeah positive, go on" Logan added.

Carlos agreed and said he would follow us down to Logans house.

On the journey back in the car Logan brought the subject up " you don't mind do you kenz?" He asked.

"no... I want you guys to be good friends again i just hope he isn't up to something logues, I just don't trust him... Its gonna take a while, you know" I replied.

"I know baby, If he tries anything then he is out okay... Or we will set savannah on him" he laughed.

"too fucking right you can" savannah added from the back.

I had my work cut out for me with my sisters hair, removing the weave, cutting, colouring, then putting in new extensions plus an eyelash tint.

She looked amazing by the time I had finished but I was exhausted and looked like a bag of shit, I slumped next to Logan now dressed in my pjs who was playing against Carlos in a racing game

Logan looked at me then did a double take "shit kenz, you alright, you look as white as a sheet" he said.

I nodded and rested my head on his shoulder. "just tired looking forward to bed time I smiled

"I'll take your go Logan" savannah said taking his controller before he could even answer. She was Sat on the other side of Logan, neither of us wanted to sit with Carlos on his sofa

Savannah enjoyed her video games, but I think she saw it as a good opportunity to beat Carlos and call him some name along the way.

"you fucking Dick" she shouted as her car got nudged out of 1st place.  
Carlos laughed at her.

She ended up coming in third, they began another game.

Logan whispered in my ear.  
"you sure you okay, you look ill Kenzie"

"I'm fine, just want to relax in bed... Maybe let you make love to me" I whispered back with a glint in my eye.

Logan looked me up and down, taking in the sights of my body,  
"its a good idea I think you should let me... I bet I could relax you" he hushed back at me smiling.

"love you logues" I said not bothering to whisper

"Jesus, go fuck her brains out already Logan, she is going to ruin your sofa if you two carry on like that for much longer" savannah said very loudly, I think it was more to annoy Carlos than to embarrass me.

"sav'! " Logan said with a half smile on his face.

"what? ...Logan you turn me on sometimes with some of the crap you whisper in her ear... You will Defo need an upholstery specialist to get that stain out" she said looking and laughing at me.

"savannah that is disgusting" I laughed "I don't want to hear my sister say things like that" I finished, chuckling. I was enjoying the look of horror that now sat on Carlos' face.

Savannah laughed "but its okay to hear my sister say things like 'cum in my face logues... Harder logues... Oh my god logues...' That's disgusting kenz, those walls in the apartment are paper thin" she laughed.

Logan was in hysterics.

"you're a bitch sav' " I said going as red as my hair.

"can I grab a lift back Logan" she then said in all seriousness as Carlos beat her again on the car game.

"I thought you said you would stay tonight" I asked her.

"Na I don't fancy it... This place is too posh" she said bluntly.

Logan looked at me and rolled his eyes.  
"you can tell you two are related... Yeah I'll grab my shoes then drive you back" Logan said.

" well I'm going to get going, I don't mind dropping her off, the salon is on my way" Carlos said.

"really that's kind thanks Los" Logan said

"err I don't think so" savannah said looking at Carlos like he was a disease.

"sav... Don't be rude, besides its either we drag kenz out with us in her fluffy slippers or we leave her with Carlos here, Coz I'm not leaving her on her own"

I looked at my sister, there was no way I wanted to be left alone with him  
"fucks sake... I'm not making small chat with you" she said to Carlos.

"she is a charmer isn't she" Carlos said to me but I didn't reply.

"savannah call me when your home okay, I will give you ten minutes" I said loudly, I knew Carlos wouldn't hurt her but I didn't trust him at all.

"she will be fine kenz" Carlos said putting his shoes on "thanks for inviting me round it was fun" he added.

Logan responded to him, I didn't want to waste another breath on Carlos pena, I will never forgive him for what he did to Logan when he found out I had slept with him behind his back, breaking his cheekbone and eye socket.

I gave my sister a hug and watched as her grumpy face got in Carlos' new car.  
Logan and I waved her off.

Logan looked at me as he stayed waving.  
"I will give you a five second head start kenz, then I'm going to fuck you where I find you" Logan said, beginning our sexy little game of hide and seek that would entertain us in more ways than one.

"5 seconds ... What the fuck? That's not long enou..." I tried to say but Logan interrupted me.

"one!..." He laughed, I then ran in to the house trying to find a decent spot that I could enjoy some Logan time. There was no way I would make it upstairs but I darted For it anyway but half way up Logan grabbed me around the waist.

"stairs huh... " he said kissing me.

I smiled." Not intentionally" I said breaking away from his .

"come on then" he whispered taking my hand and leading me up to our bedroom.

Logan watched me as I undressed from my pyjamas, leaving them scattered on the floor.

I then undressed him, removing his tee shirt that he wore and running my hand along his perfect chest. I loved it, it was muscly and hard and smooth, I kissed along it as I unbuttoned his jeans.

Logan ran his fingers down my side, it tickled and gave me goose bumps .

Once undressed we lay on the bed.  
"I missed you so much not being here kenz" Logan said as he kissed me.

I wrapped my arms tighter around him, he entered me and made love to me slowly.

Usually Logan wasnt the make love type, he usually banged my brains out, but on the occasions that he was feeling over protective of me he would lavish on my body slowly and romantically.

I knew I was going to be in love with Logan Henderson for the rest of my life.


	4. Chapter 4

**Savannahs story**

"how long are you staying with Kenzie for" the Dickwad asked me.

"Carlos, I said I didn't want to make small talk..." I replied staring out in to space.

"okay... Just being friendly" he replied

I didn't bother to respond to him but he must of felt the silence as awkward as he wouldn't shut the fuck up.

"I am sorry... You know about how I treated Mackenzie but she hurt me real bad... Your too young to understand I guess" he said.

"don't patronise me Carlos, I'm 18 I've had my fair share of heart ache but I've never done anything as stupid as some of the shit kenz tells me about you... She fucking hates your guts... She has already told me that when the time comes that her and Logan walk down the isle, you won't even have an invite... You must be a fucking specialist at pissing people off, because my sister is the nicest person I know, you screw with her and you will get the wrong end of me..." I snapped back.

"I can't remember the last time she even spoke to me... Your very different to Mackenzie, but your like the blonde version of her... You look very alike" he said.

"gross" was all I said back.

"gross? You don't like looking like your sister?" The dumb ass asked.

"no what's gross is that you think I'm hot Coz I look like my sister... The thought of that repulses me. I think some sick just came in my mouth actually" I retorted.

Carlos laughed.

"you speak your mind don't you savannah" he replied.

"I don't see the point in sugar coating the truth" I spat back at him.

"I guess not... I really did love her in my defence" he said.

"she used to really love you too, then she met you and changed her mind" I said in an upbeat way.

"okay" was all he replied.

"she is so in love with Logan its untrue" I carried on.

"really... Your very loyal to your sister aren't you?... Maybe a change of subject?" He requested.

"you never gave my sister the option of a change of subject each time you called her a slut, whore or bitch, why should I spare your feelings now?" I said calmly.

"because I'm behind the wheel of the car that's in motion perhaps" he threatened in a jokey way.

"please!, you haven't even gone near the speed limit yet, I think you would cry if you got a speck of dust on it, this car is a waste on a moron like you... Logan knows how to impress kenz with his car... " I loved winding up this douche bag.

"fuck off, no he doesn't, Logans car doesn't even belong to him anyway, he wouldn't dare rag it... Or risk Mackenzie by messing around" he snapped back.

"still fact of the matter is you don't have the balls to put this machine to the test" I said giving the dash a stroke to pity the car that it had such an idiotic owner.

"yeah I do" he replied.

"Carlos your boring me now..." I replied going back to my staring out the window position.

"fuck it" Carlos declared then put his foot down on the pedal down the deserted road.

"oooh stop it your scaring me" I said sarcastically.

"red light coming... I'm running it unless you say stop sav?... Your call... Quick" he said.

"you don't have the balls Carlos" I said watching as his foot was still flat on the gas.

"I'm gonna run it unless you say stop... Soon see who the chicken is huh?" He said.

"kenz is gonna hate you when she hears about this" I said now actually feeling uneasy as the car was bombing it down the road.

"she hates me any way, doesn't make any diff" he said.

"run it then" I bluffed.

Carlos laughed  
"okay" think its too late to stop now any way.

The car shot through just as the red light turned amber, Carlos whooped regardless.  
"in your fucking face savannah, I was well over 100mph there.

the car began slowing down as Carlos took his foot off the peddle.  
"woo fucking hoo, aren't you just a real man now" I mocked him.

"oh fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" Carlos then said looking in his mirror.

I turned around and saw flashing blue lights in the distance and let out a laugh.

"well its not fucking funny is it?" Carlos said as he pulled over "I'm going to lose my fucking licence now I'm on 5 points already in two years... Fuck!" He shouted.

"Jesus stop whining like a little girl, move your ass" I said un buckling my seat belt. Carlos just sat in his seat.

"move your ass," I repeated undoing his seatbelt and pulling him over to my seat.

"savannah what the fuck?" He said.

"Jesus do you want to keep your license or not? Get out the fucking seat" I snapped at him.

He did finally swap, it was awkward squeezing past each other in the tiny sports car, I just about got buckled up in the drivers seat when a knock came to the tinted window.

"where is the button?" I asked.

"what?" Carlos said.

"Jesus the fucking button for the window" I explained.

"oh... There you go" Carlos said pressing a button in the centre of the dash.

" hi officer... What up?" I said cheerily to the very handsome cop that stood at my window.

"what's up, is that you where 4 times over the speed limit... License and registration please."

I grabbed my bag from the footwell Carlos now had his feet in and got my license out of my purse.

"the car doesn't belong to me" I said to the police man as I handed him my drivers license.

"do you have permission to use this vehicle miss Davies" the cop said as he read the details on my license.

"yep I sure do" I replied and rubbed Carlos' leg.

"are you insured on this vehicle?" The officer asked.

"no that was going to be my first job to do tomorrow wasn't it babe" I said to Carlos.

Carlos just nodded.

the cop eyed the situation in the car and nodded.

"I'm going to run some checks on your license miss Davies. Please remain in your car" he said then walked back to his own vehicle.

"what's with all the babe and leg rubbing?" Carlos asked.

"Coz I'm already doing you a fucking favour on the speeding I'm trying to butter the pig up so I don't get done for no insurance and dangerous driving you idiot" I said.

"thanks for doing this savannah..." Carlos said.

"whatever... You owe me fucking big time" I said just as the cop walked back up to the car.

"miss Davies you already have 3 points on your license in the last 8 months, you will be given another two for the speeding offence, your license will be revoked" the officer said.

"no I don't! I have one point for a minor accident that wasnt even my fucking fault" I argued.

" please do not swear at me miss, it says on the records that you have along with the accident two parking offences... Three points are on your license" he said again.

"fucks sake this is bull shit" I said.

"sav calm down" Carlos said.

"no Carlos... I wasn't aware that I had two parking offences... That's bull shi.." I tried to argue but the police officer interrupted me.

"miss Davies can you step out of the car please" the cop asked.

"what?" I asked "why?"

"step out of the car please I would like you to take a breathalyser test... Have you been drinking this evening miss Davies?" He said.

I looked at Carlos to give him the 'shit I've fucked up big style' eyes as I stepped out of the car, I gathered he knew what I meant as he was now grabbing his head in his hands.

"I may have had a glass of wine with dinner" I lied to the cop. I had about 4 glasses of wine as I did my nails waiting for Mackenzie to finish my hair.

"can you tell me the legal age for drinking please miss Davies" the cop asked.

"21 sir" I replied.

"blow in to this until the green light flashes please" he continued.

I blew in to the breathalyser hoping for a miracle.

"that's brilliant thank you miss Davies" the cop said taking the breathalyzer from me.

"okay it says you are just under" he smiled at me. "I will write you out a ticket for the speeding, once the paper work comes through you will lose your license I'm afraid miss Davies, but I am willing to over look the drinking and will issue you with a verbal warning, next time you will spend the night in a cell... Understood?" He finished.

"yep... Crystal clear" I replied.

the officer bent down in to the car "have you got any ID sir" the policeman asked Carlos.

"sure... There you go..." Carlos replied and handed the officer the ID he had just pulled from his wallet.

"Have you got any proof of insurance that you can show to me for this vehicle?" the cop then asked.

Carlos flipped the visor and handed the policeman his insurance details. The police officer gave it all a good going over.

"okay... Here's what I'm going to do Mr pena, normally I would impound the car as it was being driven without insurance, but I'm going to be lenient tonight seeing as your girlfriend is going to lose her license anyway, and personally if this was my car I would go out of my mind" he smiled "I will issue miss Davies with a fine of 1000 dollars, and let you drive the car away, she its not permitted to drive it do you understand?" The cop finished.

"yes" Carlos said and got out of his passenger side door and walked round.

the officer went through some paper work with me that I had to sign, then wished me a good night as I got In to the passenger side of Carlos' sports car.

Carlos drove off slowly, not saying a word to me. A minute later he pulled in to the little parking lot next to my sisters hair dressing salon and flat that sat above it.

We sat in silence for a minute.

"well that didn't go as I had planned" I declared.

"no... " Carlos agreed.

"well thanks for the lift" I said reaching for the car door.

"savannah... Wait!, I'm really really sorry, I will pay the fine and what ever it costs to get your license back when you can okay... Plus all your travel expenses... I'm sorry" he said.

I slumped back in to the car seat with one leg out the door.

"yeah whatever" I replied.

"my heart is racing like anything now" Carlos said.

"bit of a fucking rush wasnt it?" I laughed as I rested my head on the back of the seat.

"you're insane" Carlos Said laughing.

"well least we know that even I have bigger balls than you Carlos" I smiled.

"yeh... I'll give you that one... You have some big brass hairy balls savannah" he laughed. "if you need a lift when your in LA to go any where give me a call okay" he said.

I laughed "you may regret that" I said.

"what do you mean?" He asked.

I rolled my eyes "long fucking story".

"well I have a while... Was gonna meet some friends but I don't really fancy it now after all that... What is the story?" He asked.

I looked at Carlos.."you want to come in?" I said.

Carlos looked up at Mackenzies flat and sighed.  
"sure okay" he replied.

I rustled around for the keys in my bag and eventually unlocked the door. Carlos followed me up the narrow stairs that ran along the walls of the salon.

As we entered the flat I noticed Carlos take in every detail.

"why don't you take a fucking picture... it will last longer" I said as he stared at the surroundings with Mackenzies belongings that were only here as stage props so our mother wouldn't think she had moved in with Logan after only being with him for such a short time.

"sorry... I've just never got to see any of it... This, she only visited me, I never got round to going to her place... So what's the Long story" he said as he sat down at the tiny kitchen table as he watched me make a coffee.

" well to be fair its a shame your not as nice as Logan Coz your definately better looking, you should of visited her, you should of listened to her that she didn't want to do that lame ass TV show of sheridens too, that was you're down fall from the start, she would talk to Logan for ages on the phone moaning about how you wouldn't listen" I went on.

"really... Well that's lovely and everything savannah but I really don't want to hear about it all... What's this long story?" He asked again "obviously kenz doesn't know about it as you are willing to talk to me about it" he said smugly.

"yeah well like I said Logan is a lot nicer. Basically I'm behind in my rent on the flat in Idaho, and the landlady has asked me to leave" I said.

Carlos looked at me "well that wasn't a very long story was it, I won't be needing that coffee if your finished already?" He remained seated with an even smugger look on his face.

"okay... I got the sack from my job 3 months ago because I got caught doing something I shouldn't of, which has resulted in me not being able to pay the rent" I said handing him his coffee and sitting on the opposite side of the tiny table.

Carlos grinned "what did you do, steal?" He asked

"steal? No! What the fuck do you take me for?... I got in to trouble for sucking someones Dick on company time" I said.

Carlos looked like he wanted to say something but didn't.

"if you dare say any fucking thing about me being a slut like my sister I will hit you" I spat at him.

"I didn't say anything, how did you get caught, did someone walk in on you?" Carlos asked, intrigued by my dirty story.

"no... as far as I was aware the CCTV wasn't working in that room... Hadn't been for weeks, but they fixed it and I didn't realise. I guess I'm lucky I'm not a youtube sensation" I mused " Mackenzie doesn't have a clue about this, she thinks I've got holiday, my mom is going to be upset... my dad is gonna kill me... I'm just hiding out here, not knowing what to do... Any ideas?" I said.

"its pretty fucked up, so your living here then, without your sister knowing?" He asked.

"your smarter than you look, yeah pretty much, I was going to tell her the truth but the first few nights she didn't come back, and the entrances to the flat and the salon are at opposite ends so she never sees me" I sighed.

"shit I was meant to call her half hour ago to say you hadn't killed me", I grabbed my phone and wrote out a short text and sent it to Mackenzie,

"well, I don't really know what advice to offer, kenz will see the funny side if you tell her" he said grinning.

"I doubt it, she will talk to old friends down there and end up hating me... Fucking bastards" I said reliving the memory.

"no she won't, its only sucking a Dick, I'm sure your not the only one to get caught" he said.

"well it wasn't just one Dick, it was a few dicks, all caught on is... My landlady found out the reason I was sacked and kicked me out... I'm lucky they didn't go to the police" I finally confessed.

"what? Hold up... Okay... so you didn't get behind in rent you just got caught doing that and its now common knowledge in your little town that you like to suck Dick" Carlos laughed.

"its not funny" I said looking up to the ceiling realising the mess my life was, now I don't even have my drivers license.

"savannah why would they of phoned the police?... Did... Money exchange hands?"

I couldn't even bring my self to say yes, so I just looked at him.

"savannah... Jesus Christ... Your selling yourself? Why? That's so fucking dangerous" he continued.

"I'm not a prostitute Carlos... I ... never let any one touch me... I just needed the money, I used to go out with this guy, Gavin... He was a lot older than me and he bought me a lot of nice stuff because I would please him but his wife found out and that was the end of that, then this other guy that I've known for ages ... well we went out one night with friends and he was pretty full on with me but I said the only way I would ever suck his Dick is if he brought me a pair of shoes I had had my eye on for months..." I stopped as Carlos' face had a look if horror on it.

"go on..." He said.

I took a sip of coffee "well I got the shoes, put it that way. followed by this this" I said pulling at the cuff of my beautiful red tight leather jacket. "Then things just got out of hand, I will leave it to your own imagination but the room at work had 9 separate occasions filmed on its camera" I said

"savannah... You did all that to get nice things? Your a pretty girl, there is no way you honestly needed to do that" was all he said, his face no longer smiling now he knew it was more serious than just a cheeky blow job.

"please don't tell Mackenzie" I sighed.

"I won't tell her... Sav this is pretty serious... You do know that right? Have you... Done anything similar since you have been staying here?" He asked.

"no I'm not a fucking idiot Carlos. I do realise who my sister is dating. I've would never do that to them" I said.

"good because the last thing big time rush needs is to be linked with shit like that... So when are you meant to be returning home, what have you told Mackenzie... why don't you go back to your mums?" He asked.

"I told kenz two weeks, and my mom has just moved her new fella in to her house, he is a total wank stain, I couldn't stand to live there now...everything is so messed up" I declared.

Carlos rubbed his temples with his thumbs thinking "what are you doing for money out here sav... Seriously its so expensive" was all he asked.

"I get by" I said

Carlos took another look around Mackenzies flat.

"okay well I'm going to leave" he said getting up.

"what? Why are you getting so anal about me now" I snapped.

"because it worries me that your using this place as some kind of brothel and I don't want to be any where near it" he hissed back.

"I'm not..." I screamed "look honestly I'm not, I wouldn't do anything that would hurt Kenzie. I would never do anything like that here... Carlos I promise" I said now more calmly.

"savannah I'm going to ask you this once, have you done anything like that in LA?" He said cooly.

I looked at Carlos as he stood in the doorway of my sisters kitchen.

"I met one guy in a club..." I whispered.

Carlos sat back down at the table "did you sleep with him" he asked.

I shook my head... "Just the same as the others" I whispered

"for stuff or money?" Carlos then asked.

"money... I needed to eat, kenz didn't know I was here and there is fuck all to eat in this flat... But why not, if some dumb ass guys wants to pay me for the pleasure then why the fuck not" I shouted.

Carlos shook his head "you need to get out of LA savannah and sort yourself out... I don't want to sound harsh but your a ticking time bomb for your sister" he said.

"funny how your all caring about kenz now" I said huffing.

"really? Maybe I'm not, I could finish her off with a story like this about you... She would be a laughing stock" he said spitefully.

"you wouldn't?" I said

"course I fucking wouldn't, which is why you have to leave or stop doing it...just tell her the truth" he said.

"I'm not telling her the truth... I promise I will try to get a job though okay, just don't tell her... Jesus why did I tell you, your a fucking ass hole... Get out" I shouted.

"thanks for the speeding thing savannah" he said before walking away out of the flat.

I wish I hadn't told him, but in a way I'm glad I could actually talk about it.

I guess I was a class A slut, I lost my virginity at 13, once it had gone I pretty much just slept with anyone, it never seemed like a special thing to me it was just sex.

Of course my family don't know about my little obsession with sex... Not that I would call it an obsession, its more just something to do, when I was with Gavin he would treat me to nice things for doing things that his wife wouldn't, which was pretty much everything, I didn't see any harm in it but I just learnt it was an easy way to get things.

The first blow job I gave in that little room at work... Yeah I felt a bit seedy after but it went away and the other times were easy after. I just didn't think about it, got on with it and took the money.

I went to sleep thinking about the sexy cop that gave me a dressing down this evening for 'speeding'.


	5. Chapter 5

**Savannahs story continued** - **contains very sensitive scenario that some will find very upsetting  
**  
Carlos woke me up by banging the front door down early the next morning,

I opened it up after getting dressed quick, I knew it was him as I could see his car outside the window of my bedroom.

"what?" I answered.

"don't what me! I have brought things for you" he said barging in.

"things... What things" I said following him up the narrow stairs.

Carlos dumped a couple of bags on the kitchen counter.

"food and stuff so you don't do... What you do, its a way of saying thanks for taking the rap for me last night"

I had a look through the bags,

"Hmmm ... Thanks... I guess, I don't really need anything at the moment, Kenzie makes sure I eat when she knows I'm here" I said.

"well stash it for when you do need it" he replied.

"thanks... I guess. your still a prick though, just so we are clear" I said.

"yeah that's cool, your still an obnoxious loud mouth slut" Carlos said with a smile.

I laughed "great, now get out" I smiled, I rather enjoyed our little insult throwing matches.

I followed Carlos down the stairs of the flat and he opened the door up, on the other side stood Logan with his key in his hand ready to unlock it.

The two boys looked at each other for a second.

"why are you here?" He said looking at Carlos. "Are you okay savannah?" Logan asked.

"course I'm okay... " I replied, "Carlos is ... taking me out to breakfast" I lied.

"okay...why?" Logan asked checking Carlos over to make sure he was wearing different clothes from last night.

"ewe fucksake logues, Carlos got pulled over last night and I took the blame for him, he is taking me out for breakfast as a way of saying thanks... Mackenzie doesn't need to know about it.." I said.

Logan looked at Carlos, "just breakfast... Fucking cops" Carlos replied.

"okay, I saw the car as I turned around after dropping kenz off that's all, just wondered what was going on" Logan said.

"well just breakfast is going on, we were just leaving logues... See you tonight yeah? I will come round after 6 when kenz has finished work" I said.

"sure... " Logan said and began walking away to his car, he turned around "sav?" He said

"yeah?" I replied.

"if you were just heading out, you might want to think about putting some shoes on" he said then got in his car.

Both Carlos and I looked at my bare feet as Logan drove away.

"fucksake, he thinks something funny is going on now" Carlos said.

"I hope not, your disgusting" I replied.

"really, couldn't even pay you to sleep with me I bet huh" he said sarcastically.

"ha fucking ha... No I wouldn't want you ever even if you was the last guy on earth... Besides I already know your not worth it" I said walking back up the stairs, Carlos followed me up.

"why are you still here" I said

"breakfast... Might as well go, least then Logan will hear the story of what you ate" he said.

"fuck sake... I need to get ready first, take a seat." I said.

I was a very high maintenance girl, I liked big hair, big make up and nice things, it came in handy that my sister was an awesome hairdresser.  
90% of me was fake, the hair, the colour, the tan, the eyelashes, the nails but I looked hot to trot, I loved looking my best all the time, so Carlos was going to have a long wait in the kitchen for me to get myself sorted.

"ready" I said well over an hour and a half later.

"Jesus wept! you take ages" Carlos said

"a girls got to look her best. I'm fucking starving Carlos, let's move... Your paying aren't you?" I said.

"yes savannah I will pay... Christ your nothing like your sister at all are you" he said as we walked down the stairs.

"nope, nothing alike, I won't take any of your shit Carlos. You can take me to tarners... Its meant to be nice in there" I declared.

"tarners... I am not taking you to tarners savannah, your getting a MacDonalds if your lucky" he said smiling.

"really? No wonder Mackenzie lost interest in you" I said spitefully.

"fuck off savannah, you always talk such shit" he replied.

Thankfully Carlos did not take me to MacDonalds but to a nice little bistro.

"Jesus will you stop doing that" Carlos moaned.

"doing what fuck face" I replied.

"fuck face? I'm having trouble believing you are an actual girl under neath all that make up with that disgusting mouth you have, but please stop posing like that, you look like a total idiot" he said.

"no I don't Carlos, I look fucking 's why they keep taking photos of me" I replied dryly.

"sorry sweet cheeks, but its because you're with me that the paps are snapping" he replied.

I glared at him, I loved all this attention.

"what are you doing for the rest of the day then, Logan has time off so that must mean you do too.

"I am doing nothing, but I am also doing nothing with you savannah, I know your little game and I'm not buying in I'm afraid" he said.

"what do you mean?" I asked with my sweetest grin.

"you want to use me to get noticed" he replied with a grin "its not happening sav... I can't stand you"

"fine fuck you..." I replied and smiled.

Carlos laughed. "I'm not doing you any more favours than giving you the odd lift"

"that's okay, I can cause my own media attention... It must bite being the under dog of the band" I spat back at him.

Carlos gave me the look of death, he knew full well that he was the least popular of the band in the eyes of the media. Mackenzie had always told me how Carlos loved the spotlight but he hadn't really had any on his own unlike the others.

"is that so, you think you can make your self known in this town ... On your own?" He laughed "I would rather be the under dog than just plain old dog" he said eyeing me up and down.

I chuckled "oh Carlos... You really are dumb, and yes I bet you 50 dollars that I can get myself in the paper with out it coming from your mouth...it will be something I do" I gloated.

Carlos laughed. "deal... 50 bucks, your a no one Savannah and you will stay that way." He retorted.

"fuck you, tell you what... If I win you have to take me to Sheriden Lloyds finale bash next weekend" I said.

"you actually believe you can get noticed within a week for me to take you to sheridens party?... Your deluded" he chuckled.

"no it won't take a week, maybe the end of the day?" I smiled.

Carlos laughed loudly "go for it, I will take you to the party if you succeed" he said.

I smiled.

"no hard feelings" I said.

"what do you mean?" He said still smiling his ridiculous smile at me.

I stood up and threw the water that was in my glass over Carlos' face.

"for that" I replied then walked away getting papped the life out of by the photographers that had been snapping at us during our breakfast.

I began walking home trying to hide the smile that wanted to spread across my face.  
That was for Mackenzie I thought to myself.  
I must of walked for about ten minutes down the road when Carlos' red sports car crept up on me.  
The tinted window wound down.

"your a total Dick savannah I can't believe you did that" Carlos called from his car.

"I Said no hard feelings... Was just business, but I think I have a strong chance of being taken to that after party" I Said still walking along the side walk, the car crawled alongside the curb.

"get in" he said.

"no... I do believe I'm still being photographed." I said looking over my shoulder to one of the paparazzi that had his lens pointed my way.

"savannah get in or I will drive off, it will take you ages to get back to that shitty flat" he shouted through the window.

I looked at him and rolled my eyes. But carried on walking.

"sav' just get in... please" he asked.

I walked up to the window and leaned in. "I wonder what story they will make up about us" I said.

"probably that your an insane bitch... Get in!"

"lovers tiff I expect" I mused.

"savannah I don't give a shit... Look can you just get in so I can drop you of and get rid of you" Carlos said.

"fine" I said and got in the car slamming the door shut.

"Jesus careful, I've only had it two minutes" Carlos moaned.

"oh shut the fuck up, you're like an old woman Carlos, no wonder no girlfriend sticks with you for long." I shouted.

"right get out" he said.

"what?" I asked, confused of the situation now.

"get the fuck out... You can walk" he repeated.

"I'm not getting out of the car" I stated.

"I'm not going to drive you any where until you can behave like an actual person with feelings" he said.

I looked at Carlos, maybe I had over stepped the mark with my girlfriends comment... Did I care? No!  
"oh I see, your gay now? because that sounded really bent Carlos.. Fuck, you need to seriously grow a set, you dish it all out, but when a little girl says some hurtful words you, you're all about feelings... You can feel this " I said pointing my middle finder up at him "feel it up your ass hole" I finished and crossed my arms over my chest.

Silence filled the car for several minutes. When I finally did look at Carlos he tried to have a serious face on him.  
"Dick" I said and he cracked a smile which made me laugh.

"your a fucking retard Carlos" I said chuckling to myself.

"and your a bitch" he replied starting up his engine

Carlos dropped me off at the flat above my sisters salon.  
"see you at six then" I said as I got out.

"what?" He replied.

"I said see you at six, I need a lift to Logans house, you said you would give me lifts because you made me lose my license" I explained.

"get a taxi... There you go" he said handing over 30 dollars, I don't want to see you're face again today" he said.

I took the money and smiled "second thoughts I will just grab a lift with kenz and Logan when he picks her up" I Said stuffing the money on my pocket.

"savannah... I don't believe you..." He said.

"better believe it sweet cheeks" I retorted using his patronising word from earlier back at him. "I will see you next Saturday when you pick me up for sheridens after party" I winked and walked up to my sisters flat. "I will be ready at 8:30" I called from the front door.

"yeah whatever see you Friday" he called from his window and drove off.

The rest of the day went very nicely, I walked down to the salon at six to help Mackenzie lock up and wait for Logan to pick us up.

Mackenzie wanted to get a takeaway in and veg out with a movie. This sounded like a good plan.

"so Logan said that you went out to breakfast with Carlos?" My sister said sceptically.

I laughed, "yeah he is such a jumped up little prick, check this out" I said loading up the celeb news on my phone and finding the amazing photograph of me drenching Carlos with my water, and then another one of him curb crawling me, which looked like he was begging for forgiveness for something.

"oh my God" Mackenzie said laughing.  
"that is priceless" .

"its all fairly innocent, he said I couldn't work my way in to the press on my own... I won the bet" I smirked.

"its amazing I think I might print it and frame it" she said

"the amazing part is he is taking me to sheridens end of season party next Saturday" I beamed.

"well that's disturbing, I would call that a date savannah, he is a nasty piece of work. don't get mixed up with him" my sister said

"I can't stand the guy, it is definitely not a date, I'm more using him as a stepping stone for the world to see my beauty... Besides a tube of pringles had more charisma than that guy" I said smiling.

"I don't know why you would want to go to that" Mackenzie said pulling a funny face.

"are you not going?" I asked.

"nope, I hate things like that, I will go if its something important for Logan, but that is a Sheriden Lloyd thing so I'm steering clear... Logues is going though, so keep an eye that no one takes advantage if he drinks too much, usually paisley will be on Logan watch but I doubt she is going" she said.

"Logan watch? Kenz Logan is mad about you, just because he used to be a man whore doesn't mean he is now" I said matter of factly.

"a man whore?... Nice thanks sav" Logan said standing behind me, he had just walked in without me hearing the door go.

"hey I was sticking up for you, it was kenz saying your gonna need a baby sitter at sheridens thing next week... You have moi" I said cheerily.

Logan ignored me and went to Kenzie and gave her a kiss "I would never hurt you baby, you know that I hope" he whispered to her.

Mackenzie looked embarrassed, she gave me death eyes just like Carlos had earlier.

"course I do logues, I didn't mean like that, I'm sorry" she said.

"its okay, no need to be sorry, trust is earnt, I know that" he said kissing her again.

Once kenz had finished doing her till, and locked up we had a nice evening around Logans, he had this miniature cinema room in his house, it was basically a massive fucking TV, and a bunch of leather cinema chairs set out in the room.

We watched a couple of ridiculous 80's horrors after we had eaten. Then sat in Logans lounge.

"Savannah what are you going to wear to sheridens doo then? its going to be a very fancy bash, I couldn't stand being in the same room as all them models in there designer gear" Mackenzie said.

"shit, I hadn't even thought of that... I will have to go shopping" I replied.

"yeah and what's all this that you took the blame for Carlos getting a speeding ticket?" She added.

I glared at Logan "trust is earnt?" I said to Logan, who had clearly gone behind my back and told my sister. "thanks a fucking bunch Logan... Jack ass!" I spat at him.

"sorry, I'm just a man whore after all sav" he replied smiling.

I smiled back sarcastically "yes I swapped seats with Carlos so he wouldn't lose his license, its no big deal" I explained a fraction of the story, pissed off now knowing that however loyal Logan was to my sister, he would stab me in the back with little or no notice... Prick, last time I tell him anything.

Logan and Mackenzie dropped me off to the flat, I checked my bank online, I had 60 dollars in my account, and thirty dollars that I had snagged off of Carlos.

90 bucks wasn't going to get me a designer dress for the party. It wouldn't even get me a nice pair of shoes.

I had a look in my bag that had all my clothes that I had brought with me to california, the rest of my belongings were either in my car back in Idaho or in my friend louise's moms garage... In Idaho.

I rifled through everything but nothing was going to be good enough, I needed money.

I found a hot looking dress and did my make up and hair. The advantage of living in this flat is it wasn't far from the city centre.  
I made my way to a club to find some easy money.

Once in, it only took me a few minutes to spot the drunken loner that would most probably part with his hard earned cash for some enjoyment round the back of the club.

I spent about ten minutes talking to him then gave him a few saucy kisses on the dance floor I layed my cards on the table asking if he was up for some fun...he was up for it.

and was an easy 40 bucks.

after blow job number one, I went back inside the club and tried to spot Mr money bags for a possible number 2, I did spot one guy, he was hot, and made some eye contact with me as I danced away, but he ended up talking with another girl.

I was just leaving when I noticed a very drunk guy outside the club stumbling about.

I tried the nice approach and asked if he was okay, he wasnt very coherent but again he was willing to give away his hard earned money for some attention on his smaller than average cock.

This was the beauty of men, they thought about sex constantly, and would do pretty much anything to get a piece of action.

The drunk guy from outside the club just handed me his wallet because he was so pissed, I teased him, asking how good he wanted it then kept taking twentys from him the dirtier my explanation got of what my tongue would do to his Dick.

I got 80 dollars from him, I hoped for his sake he would remember in the morning, men are dumb.

I went home a happy girl and 120 bucks better off. Its only a bit of Dick, I never swallowed so it was no harm done really, once I had enough for a decent dress for this party then I would stop doing it I promised myself.

I did the same the following night, but had to try two clubs before I found one that didn't ask for ID.

I only bagged 30 dollars that night, but still it was 240 in my dress fund now with what I had in my bank already and added to my last two nights of seducing men.

Another couple of evenings doing this and I will be able to get something very stunning to wear to the party. I could see why girls that did do this for a living and get stuck in a rut, this was a lot easier than working 12 hours a day and getting paid peanuts.

I managed to get back in to the first club from two nights ago on my third night out hunting for dress money.

The doorman was a pushover compared to last nights one, only had to give him a flash of thigh from my very short skirt to be allowed in.

I scanned the room and saw my Prey, he was very drunk, I worked my magic but he wasnt having any of it, he said he had a girlfriend.

as I moved away I made eye contact with the hot guy from the first night, but this time he didn't have a girl in his ear talking to him, I smiled.

He came over and talked to me, said I was the hottest girl in here... Which I clearly was.

I kissed him, and he rubbed my hand on his hard Dick over his trousers, I smiled.  
Now was the time to state my business.

"how much would you like for me to give that a lick" I said in his ear.

He gave me the sexiest fucking look I've ever seen, if I wasnt wanting a fabulous dress I probably would of just dragged this Hotty back to the flat and let him fuck my brains out.

"I want you to do more than lick it" he said.

"really? How much do you think I would be worth to sort this out" I said giving his hardness a squeeze.

"oh I see its like that is it?... For you baby I would pay anything to see you on the end of it" he replied.

"mmm that's good then let's go" I said biting my lip and dragging him off to the exit.

he pulled on my arm "what about if I sort you out with my friend too... Its his birthday" the hot guy said.

"as long as your paying sweetheart I don't care" I replied.

The hotty tapped his friend on the shoulder and nodded his head in my direction, the other guy which was built like a house and just as hot looked me over then smiled at his friend.

Easy money tonight.

We left the club and went round the back, it was deserted, no cameras, poor lighting and quiet. Perfect to do what I needed to do.

"who is first then? Birthday boy?" I giggled.

The two boys looked at each other, the big guy who's birthday it was came over, I kissed him, and gave him a little stroke with my hand inside his trousers to get him hard.

I noticed the hot guy who was stood watching was undoing his trousers already too.  
It was seeing that and the look on his face that scared me.

I broke away from my kiss on the big guy.

"maybe this was a bad idea guys, my friends will be wondering where I've got to" I said, my voice shaking.

I tried to run but the big guy grabbed my wrist.

His hot mate then grabbed me from behind and between the two of them they dragged me to the ground.

The big guy pulled his trousers down, and his mate then shoved his hand over my face, he was kneeling on my hair and pinned one of my hands down.

I couldn't see much because of the massive hand that was trying to cover my mouth to stop the cries that tried to escape me.

I felt rough hands pull my skirt up, and then my underwear was yanked down.

The big guy forced my legs open and gained entry to me, it hurt so much, I screamed out for help but the hot guy held his hand tighter over me until It blocked my airways, I stopped screaming just so his grip would loosen so I could breath again.

I heard his disgusting grunts as he came, then the snap of a condom come off his Dick as his huge weight lifted off of me.

He laughed "she was good" the big guy said.

my legs were scrambling around trying to kick myself free, but the two men swapped positions.  
I wished they would kill me, I didn't want to go through that a second time.

"is she tight?" The hot guy said as he pinned one of my legs down for his turn to rape me.

The next thing I felt was pain like no other, I presumed it was his fist he was trying to get inside me, I cried out in agony, the big guy that had my top half pinned down then pulled a flip knife from his pocket.  
"I will cut your throat if you do that again. Understand?" He threatened waving the knife near my eye.  
I blinked away tears and nodded that I understood.

The hot guy then climbed on me forcing his disgusting body inside me, his breath in my face was revolting.

His torment on me seemed to last a lot longer than the first. But he too made noises which made it clear my ordeal would soon be over.

"she was shit" the hot guy declared as I heard the snap of his condom come off. Which was then thrown at me.

The big guy let go of me then the two men walked away as casually as nothing out of the ordinary had just happened. Leaving me a sobbing wreck down a dirty alley way at the back of a club.

I sat there for several minutes trying to take in what had just happened. I didn't know what to do, I couldn't phone the police, not after what I had been doing, if they checked CCTV then they would see me from the other night in a similar scenario leaving the club and heading in the direction of the alley way back here.

I moved my hand down to my privates, it hurt so bad down there, as I inspected my hand I noticed it was covered in blood.

I was in shock, my brain wouldn't work, I was scared to move just incase the men where waiting outside the club for me.

I saw my bag and scrambled over to where it had been kicked away from me.  
I scanned through numbers, how the fuck was I going to explain this to Mackenzie.

I dialled Logans number, hopefully he would answer, it was nearly 2am.

It rang

"savannah? " came his half asleep voice.

"Logan... I ..." My voice shook.

"hang on sav..." I heard him moving around "look kenz isn't well again, having you phone at two in the morning isn't gonna help her, she hasn't been asleep long, her breathing has just evened out" he said.

"I'm sorry" I said, trying to hold my tears in, but my voice had turned so high.

"are you okay savannah?" Logan whispered down the phone.

"can you text me Carlos' number please... Its important logues" I said with silent tears dropping from my face, I was sat squashed up to a dumpster, trying to hide from view if the men decided to return.

"fucks sake savannah... is that all you wanted?" Logan said, he sounded pissed off, I wanted to tell him but he would tell my sister this for sure.

"please its important Logan... Please" I sobbed.

"savannah what's wrong?... " Logan said.

"please just text the number" I said then hung up and cried harder than I remember crying ever in my life, I don't think my face would ever feel the same from the amount of sobbing I was doing, I never cried.

My phone beeped which made me jump out of my skin but it was the number I had asked for from Logan, he had added a message saying please call me sav x x .

I called Carlos' number.

"yup... Wassup?" Came another croaky half asleep voice down the phone.

"Carlos its savannah" I cried.

"savannah? ... Oh ... What time is it?" He asked in a mumbled sleepy state.

"Carlos I need you to pick me up" I said, my voice shaking.

"fuck off savannah, when I said that I meant at normal times of the day not like this" he said sounding pissed off.

"Carlos... Something... really... bad has ...happened ... To me" I cried out, I don't even know if Carlos could understand what I had just said.

"where are you?" He said now sounding very awake,

"I'm round the back of time and envy, please hurry up, I'm so scared I can't move." I said.

"I'm on my way..." He said then the line went dead.

I tucked my legs in to my chest trying to make myself as small as possible and cried some more.


	6. Chapter 6

**Savannahs story continued**

"sav?" I heard the low call of Carlos as he made his way around the corner to try and find me at the back of the club.

I was a shaking wreck by now, I couldn't talk, shock had totally set in.

Carlos found me curled up in my upright ball position. He knelt down and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"your freezing savannah" he said then took his jacket off and wrapped it round my shoulders.

"savannah what happened... Were you..." He said looking at the state of my clothes and noticing blood.

I just nodded.

"fuck... Okay let's get you out of here okay, I'm going to help you up, my car is just out front" he said as he pulled me gently to my feet.

We walked slowly to his car, my legs felt like jelly, the pain in between them as I walked just reminded me of what had happened this evening, I started crying again.

Carlos opened his car door and helped me in the passenger seat.

"I'm bleeding... Your car!" I said tears filling my eyes again.

"don't worry about the car sav" he got in and started the engine.

"am I going to the police or the hospital sav?" He asked looking at me.

I shook my head "neither, I'm going to get in so much trouble Carlos"

"savannah I think you need a hospital?" He said looking at my lap that was blood stained.

I just shook my head.

"shall I take you to Mackenzie?" He asked.

"no please... Promise you won't say anything about this to her or Logan... Promise me please " I begged.

"okay... I can't help you though sav, I'm shit at stuff like this. I don't know what to do... What do I do? Tell me" he said looking panicked.

"kill me, put me out if my misery" I said leaning my head on the window.

Carlos held my hand to say everything will be okay but I snapped my hand back, I didn't want to be touched.

I cried again as I looked out to the streets of LA.

after a few minutes I realised where he was taking me, it wasn't great but I could see the appeal. Carlos punched in the security code on the gated entrance.

once parked up he helped me out of the car then we walked up the lengthy drive to Sheriden Lloyds house.

Carlos knocked so loudly, and rang the bell what seemed a million times.

Finally the door opened.

"Carlos what are you doing?" James said as he answered then he looked at me.  
"what the fuck has happened" he then said as he helped me in along with Carlos, I clung to him like my life depended on it.

"go and get Sheriden please" was all Carlos said.

Carlos sat me down while James ran up the stairs to wake Sheriden up.

"savannah how you doing in there?" Carlos asked.

"I don't know" I replied, my body shook with shivers but I wasnt cold.

"Sheriden will take good care of you okay" he said.

"don't leave me on my own... Please" I begged.

"I'm here don't worry" he smiled. It was odd him being nice to me. I must be really messed up looking for him to be so nice.

Sheriden entered the room

"Jesus! What's happened... Savannah are you okay... What have you done now Carlos?" She shouted at him as she sat next to me.

"I didn't do anything Sheriden... She was...shit. she was raped... She's been raped... Fuck" Carlos said.

"oh my god ... ... savannah can you tell me what happened?" Sheriden said soothingly.

"two guys... They pinned me down and took it in turns" I whispered out, fresh tears spilling out.

"Jesus!" James said sitting down and rubbing his head.

"okay... Savannah you are completely safe here, we will call the police and once everything is sorted you can have a nice bath, that will make you feel so much better" Sheriden said to me in such a caring way.

"I don't want the police, I just want a shower... Please" I said looking her straight in the eye.

"savannah this is really serious, you have to tell the police" James said.

I looked at Carlos next to me and gave his hand a squeeze.

"there is a reason she doesn't want the police involved"Carlos said.

Sheriden looked at him waiting for the answer.

"solicitation" Carlos informed everyone in the room.

Sheriden looked shocked but still she gave my shoulder a caring pat, it hurt, I must have a bruise from one of the men leaning on me.

"I feel sick" was all I said

"savannah, it honestly doesn't matter how this happened, those people need to be caught, the police won't care" James said.

I just shook my head.

I looked at my legs dried blood was all over the inside of my thighs, I tried to rub it away with my hand.

"cmon let's get you in the shower" Sheriden said encouraging me up off of the seat.

I nodded and Carlos helped my shaking body up the stairs to the huge bathroom.

"savannah I will be down stairs okay, Sheriden will stay with you if that's okay" he said.

I nodded.

I scrubbed my skin raw in the shower over and over, but I could still smell the rancid beer breath of the second guy up my nose"

After a long time I came out of the shower and Sheriden wrapped a huge towel around me.

"everything will be fine savannah" she said as she sat me down and gently towel dried my hair  
"can you take it out?" I asked.

"take what out honey?" She asked

"the weave, can you take it out, he leaned on it, I couldn't move my head... He used it to pin me down" I said then began crying.

Sheriden gave me a hug which made me cry even harder.

"course I will" she said.

She then opened up a couple of the drawers that were in the huge under sink cabinet and found a small pair of scissors.  
she snipped away at the threads to the extensions and gradually undid the tiny plaits that held it all in place.

While she was doing this I told her the entire story of what happened, everything, from the wanting a new dress to the trips out to the night clubs, I told her every detail, and the pain I felt from what those men had done to me.

She had to stop a couple of times to wipe her own tears away.

"all done" she said as she fluffed my natural shoulder length blonde hair, and chucked my extensions in a bin never to be seen again.

"You look so different without the hair and make up" she said, "you don't need it, your much prettier like this... You look so much like Mackenzie its untrue" she added.

"promise you won't tell her or Logan what happened" I said.

"I promise savannah, don't you worry about that, are you sure you don't want to get the police involved" she asked.

"I'm sure" I replied.

Sheriden took me in to her bedroom to find some suitable pyjamas to wear.

I couldn't get over the grandness of the room or the size of it.

"are you still bleeding savannah?" She asked delicately.

"I'm not sure, it still hurts" I replied.

"Okay well we will put one of those on too then" she said grabbing a sanitary towel from a drawer.

She handed me the clean underwear and the cotton pyjamas, then sat on her bed with her back turned trying to give me a little piece of privacy without leaving me on my own.

"done" I said after the few minutes I spent dressing

She then walked up and gave me a hug.

"thanks Sheriden" I whispered.

"what do you want to do now, I have a bunch of spare rooms if you wanted to try and get some sleep" she asked.

"i don't want to be on my own... I don't think I will ever sleep again, I will never forget this will I? Its going to haunt me forever isn't it?" I said searching her eyes for clues.

"one day at a time okay, come on we will go downstairs and I will let you in on one of my little secrets" she said smiling.

"what secret?" I asked

"well whenever I have something in my head that I don't want to think about, and don't want to be reminded of by songs or TV shows I always rely on my excessive Disney DVD collection, I will pick a good one out for us to watch okay" she smiled "don't tell anyone though I have my evil bitch role to maintain" she added.

I gave her a smile, paisley was right Sheriden really was nice.

Carlos stared at me when I joined him and James back in the reception room, I guess it was because I now looked so much more like Mackenzie without all the make up.

"your hairs gone?" Carlos said

"they leaned on it to pin my head down, I didn't want it on me any more" I said quietly.

Carlos just nodded.

I sat down next to him.

"James can you help me make some drinks please" Sheriden said.  
I guess it was her subtle way of filling James in on all the details of my nights events, he came back out with eyes full of shock and sympathy and handed me a drink and some pills.

"what's this?" I asked holding the pills in my hand.

"xanax... Sheriden uses them to calm her self down for a flight, they will help you relax that's all savannah" he said.

"okay... Thanks" I said then took the pills.

Sheriden came in with a Disney movie as promised, she had opted for a bugs life. Safe as houses to watch .

I gave Carlos' hand a squeeze to say thanks for tonight. He was going to be the last one to find out exactly what had happened to me as I didn't want to part from the ugly little fucker. He was the only person that I knew fairly well.

He smiled at me, I missed his insults. I just wanted to be normal again.

It was just gone five in the morning now, I think Carlos fell asleep before me but half way through the film I did drift off, not sure if it was because of the tiredness or the pills James had supplied for me.

my brain became concious before my eyes opened I could hear voices.

"just ignore it and let her sleep" came a female voice.

"that is the fifth one though" came another voice.

As my brain began remembering what had happened and I opened my eyes to find it wasnt all a bad dream, I saw Sheriden and Carlos.

"hey" I said sitting up on the sofa, someone had put a blanket over me.

"morning honey" Sheriden said

Carlos looked worried.

"what is it?" I asked.

Sheriden sat down next to me as I moved my legs down from the sofa. she held my hand in sympathy, I wish she didn't, I just wanted to forget it all, ignore that it happened.

"Logan has tried to call your cell five times, and he has sent me a bunch of messages asking where you are... He knows your not at the apartment" Carlos said.

"oh... I forgot about Logan, I called him to get your number last night, I didn't tell him anything... I don't want him to know" I said looking at Sheriden, she had promised me last night.

"no one will tell him" Sheriden said.

"what do I do then?" I asked.

"we lie" Sheriden said, "how are you feeling today?" She asked.

"angry... Actually. I would seriously think about cutting their dicks off and ramming it down their throats... Seriously. I just want to blank it out" I said.

Sheriden gave me a hug "I will make you something to eat" she said then got up and walked out to the kitchen.

Carlos took her place on the sofa next to me.

"Sheriden told me what happened... What they did... I'm so sorry savannah" he said.

"its my own fault... I can safely fucking say I won't be doing that again" I said.

"your a silly bitch sav" he said smiling.

"thanks Carlos it means a lot... your still a prick" I smiled.

"thanks... Its good to see that evil smile" he replied.

We stayed silent for a minute enjoying the normalish conversation of insult throwing until my phone rang.

I picked it up, it said LOGIE BEAR on the caller ID, I did smile that such a serious moment in time would revolve around such a silly name that presented itself on my cell phone.

Sheriden walked back in on hearing the phone ring.  
"okay I will call him back in a second before he calls the police thinking you've gone missing but I need to know some things" she said in her more British than American accent. I had never really noticed it before.

"what things" I asked dreading to go through the details of last night again.

"like what's going on with you two, are you a thing or you broken up, obviously I've seen pictures of you hanging out" she said.

I looked at Carlos and smiled, he let out a little laugh.

"nothing was going on and nothing will ever go on, it was just a game we played so that sav could get her picture in the paper and win a date to your party on Friday with me" Carlos said.

I actually found it rather amusing that we had fooled Sheriden. Although I don't think she fully understood why we had made each other look ridiculous in the eyes of the paps judging by her face.

"your coming to my after show party?" She asked.

"that was the plan, fame by association" I said.  
How bizarre that this time yesterday my life was so much more simple.

"that's a shame, you look so much like your sister I would have put you on the actual show if i had met you before savannah" she said then raised an eyebrow "please tell me that isn't the reason you wanted a designer dress?"

I just looked at the floor.

"oh my god..." She said "...so you two technically don't get along" Sheriden added.

"not really. Although I would happily kick the crap out of those bastards from last night for her" he said.

I smiled at Carlos. We actually shared something in common now.

"okay... Give me your phone Mackenzie... Shit sorry, savannah. I will phone Logan" she said mixing me up with my sister.

I handed her my phone, Logan must of picked up straight away

"hi Logan... No its Sheriden" she said calmly. "savannah is fine, she is here with me and James... She is honestly fine, she has a crazy hang over and has been puking her guts up all morning, she had far too much to drink last night and decided to take it out on Carlos, he didn't know what to do with her, so he brought her round here... You can tell Mackenzie that she can pay for the dry cleaning of my Persian rug that is now stained with vomit... I'm not happy Logan" Sheriden said, she sounded pissed off too, she was good at making up bullshit.

Logan must of been satisfied with what Sheriden had told him as the conversation soon changed to the where abouts of James, obviously Logan must of called paisley to see if I was with her and found out that she was in fact at the studio with James already recording some new songs. They chatted about this for a few minutes, sheriden informed logan that she had not seen paisley for a couple of days. Sheriden didn't make an excuse to go, she just let Logan chat. Eventually he must of said good bye to her as she said her goodbyes and hung my phone up.

"all sorted " she declared "come and get some food inside you

Sheriden had put out a ton of fruit, and made me scrambled eggs and made sure that I ate it all.

She filled me with juice, and vitamins and made me feel very welcome.

Her house was amazing, Carlos must spend a fair bit of time here he knew exactly where everything was.

"savannah I've washed your clothes from yesterday, they are in that bag over there" Sheriden said pointing to a paper bag on the kitchen side.

"thanks, I'll probably just chuck them though. I wouldn't wear them again" I said quietly remembering my skirt being pulled up above my waist.

"I thought as much, I've laid some clothes out for you in my room, feel free to see what you can get in to, I think your a little smaller round the waist than me" she said smiling.

the door bell rang "excuse me" she said and walked off to answer the door.

"Carlos, what are you doing tonight?" I asked.

"I was going to hang with some friends, play pool, that kind of thing, but if you want company that's cool, I won't see you on your own" he said smiling.

"thanks I would like that. if you don't mind... I still can't stand you though... But right now I need that" I said just as Logan walked on the kitchen.

"savannah, what the fuck" he said eyeing me up. "Jesus look at you"  
he said grabbing my face and inspecting it

I flinched and almost sent my chair flying." fuck off, get off me" I said panicked, slapping his hand away.

Carlos and Sheriden looked at one another, I bit back on tears that now tried to come back at the thought of being manhandled.

"sav what the fuck went on last night?" Logan asked looking at me then at Carlos.

I didn't say anything.

"what did you do, I swear to God Carlos if you have touched one hair on her head..." Logan shouted, he looked really angry.

Sheriden looked at me, this whole thing was about to fall apart unless I sorted my self out.

I took a breath to stop any tears.  
"fuck off Logan, Jesus your not my dad!... I was pissed alright, you told me last night that kenz wasnt well, so I asked for shit for brains' number... I've got a massive fucking headache, so please shut that hole that is in your fucking face" I said pretending to be my normal feisty self.

"well kenz is fine thanks for asking... Did you take drugs last night?" He hissed back at me and looked at Sheriden.

Sheriden frowned and shook her head.

"drugs... No I didn't take drugs, Logan your an asshole" I spat back.

"something dodgy is going on here... I'm not fucking stupid, what is it?" Logan said looking at Sheriden again who I presumed Logan saw as the adult of the group as Carlos was more immature than me.

"Logan nothing is going on, she got drunk, fell on her ass and called someone to collect her. Give her a break. she is only... How old are savannah?" She asked.

"18... Just" I replied.

Sheriden looked at me, it looked like her heart had broken in two that such an awful thing had happened to me at such a young age.

"where has your hair gone?" Logan asked.

"I cut it out for her, she had fucked it up somehow... Logan to be honest, she is barely not a minor anymore, you and Mackenzie should be taking better care of her out here" she said quietly.

"so now this is my fault? Fan fucking tastic" Logan said.

"sav get dressed, your coming back to mine" he said.

"no she isn't she is staying here" Sheriden said.

"what? Why?" Logan asked,

"because you have let her down Logan I don't think she should stay in that flat on her own" Sheriden clarified, her arguement didn't make much sense even to me let alone Logan who looked completely confused.

"yes... That is why I have just asked her to get dressed and come back to mine Sheriden... Jesus what is wrong with you all?" Logan said.

"okay well ask savannah then? Savannah where would you rather stay here or at Logans?" Sheriden asked me.

I looked at Logan. If I went with him he would bombard me with questions until I cracked. I wasnt capable of that right now.

"I want to stay with Sheriden logues... If that's okay?" I said looking up to Sheriden who now stood behind me with her hand placed gently on my shoulder.

She smiled "its fine honey"

Logan shook his head "Sheriden I don't mean to be rude but you can't just collect random kids off of the street no matter how dire your situation with James is".

"my situation with James has absolutely nothing to do with this Logan, I appreciate your concern but Mackenzie is perfectly safe here" she said.

"savannah... Her name is savannah... Jesus is this what this is about, your using her like you tried to use kenz?" Logan said.

"I'm not using anyone" Sheriden said.

"logues I want to stay, you know what I'm like... Attention seeker, it don't get much better than this for me huh" I said.

"fine... Whatever, kenz went to the salon today despite last night, but she is gonna be pissed when she hears about this." He said.

"well there is nothing to be pissed about, I'm going to see kendall and the baby in a bit, savannah is coming with me" Sheriden said.

"fine" Logan said again "sav call me when you come to your senses" he said then walked out in the direction of the front door.

I looked up at Sheriden, she smiled at me.  
"I will go and get dressed... You sure you don't mind me wearing your stuff" I said.

"no course not... if you need anything just call okay" she said in an overly sweet voice.  
I wasnt used to people talking to me like this.

I found the clothes laid out on the bed. some of it looked very expensive, but I chose the more normal of just denim shorts and a vest top.

I took the clothes in to the bathroom and got changed, I used the toilet and realised the sanitary towel I had in place had fresh blood on it.  
That bastard from last night had really done a number on me.

I got dressed and went down stairs to the kitchen.  
Carlos and Sheriden had obviously been talking about me as the room fell silent.

"Sheriden... I think I might need to go to a doctor" I whispered.

Sheriden and Carlos looked at each other.

"are you still bleeding?" She asked.

I looked at Carlos feeling embarrassed but nodded in response to the question.

"okay, I can phone my doctor to come out here of you want but its a male doctor. Would you be comfy with that?" She asked.

I nodded.

We only had to wait a while for sheridens doctor to arrive, he had a look at the damage and said I would need a couple of stitches in there, I had a small tear.

Sheriden stayed in the spare bed room and did all the talking for me.

Her doctor advised us to go to the clinic for me to get sutured but Sheriden took the doctor outside to chat With him, he then came back in and went through what he was going to do with me.  
a little anaesthetic and a few minutes later he was finished.  
He gave me a prescription for antibiotics. Then spoke to Sheriden again outside the room while I dressed.

I felt better, least I knew I had been seen by someone.

the cunt that rammed his fist inside me before he raped me had caused me so much pain.

Sheriden came back in the room, I guessed the doctor had left.

"I don't understand Sheriden? Both those boys yesterday looked so handsome, why would they need to do things like this?" I said now crying.

"I have no idea honey" she replied. "do you want to come to kendalls with me and see the baby or stay here with Carlos?" She asked.

"how come Carlos is staying here?" I replied.

"well he isn't, but if you didn't fancy coming with me he was going to stay with you, he is the best I can offer I am afraid, James won't be back until this evening" she said smiling.

"Carlos is a douche bag..." I smiled. "I will visit the baby if that's okay" I said.

The day was really good, Sheriden kept me busy the entire time to avoid me from thinking of much.

We spent a few hours around kendalls while she cooed over Ophelia.  
Kendall looked tired, Sheriden offered to look after Ophelia for him for a while so he could get some sleep.

He said no a bunch of times but in the end he agreed and went up his stairs to bed.  
Sheriden enjoyed the time alone with baby Ophelia, she made funny noises at her and fed her, she even had a smile on her face changing dirty diapers.

"I will have to get a bigger car" she mused

"what for?" I asked.

"well to take Ophelia out on trips and things, mine is only two seater isn't it!, plus she isn't allowed on the passenger seat because of the air bag" she said.

I smiled

"what?" She laughed.

"all this is so fucking surreal Sheriden, when was the last time you were normal, do you even remember being normal?" I asked.

Sheriden looked at me, I wasnt sure if I had offended her.  
"what do you mean?" She asked.

"well your saying you want to buy a new car so you can take a friends baby out once in a while... Its surreal that you can just do that. Have that amount of money to do everything you do... That doctor, how did you get him to take care of me after he said go to the clinic?" I asked.

"money... I worked hard to get where I am savannah... You will see that, but money doesn't get you everything you want" she said looking at Ophelia.

"what do you mean I will see that?" I asked confused.

"well if you still decide to go to the after show party on Friday then you will see what I've built and you will see the people that I've had to put up with, tread on, screw over, sleep with, and pretty much shaped my life to fit in with to get to where I am now. But in answer to your question, I don't really remember being normal, all I remember is being a child with a rubbish life" she said.

"I would love your fucking life Sheriden, I think its awesome, I didn't like you before but your actually surprisingly nice" I admitted.

"you speak your mind don't you savannah" she said smiling.

"yeah, most people think I'm nuts, but I like speaking my mind, everyone knows where they stand then" I said.

"I like that about you... Listen this dress savannah... I may have something that interests you at my house" she said and smiled.

"cool" I replied. I sat back and watched TV as she walked around cradling the baby.

**will post more chapters on over the course of the next few days - thanks for reading**


	7. Chapter 7

**sheridens story**  
Kendall was really needing his sleep, I don't think he was going to wake up on his own. Ophelia was awake in my arms just looking at all the new things in her life. I could of stayed watching her for ever but James would soon be home and I needed to get back.

I left savannah watching TV while I went to wake kendall up.

His bedroom looked like a completely new room from the last time I had been in here, for starters it was tidy, and he had completely new furniture kitted throughout.

I sat on the side of his bed and nudged him.

"kendall, sorry but I've got to get going now" I whispered.

He opened his eyes, they were blood shot, he looked worse now than he did before he had a nap.

"hey" he said and sat up on the bed.

"sorry honey, I've got to get going, she might go down for a nap though if you want me to try" I asked looking at the pretty crib that stood in the room.

"yeah that would be great" he said mumbling in a half sleep half awake manner rubbing his hands over his face trying to wake himself up.

I put Ophelia in her crib. She grizzled a bit but soon settled down with the music playing from her mobile above her.

"she will be asleep in no time, she is changed and fed so you should stay there, you look like shit" I whispered.

Kendall rolled his eyes and gave me a dimpled smile.

"I'm knackered. Pais doesn't seem to be able to stop crying, she has baby blues of the excessive kind apparently, but I'm pretty much doing everything on my own. I'm tired Sheri" he whispered so not to disturb Ophelia.

"kendall don't do it on your own, tell pais to get a grip or I will. James called me earlier he seemed to think she was fine" I said.

"yeah she is fine unless its got anything to do with Ophelia, I'm worried she doesn't like her" kendall said.

"don't be ridiculous, its hormones, don't start shouting at her for Christs sake" I said.

Kendall just gave me the look to say he wouldn't.

"are you getting a nanny or anything yet?" I asked.

"no she isn't even a week old yet Sheriden" he said looking shocked that me of all people would want a nanny.

"okay, are you coming to my party next Saturday, it will do you good to get out" I asked.

"yeah I am, we both are actually, pais is really looking forward to it, Mackenzie is looking after Ophelia for us, so all sorted"

"yeah? that's good" I smiled.

"bit different from when you last came up here huh" kendall said as I eyed some of the pictures that hung on the walls.

"yeah...yeah it is...well on that note I best get going anyway." I whispered.

"Sheriden, what's going on with savannah, why is she with you?" He asked.

"oh, she got pissed up last night and tried to get one over on Los, he brought her round to mine... Lucky me" I laughed. "but seriously she is a nice kid, I've got a few tricks up my sleeve for that one" I said.

"you have a good heart Sheriden" kendall said quietly, noticing Ophelia had fallen to sleep.

"get back in to bed and rest, call me tomorrow if you wanna do this again... I don't mind. I love looking after her" I whispered.

kendall smiled at me and I walked out the room clicking the door shut slowly so not to make any noise.

on the way back to bel air I stopped off to the salon for savannah to pick up some of her things from Mackenzies apartment. I went up the tiny stairway and she let me in to her sisters apartment.

The first thought that struck me was how sweet Logan was to put up with staying over here. It was pleasant enough, but I could never spend the night.

I watched from her bedroom doorway as Savannah chucked things in to a bag "how long am i staying for" she asked me.

"until your ready to come back I guess... Savannah I don't want to keep bringing up what happened to you last night, but if you need to talk to anyone about it I hope you know that you can talk to me about anything" I said.

"thanks.. I do know that, I'm okay though, just best not to think about it isn't it" she replied, not making eye contact while she shoved things in a bag.

"savannah... It was horrific what you told me, if it was me I would be a crying wreck, I'm not sure how your even out of the house holding normal conversations" I said.

Savannah looked up and then sat on the edge of her bed next to her bag "if I talk about normal things then its like it didn't happen... Even though it did" she said then broke down in tears. "I want it taken away Sheriden, so I can't remember it... all I can smell is his beer breath right in my face, it won't go away... Why won't it go away" she sobbed.

I moved the bag to one side and sat next to her pulling her in for a hug.

"the smell will go honey, its just the memory, it will fade as each day passes. Just don't ignore it so hard that it eats you from the inside out okay... Your a very strong girl, but this is good savannah, having a cry is good" I soothed.

"I can't get over how fucking stupid I was, Carlos even said it was dangerous. He tried to warn me but I didn't listen, now look what's happened" she sobbed looking at her hands as they shook uncontrollably.

"sometimes we all get told things that we should of listened to, I know Carlos does on a daily basis" I joked, she let out a laugh at her hatred for Carlos

"he isn't all bad" she sniffed with a smile.

I patted her leg as I stood up "no he isn't all that bad... come on let's get back and I will show you a few dresses you can borrow to wear to this party on Saturday... Did you want to dry your eyes and say hi to your sister while we are here. Probably best while she is busy..." I said.

Savannah nodded and wiped her face.

We dumped her bag in my car before entering the salon.

A few mouths flew open as I entered, I was wearing one of James' baseball caps and sunglasses, my long blonde hair framed my shoulders but I was still very noticeable.

"savannah!" Mackenzie almost shouted out, she then spoke in to her clients ear whose hair she was styling and walked up to us "come through to the back guys" she said politely

once in the little back room which was set out like a miniature kitchen Mackenzie changed from her sweet little hairdressing princess.

"what the hell is going on savannah, Logan came down here earlier saying you are staying with Sheriden, what did I tell you about getting mixed up with Carlos... He is a dead beat" she scolded."where the fuck has all your hair gone by the way, I may do it for free sav but it costs me money you know"

"its not as big a deal as Logues is making out kenz, I had too many voddys last night and I regret it, no harm done,I didn't like the hair" savannah lied to her sister.

"what do you mean you didn't like it? why are you staying the night in her house?" Mackenzie said as if I wasnt here.

I decided to butt in before savannah got caught out.  
"Mackenzie, I'm not gonna lie, I thought you had potential, you are beautiful you have a strong character and your determined to succeed at everything you put your mind to, you also rock that hair colour, but just my luck you didn't want anything to do with me, your sister however is just as beautiful, has an even stronger character, and just needs a little kick up the back side to get her determination where it should be... I want her on my books, she is doing more me a favour by staying at my house"

"what do you mean on your books? Savannah cannot afford to do anything like that with you" Mackenzie said.

"trust me with a face like that she doesn't need money... I was actually thinking of going back to my natural colour, how would you feel about fitting me in?" I said trying to enlighten the conversation.

"oh fuck off Sheriden, your not Gwen Stefani, you can't collect girls to just hang around you. First paisley and now my sister just because I refused to do it... Your pathetic" Mackenzie said to me.

"paisley is my friend, i didnt collect her. I guess that's a no to the hair colour then" I said sarcastically.I will be in the car savannah... Nice to see you again Mackenzie" I said as I walked out.

I only had to wait a few minutes before savannah caught up with me in my Mercedes.

She looked upset "all okay" I asked.

"yeah... I guess, she is majorly pissed off with you, I'm sorry about that, if she knew what you had done for me, you would be forever in her debt" savannah said.

I just smiled and drove home.

Once inside the gates of our Bel air estate I noticed James was home already, his truck was in the drive.

Savannah followed me through to the kitchen, James was stood drinking juice, savannah sat on top of the oversized island cabinet, which James frowned at but didn't say anything

"your in trouble" James said with a smile.

"why, what have I done?" I replied giving him a quick kiss as I raided the fridge for strawberries.

"you have pissed Logan off, he came by the studio this morning asking what's going on, I said what you told me to but I don't think he is buying it, " he said still smiling.

"Why are you grinning like a Cheshire cat James?" I asked.

"I can't say... Honeymoon related" he said .

"James... Tell me" I said wrapping my arms around him.

he just shook his head with his amazing smile still on his face.

I almost forgot about savannah sat on my kitchen side, I looked at her and she looked very uncomfortable being in the same room as people that enjoyed physical contact like James and I.

I felt so sorry for her, one night had completely changed her perception of so many things, men, sex, safety, and how she lived her life.

"sorry Savannah" I said breaking contact with James .

"its fine, Jesus don't stop what you do because of me... As Long as James doesn't pull a pocket knife out and ram it to your throat I'm fairly comfy with it all" she said and laughed nervously looking at her feet wiggle in the air as she sat on the counter top.

"how about you get in to your swim wear that you packed and chill out in the pool, you need to take some time out honey" I said.

Savannah looked at me, I don't think she wanted to move anywhere on her own but smiled at me regardless.

"yeah sure, can I go in the hot tub?" She asked.

"Yeah feel free, I will get James to turn it on for you" I smiled as she hopped down off the counter and walked out to where her bags where placed next to the front door.

"I'll just go show her the room, can you turn the hot tub on please" I said giving him a kiss.

"Sheriden are you sure you know what your doing with this one? there's a time and a place... I honestly don't think her head is gonna be interested in what I think you have in mind for her" James said before I left the room.

"what do you have in mind for me? " came a scared voice from behind me.

I turned to see savannah clutching her bag, wide eyes on her.

"nothing but helping you is on my mind savannah, James is a worrier that's all" I said.

"Maybe I should go to Logans" she said.

James stepped forward to help explain but savannah took a step away from him

"savannah, I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you, I will sit down" James said then taking a seat on the counter like savannah had just done a few moments ago. "Sheriden wants to look after you, she has visions of you being something incredible but I think in the circumstances it can wait... I think you have been through too much to worry about what she has to say" he said.

"James!" I moaned at his unhelpful manner.

"no Sheri honestly, I think sav will be better off going back to Logans" he said.

"what do you mean something incredible, I thought you was bull shitting kenz earlier with all that chit chat you gave her... What the fuck is going on, what's the real reason you want me to stay?" She said sounding teary.

James gave me the look to say 'told you so'

"savannah, your sister has a face and a style that I have never seen before, she oozes style, but she really is so boring its untrue... Meeting you though, I feel I can recreate what Mackenzie has on you, you look so alike, basically I want to make your dream come true, I want to make you a star... A catwalk sensation..." I said. Even to me it sounded shallow and heartless talking about this after knowing what she had been through.

A smile crept on her face though.

"serious?" She replied.

"yeah, I have landed a new campaign with Alexander McQueen... Its massive savannah. Like a huge fucking big deal... I... In a perfect world Would like you to be the face of this campaign"

"Alexander McQueen... Are you fucking joking, you want me to model Alexander McQueen clothes? This is insane"

I smiled, she was aware of her fashion knowledge so that filled me with joy.

"yeah, savannah there will be a shit load of money coming your way if you signed on the dotted line for this" I said sweetening the deal.

"Sheriden, this is my dream, and it sucks that those men have tried to ruin my life but James is wrong, I wanna fucking do it" she said, her eyes popping out of her head in excitement.

"excellent, I will sit you down later and we will go through everything together, let's show you up to your room and you can get changed and enjoy that hot tub" I said guiding her towards the stairs and in to the room opposite mine and James'

Normally any guests would be no where near us but I didn't want her getting scared on her own.

I left her in her room to change and went back down to James.

I kissed him, slowly and romantically.

"what's that for?" He smiled

"just Coz I love you, can you ask Logan to come over with Mackenzie, I know savannah is over 18 but I don't want to create a massive divide in us again so its best they heard all this too... James the honeymoon, its not too far away is it, I don't want to worry about the flight being a day long and getting worked up" I said having a little moan. I hated secrets.

"no comment. I'm not telling you" he said walking out in to the direction of the hot tub to turn it on, he returned on his phone, I gather it was Logan that he was talking to seeing as he was doing a lot of sticking up for me.

Logan had changed so much since he had been with Mackenzie, the only time I saw him as his normal cheeky self was when him and paisley would be giggling away at something stupid.

I was glad that he had stopped all the sleeping around though.

James got off the phone, just as I saw savannah go past the window and head towards the hot tub.

"Mackenzie isn't coming, she said its pointless, but Logan is going to swing by, he seems calmer" James said.

"Did you tell him what I'm offering savannah?" I asked

James nodded "Logan says its an amazing opportunity but he can understand the worry that Mackenzie has for her sister... So can I for that matter Sheriden. I know the McQueen contract is great for you but savannah is gonna be so caught up by it all, don't turn her in to another you" he said.

I just looked at him, I think that was the most hurtful thing James had ever said to me in all the time we had known each other.

"you don't like who I am?" I asked him.

James smiled "come here" he said leading me in to the vast entrance of our beautiful home.  
James walked me up to the mirror and stood us both in front of it.

"that girl in the mirror is perfect, I love that girl more than any love song could ever describe, but she wasnt always like this. She got caught up in so many problems because she had no one to look after her and had so many demons in her head... Not every person will turn out as such a beautiful person as that girl in the mirror... That's what I mean Sheri"

I looked at mine and James' reflection in the huge mirror.

"I'm selfish, I do know that. I don't mean to be, I just get carried away with good ideas" I said looking at James kiss my neck in the mirror.

"don't be the people that you hate that's all I'm saying, learn from their mistakes, do it better and look after the people that matter" he said.

"should I tell savannah I've changed my mind?" I whispered.

"if that's what you wished someone would of said to you... Sure go for it." James replied.

I just nodded, not really to agree but to say I understood.

"I'm gonna hide out in your office for a bit, get some things sorted and phone some people, can you keep an eye on savannah... I wouldn't go near her though, not on your own" I said .

"sure" James replied "I've got a few of my own calls to make too... Honeymoon related" he laughed.

"your an ass maslow" I smiled then walked off towards the little office that James had made himself, when I say little it wasn't, it was just filled with so much stuff, books, music, instruments, desk, shelves, more books, computer, printer...so much stuff... I made myself comfy and jotted down things that would make a difference... Hopefully.

I spent just over an hour in that little room on the phone and writing things out, then printing things out. I was happy with what I had done I actually felt good.  
I left the room and the door bell chimed, I could see from the silhouette that it was Logan.

I opened up.

"hey"

"wassup, sorry about this morning princess I forget how your brain works sometimes" Logan said giving me a hug.

"okay, I will take that as a compliment I guess, savannah was in the hot tub last I checked, come through" I said.

"Sheriden... Before we do can I ask you something?" He said whispering.

"honestly Logan I'm going to take care of her I have it all written out..." I tried to explain.

"no... No its not savannah, its paisley, I'm a bit worried about her really" he said.

"Logan she has just had a baby, her hormones are out of whack that's all, I've already spoken to kendall about her today, she just needs to adjust... She will be fine. Don't worry" I reassured him.

"I'm pretty sure kendall doesn't know about this" he said showing me his phone. "Read it" he said.

The text conversation on Logans phone, was between him and paisley.

I began reading, it was dated yesterday.

Me: Reno! I miss your face. I'm allowed out to play for princess party, make sure you and kendall can too, kenz will babysit x

Reno: ok I will ask her, pop round to see Ophelia again sn x.

"I take it princess party means my party?" I asked Logan.

He nodded to say yes "keep reading" he said.

me: gd, will see you sn hopefully x

Reno: not soon enough logues :-( xx

Me: all okay pais? You missing sleep yet :-[ x

Reno: just feel everything is wrong. Not sure I want this as my life. Srry, I'm a miserable bitch aren'

Me: :-( don't be sad pais, everything is right, you will see, you know you can talk to me about anything. Always here for you Reno x

Reno: can I really tell you anything? X x

Me: yeah course, go for it! Your buddy logie bear will cheer you up :-)x

Reno: you remember when kendall told you bout that dream of me and you... I want to do it... For real

Me: hahaha. Course you do, all the girls do, you crack me up x

Reno: not joking. X x x

Me: paisley wtf?

Reno: multimedia message.

I clicked on the media message to see a very clear picture of a pair of breasts... Paisleys breasts.

"Logan what the fuck is going on? I said staring at the boobs on Logans phone.

"just read it Sheriden" he replied.

I carried on reading the text conversation on his phone.

Me: erm pais, that was my phone you sent that to lol

Reno: do you like them? X x x

Me: paisley what's going on in that head of yours today. Are you and kendall okay?

Reno: I don't want to be here anymore, I want to be with you. I know you feel the same. You said as much at your birthday part

Me: pais, you don't know what your saying, think about Ophelia. And I didn't mean what I said like that, I'm so happy with kenz, you know that

Reno: the baby doesn't want to know me, she hates me, all she does is cry. Kendall won't let me go near her. Let's meet up Logan.. Plz x x

Reno: multimedia message.

"you may not want to look at that one" Logan said.

I glared at him and clicked on the message,

"Jesus Christ" I said before Logan took the phone and set it back to the text conversation.

The picture was of paisley pleasuring herself.

"have you two ever hooked up?" I asked him,

"no, never.. I swear, she has just gone mad, look read the rest, I stopped texting her but she just keeps sending me stuff. " he said trying to hand me the phone back.

"I don't want to see anymore Logan" I snapped.

"Sheriden, something is up with her, that is not the Reno I know and love, that is ... "

"tempting?" I finished off his sentence for him.

"no, I'm scared that kenz is gonna see it. I love paisley, I do, but I wouldn't do that Sheri, maybe before kenz but not now that their is a baby..." He said.

"good... Look I dunno what's up with her, but just stay away for now. She has a lot on her plate to adjust to, she doesn't mean any of this" I said pointing to the phone.

"will you talk to her... Don't let her know that I told you anything though" he said.

"I will try... Why is everything always messed up. Do not fuck her Logan." I said

"I'm not going to fuck her, she is my friend, I want to help her... I went to the studio to see James earlier and she... Touched me, like a full on grab, she has honestly gone mental" Logan snapped back at me.

"really? Thats fucked...fine I will talk to her, look let's sort savannah out first okay. Why didn't Mackenzie want to come?" I asked.

"she can't stand you, and she knows that savannah will do anything for the limelight, she called her mom though, you might have a problem with that" Logan said with a smile.

"great! Just what I need, nothing is ever simple with you lot is it" I said as we walked out to the garden.

"savannah Logan is here to say hi" I called over to her as she lay sunning herself on a lounger by the pool.

She got up and wrapped herself tightly in her towel, James appeared from the pool, he got out and looked so God damn delicious. Can't believe I'm about to marry my wannabe Greek God that charmed his way in to my life all those years ago at the airport.  
He was perfect.

Savannah walked up and gave Logan an almighty hug.

"you alright sav, sorry about this morning" Logan said.

"that's okay" she said not wanting to leave his hug.

"Savannah, go and get changed and we will talk through this okay" I said giving her a pat on the shoulder.

Savannah broke away from Logan, who I guess she saw as the one person who would never hurt her that she knew around here, James and I were practically strangers to her.

"James dried himself off then came over to say hi to Logan.

"Alright man" he said.

"yeah you?" Logan replied sounding fed up.

"yeah, got the go ahead for the thing" James said smiling at me.

Logan smiled too. "that was quick" Logan replied.

"oh fucksake, stop talking in riddles around me about the bloody honeymoon" I snapped.

They both laughed at me.

Savannah came back out fully dressed, we all went in to the larger of the reception rooms in the house, this one looked out to the garden, it was one that James would spend hours in on the piano that sat at one side of the room.

"take a seat I said to Logan and savannah who ended up sitting next to each other.

James had gone to get changed.

"right basically, today nothing is getting signed, I want to go through everything with you, then once you and I have agreed on the terms you can sleep on it for a few days, we can invite your mom up to chat it through, see what she thinks also, but generally I just want you to fully understand what is going to happen. Its a shame Mackenzie couldn't be bothered to turn up." I said looking at Logan.

"why is Logan here?" Savannah asked.

"because he is interested in what's best for you, a grown up in your corner that won't just say yes to anything I say" I said looking at savannah.

She nodded."so I'm going to be one of your models?" Savannah then asked.

"technically yes, but there is going to be a lot of restrictions for you. Normally a girl would come to my model management and pay for me to make them big, sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't. That's the risk I guess, but your not paying me. I'm doing this for you, so its going to be my rules on your modelling contract" I stated.

"Sheriden just get to the point, what daft rules have you come up with that are gonna start an arguement in about 5 minutes" Logan said.

I smiled at him "there are no daft rules, Alexander McQueen has approached me to find some one that will show his new range next season, I want savannah to do it, the fashion weeks begin in autumn in New York and will go on to London, Milan and end in Paris in January. I cannot stress how important this contract is for me, and putting someone with little or no experience on the front line of it is risky but will give my company and savannah so much more exposure as the wow factor." I explained.

"so your chucking sav in at the deep end with a load of monsters" Logan said.

Savannah glared at Logan "Logan shut the fuck up, I want this" she said nudging him.

I laughed "I wouldn't say us models were monsters Logan, but it is a complete bitch parade which is why I want to introduce rules for savannah... So being thrown in at the deep end doesn't cause her any...adverse effects" I said as James walked in the room and sat down listening in.

I handed savannah and Logan a list of things I had printed out earlier.

"I'm going to get my lawyer to draw up a contract for you savannah, it will state that you will be tied in to me for 1 year, you cannot and Will not be allowed to subcontract with anyone in that time. in that year you will not model anything other than the McQueen selection you have been assigned to, you will have to take regular drug tests to prove you are not using, you will not be permitted to drink alcohol out in public, you are after all under 21. if I am not able to travel with you or be with you at any show, be it charity, or promotional then you will be assigned someone that will stay with you to be your guardian. If it comes to my attention that you are behaving in a manner that reflects badly on my company or your campaign, or if you test positive for any kind of drug that is not prescription then you will be fired and I will personally make sure you will never work in any fashion industry again... I think that covers most of what's in front of you on the print out" I finished.

"what does subcontract mean?" Savannah asked.

"your not allowed to work for anyone else during that year" James said.

Savannah nodded.  
"how does it sound to you then?" I said to Logan more than savannah, I think she would say yes if I said she had to wear a dog shit necklace for a year, as long as she got to be famous.

"it sounds like you have thought about it, do you do this for all your models, drug tests and stuff?" Logan said.

"no, but I wish someone had of threatened me with stuff like that at the beginning of my career... Its more to keep things on an even keel with you and Mackenzie so I'm not abusing my position with savannah, I want to make sure she is looked after. Savannah you will get shown in to a completly new world, you will see people taking drugs like they are haribos... I was once told they would give me confidence, it doesn't, and I don't think you need any more confidence"

"what does 'Sheriden Lloyd will own visual impact for savannah Davies over the contracted term of 12 months' mean?" Logan said reading through his copy of the print out in his hand.

"basically means I tell her how to look, to be honest... Savannah I know your hair has been an issue the last couple of days, obviously extensions, wigs, glue ons, hair pieces, clip ons will all have a large roll to play being a model... Also the colour" I said as heartfelt as possible, I didn't want her screaming whenever someone came at her with some fake hair that will remind her of last night.

Savannah nodded " I'm okay with the hair, it was just that hair" she said simply.

"savannah there was nothing wrong with your hair, don't let kenz hear you say shit like that" Logan said, obviously not knowing anything of what had taken place in savannahs life in the last 24 hours.

"it was too tight that's all logues" savannah replied looking at the floor.

"okay well I think that's about all of it, so if your happy with everything take a couple of days and we can discuss it with your mom, then get the ball rolling" I said

"hang on, I know I'm going to regret asking this after a relatively good thought out and surprisingly thoughtful pitch, but when you say hair colour... Do you mean what I think your meaning" Logan said.

"I'm not going to lie, Mackenzie and her red hair is breathtaking so yes that is what you think" I said.

"you want me to look like my sister?" savannah said.

"that's the idea, you will stand out and it would be an amazing colour to start a career off with and the autumn fashion shows, obviously I will pay for whatever look I want on you" I said.

"Sheriden... she will look like Mackenzies double, that will be weird" Logan said,

"well I'm sure Mackenzie can dye her hair a different colour if it bothers her?" I clarified.

"but people will think she is Mackenzie" he said.

" don't worry about that, I will be making it very clear that savannah Davies is a well known name... It even sounds amazing doesn't it, savannah Davies..." I mused.

"I'm not comfortable with that" Logan said,

"its only a hair colour Logan, chill out" savannah said.

"logues did you want to stay for something to eat?" I asked.

"no I have to get back actually" he said "but apart from the hair colour all that sounded pretty good, I'm not sure if your mom will go for it though sav"

"I'll see you out Logan" I said as I stood up and made my way out of the room.

once at the front door Logan grabbed my arm "please have a word with paisley, I love Kenzie, kendall is my bud, and Ophelia is gonna be my God daughter. I don't want any of those people to get hurt princess" he whispered.

"I will sort it out don't worry" I said giving him a hug and a kiss.

I said bye to Logan and walked back in to the reception room where I had left James and savannah.

Savannah was on the phone talking to someone about what she had just been told, she was bragging her little heart out, James smiled at me.

I sat down next to him and he held my hand  
"is that her mom" I said quietly to James.

"I'm not sure, she whipped her phone out directly you left the room, she doesn't trust me at all" James whispered to me.

"baby its not you, its just guys in general" I said "you would never hurt anyone"

Savannah hung up her phone. "Is it okay if I go out?" She asked me.

I looked at James, a small smile crept on his lips and I let out a little laugh

"savannah its nice that you asked, but we really don't have any say in where you go, I wouldn't go to any clubs or anything..."

"I was just being polite, I'm not going near a club, I just spoke to Carlos, he wanted to come round to celebrate, he said I could go with him to get some food and we could use your bbq if that's okay?" She said with a true smile on her face. She was so excited with all this news

"yeah that sounds like a fabulous idea, are you and Carlos getting along better now?" I asked

"yeah better but nothing like what your thinking, he fucked my sister, that's gross, and he almost killed Logan... Logan is so nice, he is the big brother I never had" savannah informed us.

I raised my eyebrow at her way of thinking.

The evening went by nicely, Carlos took savannah out and they both came back with far too much food that 4 people would ever eat, Carlos insisted on being chef much to james' dislike but it was nice to sit back and watch Carlos have fun with a girl for a change instead of getting moaned at by one.

separately they were annoying enough, but together they were completely insane. They wouldn't hold normal conversations they would play games.

"try that" Carlos said to savannah as he made some spicy dressing for the bbq.

"fuck off" savannah replied "dare you to add the rest of that bottle then try it" she said.

"what that?" Carlos said pointing at the chilli hot sauce bottle.

Savannah smiled at him as Carlos added the entire bottle. James looked at me and laughed

"a whole teaspoon" she said. Then Carlos downed the spoonful and then started swearing and coughing.

Savannah laughed at him.

After we had eaten outside I invited savannah up to my wardrobe, Carlos accompanied her through his own doing. I opened the large door in my bedroom to the huge walk in wardrobe.

Savannah gasped, she wasn't expecting such a large room behind the door.  
I picked out the outfits that I wasnt intending to wear to the after party for my show.

She had the choice of three.

"oh my God, look at that" she said smiling at the full length white gown.

"you like that one?... Its Christian Dior" I said looking at savannahs pretty little smile as she gazed at the dress.

"I fucking love it" she replied.

"try it on" it will need some adjustments but she had chosen a good style for her.

Carlos stepped out of the walk in wardrobe and closed the door, I helped savannah in to the sleek looking gown, the back plunged deeply,  
For the first time since I had met her she looked elegant.

"its too long" she said standing on tip toes,

"it will be fine, I can pin it and then get it adjusted for you... Your going to look amazing savannah. I think tomorrow we will have a girly day together. What do you think?" I said reaching for my little box of pins.

"sounds amazing... Your so nice Sheriden" she said.

"do you mind if I let Carlos in?" I her compliment she gave me.

"yeah let him in" she replied.

I opened up the door and Carlos poked his head round, he smiled at savannah, but I don't think he was overly impressed, men!

"I need a favour Los, can you pin the dress up just round her feet by about 3inch, there's no way I can bend down like that today, Ophelia is heavy for a little mite" I said.

"I'm no good at stuff like that" Carlos argued.

" just do it Los, It doesn't have to be neat, I just need a guideline to give them when I take the dress in to be adjusted" I moaned

"why pick up the bloody baby if its going to hurt your back Sheriden, I'm not your fucking slave" Carlos complained as he began pinning the dress around savannahs feet.

"Carlos your not my slave your my bitch" I laughed as Carlos looked up at me from his crouched position and poked his tongue out.

"ooh I may have the perfect shoes to go with that" I said walking out of the wardrobe and in to my bedroom.

I had some gorgeous silver sparkly Jimmy choo heels that would look incredible, I opened up the large oak drawers under my bed.

I had so many shoes it was ridiculous. I could hear Carlos giggling away to himself in my wardrobe, I'm pretty sure I heard a snort come out of savannah too.

I looked on the other side of the bed and finally found the shoes, I looked at them, they looked brand new, I had only worn them once. funnily enough it was to kendalls 21st birthday party I had teamed them up with a Calvin Klein black number.

As I sat on the floor and closed up my under bed shoe drawer I could still hear Carlos and savannah in fits of giggles.  
He best not be ruining my dresses.

I walked back over to my walk in wardrobe and was greeted by savannah who still stood in the same spot, her dress not pinned at all, but Carlos the complete idiot had squeezed himself somehow in to one of my dresses I had hung up

"helloooo... I'm Sheriden Lloyd" he said in a squeeky voice then burst out laughing. Savannah was in hysterics.

he looked absolutely ridiculous, he had a very ruffled black dress on him, the front was all gaping as the zip at the back couldn't be done up.

I did have a laugh at him, he was such a goofball

"she dared me to do it" Carlos said still laughing.

"oh Sheriden pass me my phone from my pocket, this is priceless" savannah said.

I got her phone from her pile of clothes and she took a picture of Carlos.

"Carlos get the fuck out of my dress" I said still laughing.

"Carlos I'm putting it on twitter" savannah said crying with laughter.

"don't you fucking dare" Carlos said struggling to get his legs out of the dress

"whoops too late" she said smiling.

I now laughed my head off "gutted Carlos, that backfired for you"

I sat on the floor then pinned the dress myself and helped savannah out of it after Carlos had left the room again.

"did you really put it on twitter?" I asked her.

"yeah look", she showed me her phone, the caption read 'helloooo my name is Sheriden Lloyd' under the photo, she had tagged Carlos and myself in it.

"you don't mind me putting you in it do you... I get carried away with having fun sometimes... Sorry" she said.

"don't be sorry, its funny, I don't mind stuff like that. Tag away savannah. Its good that people see you are in the fold with us, you have to think publicity all the time, but be careful on twitter... Stuff like that is fine though, James will find it hilarious, you should tag him in it too" I said trying to find a way of annoying as many rushers as possible.

James and I left Carlos and savannah playing some stupid game on ps3 and went to bed.

"how is it? Bad today?" James asked as he saw me give my achy back a rub.

"yeah twinges a bit, it will be okay, the docs know what they are doing pumping me full of shit" I smiled.

"Carlos said its because you were stood with Ophelia for too long Sheri" James said with his I know everything look.

I sat next to James on the bed "Carlos shouldn't be telling tales on me, I was just helping kendall out while he caught up on some sleep" I replied.

"well just don't over do it, you will be so pissed off if you have trouble walking down that isle in 3 weeks... Do you want a little massage?" He said softly, letting me know I wasn't in too much trouble with him.

"I'm not going to say no to a massage" I said sweeping my blonde hair to one side and turning my back towards him as he lay his hands on me. "3 weeks baby... Its insane, I can't wait!"

James ran his hands under my top along the base of my spine, his fingers felt warm, and he knew exactly where to put them to ease my discomfort.

"I can't wait either" he replied taking my vest night top off and kissing along my shoulder blades, his hands returned to my tender spot on my spine, the mixture of his touch and his kisses sent goose bumps rising over my body

"how does that feel?" He said inbetween kisses that now travelled up to the back of my neck.

"pretty damn good actually" I replied as I turned my head to kiss him on the lips.  
James ran a finger along my cheek and gently layed me down on my back on the bed.

He kissed along my breasts as I ran my fingers through his hair.

"I love you" I whispered in a staggered breath as he blew my mind with his sexual presence.

"I love you too" he replied as his hands ran lower, he seemed so turned on, I looked at his gorgeous body as he kissed all along mine, his tanned skin was perfect, his muscles so pleasing to my eyes, as he kissed just below my belly button he looked up at me, his beautiful brown eyes glinted with a smile.

In his turned on haste he tried to gently pull my lace underwear down but he couldn't quite manage it so he just ripped them.

"James!" I half moaned and half laughed.

Again he looked up at me with his smiling eyes.

I smiled at him and he stood up and took what was left of his clothes from the day off, his shorts landed in the floor as did my ripped underwear as he pulled them from under me and climbed on my body.

I felt him inside me, he was so hard. He was slow and gentle. This was the unspoken rule when he knew my back was bad, if Carlos hadn't of mentioned anything I would if probably been treated to a hard love making session on the floor.

James kissed me slowly to match his rhythm inside me, his tongue danced with mine inside our mouths.

My heart pounded against his as he lay on top of me. his breath on my face was cool and sweet, I loved it.

I ran one of my hands along his shoulder, it felt so hard and strong. James' body turned me on so much, it always had.

As he made me climax I gently tugged on his hair with my enjoyment. James soon made one of my favorites noises that came out of him as he too came.

He lay on me for a while catching his breath.

"that was a good massage" I smiled at him as he looked me in the eye.

he laughed and raised an eyebrow as he kissed my lips and gently lifted himself off me.

I pulled my top back on and layed on,the bed next to him.

"you alright?" He asked.

"am now" I smiled at him

Again he laughed "Sheri... I love you so much" he said still smiling.

"good, Coz I'm so addicted to you maslow" I replied.

"Sheri... If I tell you something can you promise to not fly off the handle" he said now sitting up.

I smiled "I promise"

"Sheri, just before I came home... Paisley tried to kiss me" he said.  
I shot straight up from the bed

"I thought you were going to say something about the honeymoon? Fuck... What the fuck is going on?... Did you kiss her?"

"no! she was stood next to me leaning over the piano, I changed a lyric in the song and her face came in so close, she was giving it all the eye contact... I honestly don't think I said anything that she would of thought that I wanted to kiss her... I was just reading the song... I swear... You know me Sheriden, I love you so much" he said looking sad.

I sighed "fucking paisley, what is the matter with her! Has she text you?" I asked him.

"text? No" he replied.

"she has been texting Logan, it started yesterday, she sent him some filthy pictures to, asked to meet up... He thinks she has gone mental, he said she is not paisley any more... He is her best friend, I guess he would notice... I don't know"

"she seemed normal to me up until then, that's why I was home early." James said.

I snuggled up to him as we both lay back on the pillows.

"I will talk to her tomorrow" I said.

We talked for a while longer before falling to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**sheridens story**  
The next morning I woke up and went downstairs, Carlos was in the kitchen.

"did you stay over?" I asked him as I poured out some cereal.

"yeah sav fell asleep on the sofa so I did the same, she didn't want to go to bed... Do you think she is gonna be okay? "

"I don't know los'. she is hiding her feelings behind her toughness I think, but she just wants to forget it happened" I replied.

"I can't believe it happened to her... She is a nice girl you know, fucked in the head but she is funny, its tragic... What did the doctor say when he saw her, surely he must of known what had happened"

"yeah he knew what had happened, and I didn't deny it, he said that she should be tested for pregnancy and any sexual infections, but she should see a professional to talk it through. He said that we have to drum it in to her that it was not her fault" I replied what the doctor had told me.

"has she been tested?" Carlos asked.

"no she told me when I took her hair out that both of those bastards wore condoms, the one that... Hurt her chucked his at her afterwards. Carlos when your with her don't drink beer. All she can smell at the moment is that guys beer breath, so just warning you okay, things like that can set memories off" I said.

"yeah she said about the smell last night" Carlos said sounding upset.

"she's talking to you about it? That's good, let her talk" I reassured him.

"yeah she just burst in to tears, one minute she was laughing, the next crying, its alright for you, you could hug her but I didn't want to touch her, she gets funny if I try and shys away. It scares me I dont want her thinking I'm trying it on" he said looking at the kitchen counter.

"Los she likes you, she knows your a good guy, she is exactly the same with James, if not worse, least she will stay alone with you in the room... Do you have a crush on her?" I said sceptically.

"no. She is nice, and she looks like kenz... Like proper hot, but no she is too ... loud I guess, I don't fancy her, she swears too much too. It puts me off. But she is a fun friend... And it pisses Kenzie off which is always a bonus" he said smiling

"Mackenzie is a little fire cracker isn't she" I said.

"yup... Grade A bitch" Carlos replied.

"Carlos I'm hoping to take savannah to Evans today if she feels up for it and get her hair done... She is dying it red like Mackenzie, its my doing so when you see her and you get filled with whatever rage kenz fills you with, please remember that it is savannah under the hair" I said softly.

"yeah she warned me about the hair, I'm cool with it, her and Mackenzie are completely different, I'm not dumb enough to take anything out on her" he replied.

"cool, you want a coffee?" I asked hearing footsteps coming near the kitchen.

"no I'm fine thanks, I'm gonna get going soon, tell her to call me if she wants to hang out" Carlos said as James walked in to the kitchen.

James gave me a kiss on the forehead then stole the cartoon of juice that Carlos had next to him.

"you in the studio today again?" Carlos asked him frowning at his lost juice.

"yeah, need to get pais back out there before people forget how talented she is" James replied.

He didn't look happy, usually he loved his part time job being paisleys producer.

I smiled at him, I knew he wouldn't take advantage of paisley. He loved me so much. Too much if anything.  
Carlos left and James kissed me slowly on the lips.

"your horny this morning maslow" I accused.

"I'm always horny Lloyd" he answered as he slipped a hand up my top feeling my breasts.

I bit my bottom lip as I enjoyed his touch.  
"your looking very fucking sexy today Sheri" he said now lifting the top up and kissing along my breast then, gently sucking on my nipple.

I smiled at him, I loved how he worked himself up in to a little horn fest. I tilted his chin up with my thumb and gave him my puppy dog eyes ."maslow its bad news in afraid... I got my period this morning"

James rolled his head back in disappointment "period smeriod... I can work round that" he bounced back saying.

"James your disgusting, you know that don't you... And before you even ask, no you are not fucking my ass hole!"

James just grinned away at me like a Cheshire cat. He was absolutely pure filth. His mother would be ashamed of him if she knew the real person that he was. And what he liked doing to me.

James gave me his own little puppy dog eyes "I guess there is only one last option then Sheri" he grinned and took me by the wrist in to the laundry room just in case savannah walked in to the kitchen.

I rolled my eyes at my filthy little maslow before kneeling down and unzipping his pants.

James had gone for the porn star look lately in his trimming habits of his down stairs region. I didn't have a problem with that though. His cock was big, and he liked to watch me take as much of it in my mouth as humanly possible.

James leant back to watch me give him oral pleasure, he once made me film him doing me so that he could watch himself pleasuring me.  
He was so kinky it was untrue, definitely not the simple minded innocent James diamond that he played on TV... It did make me laugh that show.

I gave James a good little show licking and sucking his cock but he started tugging at my top  
"take this off" he whispered in his sexy little whisper.

I knew then of course that my mouth was no longer required and I would need a shower in about five minutes.

Filth... But I loved it.

The morning went by, I had swapped cars with James so I could take Ophelia out, savannah came with me, she seemed happy to.

I approached the subject of paisley to kendall, he seemed happier today. I presumed he had sex with her, as he mentioned not getting enough sleep but of the good variety, then said paisleys body clock is fucked. And said he found her cleaning the house at three in the morning.

To give her credit, the place looked amazing. I offered to let him rest for an hour or two and took Ophelia for a little stroll down the beach with savannah. I loved every second.

She was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. She meant the world to me, I decided to visit James and paisley at the studio and see for myself what was going on with pais.

Savannah and I walked in from the car with Ophelia in her pram.

Naturally any one that was in the studio came and had a look at the baby.

I sighed as people said how lovely she was, my heart ached away wanting so badly for her to be mine... But this was as good as it was going to get I reminded my self, so to cheer up and not ruin it by being miserable.

I walked in to the booth where James was and waved at him from behind the glass. He held up his hand to say five minutes.

Paisley smiled at me and savannah then noticed I had the pram and frowned slightly, I was expecting to get moaned at for letting kendall get out of fatherly duties but when she came out of her booth she said hi to savannah and I but didn't so much as glance at her baby.

James ushered us all in to the stage rehearsal, there was a tiny table and chairs for us all to sit on at the back of the room

James gave me the look to say all was not well.

Paisley gabbered on to savannah about anything and everything, she seemed very over excited, like a child on a sugar rush.

I eventually had enough and decided to get Ophelia out of the pram and hand her to her mother.

"here you go pais, you must be missing her so much" I said handing Ophelia to her.

"no you enjoy her, I'm not really bonding at all" she said with out a care in the world.

"really? Well you will, just give it time, here you go" I said handing her the baby.

"no honestly, its fine. What are you wearing to your after party Sheriden, I have been looking at some gorgeous dresses, but I think I might go for something a bit racy. I've hardly been eating to get back in to shape. I'm hoping to get back in to my old stuff soon" she replied.

I looked at James, his face was serious.

"pais is everything okay" savannah asked.

"course it is kenz" paisley replied.

savannah laughed "I'm sav silly" she chuckled.

Paisley looked hard at savannah, she was sat next to her in a well lit room, there was no way she could of mistaken them surely.

"stop fucking about, Logan is still going to the party is he? I miss him, he is my piece of heaven" she replied dreamily.

"paisley that is savannah, Mackenzie has red hair remember" James said.

Paisley looked at James like he was the devil.

"why are you doing this again?" She said to James.

"what am I doing paisley?" James asked calmly.

"trying to trick me, all day you have.. He has just been playing tricks all day.. ITS DRIVING ME FUCKING CRAZY JAMES" she shouted.

Ophelia started crying at the loud noise.

I cradled her in my arms trying to sooth her.

"maybe we should get you home pais if your not feeling great" savannah said.

"I'm fine sav" she said as calmly as nothing had happened then noticed the baby crying and stood up and took her from me.

She put Ophelia in the pram and rocked her.

She then sat down. "What are you wearing to the party Sheriden?" She asked me.

"sorry I've got to go, Ophelia will need feeding soon, I will see you both later" I said and dashed out of the room with the pram.

"Sheriden wait up" I heard savannah call but I just kept on walking.

I strapped in Ophelia to her baby seat and sat in the front waiting for savannah.

She came out a few seconds after.

"what's going on Sheriden? Is paisley on drugs?" She asked, I just burst in to tears.

"hey come on... Don't fall apart on me Sheriden I need you, your the only thing keeping me going" she said now starting to cry.

we had a hug until my tears stopped. I started the engine and drove back to kendalls.

He was still in bed, I did the same as yesterday and left savannah downstairs but this time she had Ophelia.

"kendall wake up" I said nudging his leg as he slept fully clothed on top of the covers.

"hey, that went quick" he said sleepily as he woke up.

"I came back early, kendall... I've just been to the studio. Paisley is ... She isn't herself kendall... " I said

"she is just finding it hard with the baby that's all, she will be okay, she just needs to sleep, I can't remember the last time she slept properly" he yawned.

"kendall I'm going to level with you, she isn't well honey, she isn't her self at all, she seems so confused" I said.

"really?...well...I don't mean to be tactless Sheri but last night we had sex for the first time in four months, she begged me,she didn't seem normal but she seemed to be fine while she was doing all these things to me, I think she is worried I don't find her attractive any more she was making a big effort to please me, a lot of it was... Different, I mean we are, well you know what we are like but she was different, maybe she its just evaluating her life or something? She will be okay" kendall said.

"she is not okay, she needs to see someone... A doctor, has she been seen by anyone since the birth?" I said, now getting frantic as kendall wasnt taking this seriously.

"yeah course she has, they come visit and check the baby over and stuff, all is fine Sheriden... She is just tired.

"no she isn't, get up!" I demanded.

"fucksake Sheriden, don't go off the deep end" he moaned.

I made him go down stairs.

"savannah tell kendall what has just happened because he seems to think his girlfriend is just tired." I snapped at savannah.

"erm well she thought I was my sister, then she didn't want anything to do with the baby, she shouted at James saying he was playing tricks on her then just kind of forgot it all again... It was weird. She honestly thought I was Mackenzie, she was asking about Logan and stuff" savannah finished.

"yeah about Logan, she is texting him inappropriate things, and she tried to kiss James yesterday... Kendall she is not right, I won't have Ophelia put in danger like this!" I said.

kendall stood there for a minute taking all this news in.

he took Ophelia from savannah and sat down. He smiled at her and layed her against his chest in his arms.

"she asked me yesterday where Ryan was" kendall said in almost a whisper.

"Ryan? Her ex Ryan?" I asked confused.

"yeah, she said she heard him in the kitchen as clear as day. he apparently asked her if she had seen his shoes" kendall said.

"his shoes? What? Is she meeting up with him?" I asked now even more confused.

"no... I was sat here, paisley was there" he pointed to where savannah was sat "and she just called out 'probably in the hall ry', I asked her what was that all about, she said where has Ryan gone? I actually looked for him, she was so Convinced" kendall said narrowing his eyes trying to figure it all out.

"kendall she isn't well. She has been sending Logan pictures of herself... Personal pictures" I said.

"what?" Savannah said shocked.

"I'm trusting you to not tell your sister, Logan is just as worried as the rest of us savannah" I said forgetting for a minute her relationship with Logan. But savannah nodded

"what kind of pictures?" Kendall asked.

"naked ones, the ones I saw were of her boobs and one ... Well she was touching herself" I said quickly.

Kendall didn't say anything for a minute, he looked like he might cry.

"why?" He finally said.

"I don't know honey, we need to get her seen though, she isn't right" I said

"its Post natal depression maybe" kendall said.

"sounds more like bipolar to me, she was up and down like a fucking kite" savannah said with very little tact.

"what? No it doesn't!" I snapped at savannah. "she is finding a way to cope with a big change kendall that's all" I said frowning at savannah.

"bipolar? What she is losing the plot?" Kendall said looking at me with fear in his eyes.

"kendall I'm sure its not bipolar. She needs to be seen by a doctor though okay" I said, kendall nodded.

"did you want me to call James to bring her home?" I said sitting next to him on his sofa.

Again he nodded.

I called James and he said he would be here soon, he sounded exhausted.

"this can't be happening" kendall said.

"everything will be fine... I promise" I said running my hand on his shoulder.

savannah looked at us both, I could see her mind ticking away with idiotic ideas.

"savannah we are close friends, so don't start thinking anything else" I said pissed off.

"that's not what I was thinking really... Well I guess it was. It was more that if paisley has gone mental you could hook back up with kendall and have an instant baby... Problem solved" she said.

"Jesus can you shut her the fuck up" kendall said.

I glared at savannah, her speaking her mind needed to learn a time and a place.

"sorry" she said quietly.

"did you want me to look after Ophelia while you see someone or I could go with paisley?" I said to kendall.

"I'm not sure let's see what happens I guess. can you take her while I phone the midwife... I guess that's who I call is it? He asked.

"I would think so honey, she will tell you what to do" I said taking Ophelia from him.

Kendall went in to the kitchen and closed the door, I could hear a mumbled conversation.

"bipolar savannah?... Jesus, that didn't help did it?" I moaned at her quietly.

"I'm sorry but it does sound like that doesn't it" she said.

I took my gaze from savannah and looked in to the beautiful Babys eyes that I held in my arms, she had kendalls eyes, more very light blue than his green ones but they were definately his, she had all this black hair on her head, she was going to be so gorgeous.

Kendall came out of the kitchen.

"she has told us to go to the doctors, she seemed concerned, she said it sounds like a severe postnatal depression, I can't remember what she called it" kendall started crying.

"hey come on kendall" I said reaching my hand out for his, there wasnt much I could do with the baby in my arms.

"she said not to alarm me but said not to leave pais on her own, she is a suicide risk and may hurt the baby" he said sobbing.

"oh my God" I said. "well she is going to get sorted now we know there is a problem babe" I said.

Kendall broke down he sat on the sofa next to me and held his head in his hands.

"do you want me to take the baby?" Savannah said.

"Yeah please" I replied as savannah came towards me and took Ophelia, I then took the mess that was kendall and held him in my arms.

"why does shit always happen to me Sheriden, why is life so fucking cruel" he cried.

My phone rang it was James.

"hey its me, she has gone skitzo, I'm gonna have to drag her out the car can you open the frontdoor?" He said sounding flustered.

"sure" I replied getting up. I hung the phone up.

"she is here kendall, James says there is a problem" I said looking worried.

I opened the front door to see James trying to carry paisley in, her legs were kicking and she was screaming her head off, James held her around the waist with her arms trapped in. She did not want to come in the house.

"you fucking Dick, get off me... Get the fuck off me" she screamed as James got inside the house, I shut the door.

"sorry I can't deal with this" savannah said and went up the stairs with the baby.

"SHERIDEN GET THIS CUNT OFF ME" paisley screamed. James let go and paisley fell to the floor.

"pais... Come on, shall we sit down, look kendall is here he is worried about you just like all of us are" I soothed.

She didn't want to go near kendall.

"pais baby, calm down... I love you so much paisley" kendall said with tears running down his face. He knelt on the floor next to her.

Her hair looked wild, Christ knows how James drove the car with her like that.

"I don't love you. Leave me alone!" Paisley said.

"baby your not well, we will get you better" kendall said ignoring the hurtful words he was hearing.

Ophelia began crying upstairs. This made paisley even more agitated.

"shut that fucking baby up... I've had enough of it" was all she said in reply.

"paisley your scaring me" kendall said looking at her, trying to plead with her eyes to be normal again to see some part of the person he was in love with.

paisley covered her ears up with her hands trying to block out the baby crying.

"paisley please... Calm down, its only Ophelia, our beautiful baby. She needs you." Kendall said.

"Ophelia drowned in the river" paisley replied.

"what? Christs sake pais please talk some fucking sense" kendall said getting angry.

"she is talking about the play ... Hamlet, Ophelia did drown in a river" James said quietly.

"you can't take the sense I speak kendall... The baby isn't even yours, she... it is Logans" paisley said.

Kendall took a minute to take in what paisley was saying.

He looked at me "she is yours kendall, she looks like you, don't listen to her she isn't well" I said.

"I know she is mine" kendall said.

"paisley, let's get you some help, do you want to get up and we can go and talk to some people about what's happening" kendall said.

"I'm not going anywhere with you, I can't stand you... James fucked me. He is so much better than you" she said.

Everyone looked at James "well obviously I didn't. Spent all fucking day trying to keep her happy, she has been driving me fucking crazy... I draw the line. I've had enough of her" James said.

"well screw you James" paisley said laughing "why is this here?" She said looking at a pile of clean laundry folded on the arm of the sofa. She was starting to do the sugar overload state again, she would flit from one train of thought to the next.

She stood up, "I spent all day cleaning the fucking house, NOW LOOK AT IT! What's the point... What's the fucking point" she screamed then started on a rampage of knocking stuff over, completely trashing the place.

I moved out of the way. 3 weeks to my wedding, I was not getting hurt.

"paisley! Stop it" kendall said grabbing her wrist, but she bit him then picked up a large shard of glass that had been broken in her temper.

"fucksake pais... Baby your sick, listen to me" kendall tried to reason

I had no clue if paisley wanted use that on him or her self, but lucky for them both, savannah had seen enough from the top of the stairs, and came from behind paisley and pulled her arms behind her back and kicked her in the Back of the knees so she fell to the floor. Once on the ground savannah then sat on top of her restraining her arms still. Paisley couldn't move an inch although she was screaming blue murder. Kendall took the glass away.

"what do we do?" Kendall said looking at me.

"you phone a fucking ambulance kendall" savannah said.

"where is Ophelia?" I asked savannah.

"she is in her crib" she replied struggling to stay on top of paisley

James phoned the ambulance, once they arrived they sedated paisley with God knows what.

Kendall went with her leaving me with a key to his house that I had from this morning and the small task of looking after Ophelia. He said he would call me.

James, savannah and I sat in kendalls living room for a while in silence.

"you did well savannah" I said after a while.

"I just couldn't take it anymore, I wish I had of done something like that the other night" she said.

"its not your fault savannah. They would of done it to someone that night" I said trying to clear her of blame.

"do you think they are still doing it... To other girls?" She asked.

"I don't know honey... Let's get back to bel air shall we?" I said giving James a pat on the knee.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't of lost my cool, she was just driving me insane all morning, I've been trying to get her home since she got there" James said.

"don't worry about it baby. You did what you had to do." I said.

"I'll get Ophelia" James said then walked up stairs.

"Sheriden, is it okay if you take me to Logans? Kenz will finish work soon, I would like to hang out with her for a bit... With all this going on, my business with you will be overshadowed" she said.

"Yeah sure... Call him first make sure he is home" I replied filling up the baby bag with essentials.

James put Ophelia in the car seat in the back of his truck I was driving. He gave her a little kiss. My heart fell to pieces.

He looked at me "don't start crying Sheri... Please" he said giving me a hug.

I took a deep breath and nodded to say I'm good.

Savannah and I got in the truck, James waved us off before he got in to my car and made his way home.

"Logan was home I take it?" I said to savannah.

"yeah he got in about an hour ago, I didn't say what had happened. I'm not sure how he will take it" she said, her voice shaking like she might cry.

"you okay?" I asked savannah.

she just nodded. She looked on edge.

We drove the rest of the way to Logans in silence. I parked up and got out, unclipped the baby car seat from the back, and walked towards the front door with savannah.  
Logan opened up before we reached it.

"hey I will carry her, she is too heavy for you princess" Logan said taking the car seat from me and walking in the house.

Savannah and I followed him in to his once again gorgeous kitchen, Logan placed Ophelia on the table, he rocked her in the car seat, she was already asleep from the car journey here.

"how come you are allowed to babysit so soon" Logan asked.

I looked at savannah, savannah burst in to tears and buried herself in Logan.

"hey... What's happened? He said softly as he hugged her.

Savannah cried so hard in to him, I think everything had got on top of her.

"princess?" Logan said asking for an explanation.

I didn't know where to begin and began crying.

"come here" Logan said as he pulled me in alongside savannah to have a good cry on him.

"logues and his girls huh" Logan chuckled.

After a few minutes when i had calmed down, savannah was still going strong, she was a complete wreck, shaking all over, she wasn't even properly crying, she just had odd noises coming out of her mouth.  
She was so damaged. I felt helpless for her.

"I take it seeing as we have a tiny guest that you spoke to pais? What did she say?" Logan whispered to me as he hugged savannah and looked at Ophelia sleeping through all this drama, he swayed from side to side as savannahs face was embedded in his chest. he played the big brother role very well.

"she is very ill Logan, savannah just had to tackle and restrain her until a paramedic knocked her out with drugs. Kendall went with her to hospital. Its apparently some severe form of depression. They will be able to treat her easily I expect. Its just all a such a shock what just happened. She was screaming and knocking things over... "

"shit really? Its so messed up, it must of been bad for sav to get like this, she is one tough cookie to crack" logan said to me, then gave savannah a caring kiss on the forehead.

I saw then what a little piece of logans life was like, i could just see him snuggled up with mackenzie, having savannah stay at weekends. He must love the little family life he has here in LA, to make up for the one so far away from his real family in Texas. It must be nice, and worth the while in spending the night in that tiny apartment.

"hey sav, its okay. They will sort pais out... They have to" Logan said to savannah as she howled in to him.

"its not paisley!" savannah screamed in to his shirt. I didn't know weather to let her tell him about what happened to her or not. Savannah was a complete mess.

"what is it then sav? you haven't fucked Carlos have you?" Logan said in a disappointed way.

Savannah pulled her head from Logans chest and looked up at him, her face was a mess, her eyes so red and puffy from crying.

Savannah looked at me "I need to tell him... I need to tell someone that knows me... " she blubbed.

I nodded. "okay honey, do you want me to stay?" I asked.

"please" she said.

Logan looked at savannah "is this about the other night? What did Carlos do?" Logan said.

Savannah just cried again.

"Logan Carlos didn't do anything, maybe we should sit down and I will help explain everything..." I said.

I got savannah a glass of water. At least if she was drinking that she couldn't cry. We sat at the table in Logans beautiful kitchen.

"Logan, savannah had got her self mixed in to some dodgy things. its not my place to say, but it resulted in her being ... Being raped, by two men" I said softly so as not to start savannah off crying again.

"no?!" Was all Logan replied as he looked at savannah as she held the glass of water with her trembling hands.

"she was attacked at the back of a night club, she phoned Carlos to get her. to ... I don't know, to help, he brought her to me, she didn't want the police involved or medical attention... She did see my doctor the next day though" I said.

"savannah... Oh my God" Logan said still staring at her in shock.

"I'm sorry" she said before tears ran down her face again.

"its not your fault savannah" I said as Logan got up from his chair and hugged the life out of his girlfriends sister.

"she has lost her faith in men understandably, she treads with Caution now. So bare that in mind next time you grab her round the face" I said.

I think the relief on savannahs face that someone she did know and trust now knew her pain, shone through as she once again broke down in tears on Logans shoulder.

"its gonna be okay... I won't let any one hurt you again sav, I promise" Logan said pulling her head from his chest and making eye contact with her to prove he meant what he was saying.

"I best be getting back with this little one, hopefully her daddy will phone soon with some news" I said picking up the handle of the car seat Ophelia slept in.

"princess I will lift her. Sav I will be back in a sec okay" Logan said to the trembling savannah.

She nodded and tried to take a sip from her water.

"I'll see you later savannah...? " I said.

"yeah I will be back, I just needed to get this out" she said in a teary voice.

I nodded and walked out with Logan to the truck.

"Jesus Sheriden... You should of told me... I can't believe it..." Logan said handing me the baby to clip her in to the back seat.

"I'm sorry, she asked me not to say, and she needed a few days to get her head straight. If she doesn't want to tell Mackenzie don't force her... Okay. The entire modelling thing was just a happy accident. Its the only thing that's putting a smile on her face" I said to Logan.

He nodded.

"I will call you when I have news on pais, she was insane, she said that Ophelia was yours, she said she had sex with James, she said she didn't love kendall... I really hope its nothing too serious that can't be fixed" I relayed the events to Logan.

"she said what? Fucks sake! she was odd this morning, she text me some normal things and then just went strange again. She told me she didn't love kendall too... but Ophelia is not mine! I hope there is no confusion in that" he said.

"course there isn't, she looks so much like kendall its untrue" I said.

"I'll drop sav off later... She can have dinner with me and kenz" Logan said rubbing his head.

"I think Carlos is picking her up from what I hear, they have struck up a funny little friendship" I sighed.

"yeah I saw Carlos wearing a dress on twitter... I will try and smooth it over with kenz, she hates Carlos still so much" he mused.

"call you later logues" I said getting in to the truck.

He waved me off as I left his driveway.


	9. Chapter 9

**savannahs story**  
Logan walked back in to the kitchen where he had left me.

"did you want Kenzie to know?" He asked.

I shook my head. "just you... Please" I said.

"okay... Well I've got some Ben and jerrys in the freezer that has your name written on is sav... " he said with a smile.

"your great you know that don't you" I sniffed at him.

"yeah I do know that actually, come on... There is nothing I can do that will make any of it better but I can fill you up with ice cream" he said still smiling.

"so paisley has gone completely bonkers logues... What's going to happen?" I asked him.

"I'm not sure, just have to wait and see. Sheriden said that Carlos is taking you back to bel air... You sure you don't want to stay here with us. Its your home too while you are staying here in LA" he said.

"I know, Kenzie tells me pretty much the same thing. I like staying with Sheriden though, she is really nice. I was meant to be having a girly day with her today but pais has thrown a spanner in the works. Maybe kenz could do my hair?" I said.

"maybe, she isn't over the moon about all this modelling stuff but I can have a word with her, Sheriden said it was the only thing keeping a smile on your face" Logan said handing me the tub of Ben and jerrys and a spoon.

"thanks... Yeah, yeah I'm so up for doing it" I said dreaming away of what the next twelve months of my life might hold.

"sav... You and Carlos?" Logan said as a question.

I shook my head "nope, just buddys... I'm off men for a while logues" I said dipping my spoon in the ice cream.

"good... As long as he knows that" Logan replied.

"I might text him actually, is it okay if he wants to hang out here... Kenz didn't mind too much before did she?" I asked.

"yeah go for it, she did mind but its two against one now huh" Logan smiled "she will be home in a couple of hours. Text her if she will do your hair then she can bring some of her kit home with her" he finished.

I did text her, while I waited for a reply I called Carlos he said he will be round soon, he was just running a few errands.  
I washed my face and applied some of my sisters make up to help disguise my cried out face. Once back down in the kitchen Carlos had arrived. He was leaning on the counter.

The room fell silent  
"the whole point of me letting Logan know was to avoid silences like this" I said knowing they had just been talking about me.

"sorry... He asked what happened, I thought I would spare you going through the story again" Carlos said.

"oh okay... Thanks. What do you wanna do then?" I asked him.

"well I was gonna beat your ass at pool but Logans just told me he didn't get a new table after the fire" Carlos said.

"oh... I spose I should of come up with a plan before inviting you round" I replied.

"Na your fine, we could go out. Bowling or go karting... Paintball has just re opened. You could let off some steam" Carlos said giving Logan a side ways glance to check this was okay with him.

Logan stayed silent, I think whatever information Carlos had just told him about the rape was going to grant me any kind of fun I wanted without being moaned at about it being with Carlos.

"logues are you okay?" I said smiling trying to now make him feel better.

Logan snapped out of his thoughtful looking gaze  
"yeah I'm ... okay. sav.. Your phone buzzed a minute ago" he replied.

I picked my phone up from the kitchen side where I had left it before I went to sort my face out. It was my sister. She was pissed off. It read...

I don't mind doing the hair but you owe me 120 bux for the extensions you threw out and the colour, cut and new extensions I'm charging you for sav, I'm not being treated like a fool..so if you got the money I will do it but if you don't get aunty Sheriden to take you to Evans with her bottomless purse!.

I groaned and put the phone on the table.

"won't she do it?" Logan asked.

"no she said I have to pay for it now or ask 'aunty Sheriden'... She is still pissed about me cutting the last lot out... " I explained.

"well if your short I will lend you the money sav, its fine" Logan said.

"no, I just want to avoid her now, she is gonna rip in to me. I might skip dinner with you guys logues... I'm not in the mood for her moaning"

"tell you what, I owe you a decent meal, not that shit from the bistro, we could go out do something fun to take ya mind off it all then have some food and then I will drop you back off to sheridens" Carlos said.

"Sounds like a good idea... As long as your paying, I'm inbetween jobs remember" I laughed.

"how can I refuse such a fab offer for myself sav" Carlos chuckled.

We went out, I noticed that the front seat of his car had been cleaned, I wonder how Carlos explained the blood stain to the valet guy.

"where are you taking me?" I asked.

"Somewhere you have never been, but is full of fun" he said.

"how do you know I have never been?" I asked.

"because I just do, promise you won't get scared or anything... You trust me don't you sav... You know I wouldn't hurt you ever yeah" he said in all seriousness.

"I know you wouldn't... Makes me nervous that you say to not get scared though. Where are we going?"

"you will see" Carlos replied.

It didn't really look like we where going anywhere fun, the car was headed away from the city centre and in to the suburbs.

After a few minutes Carlos pulled up in to a nice looking house, it was painted white on the out side. I had no clue as to who's it was.

"where are we Carlos... Looks like a drug dealers house from some seventys movie" I said sarcastically.

Carlos smiled, he was holding in a laugh.

"this is my place... Would you like to come in?" He replied.

"okay sure... Best be fucking fun tho Carlos" I warned.

Carlos walked me in to a large dining area, the kitchen was at the rear of the house, the place looked... Like Carlos needed looking after.

"come through to the garden, you will love this" he said.

We walked through his small living room that was dominated by a huge TV on the wall and walked out to the garden. I let out a laugh when I saw what was on the grass.

It must of been a 15ft wide trampoline that had been dug down in to his garden so you could just walk in the enclosure.

"that's awesome Carlos" I said.

Carlos smiled at me " come on then, shoes off" he said grabbing my hand and pulling me over.

I took my shoes off and walked on to the trampoline, I just jumped my heart out for a bit on my own before Carlos told me to do a flip.

I tried and almost broke my neck in half, Carlos laughed at me.

He got on  
"sit down in the centre" he instructed. I did, I sat upright with my legs crossed.

"ready?" He said with a cheeky grin.

"as I will ever be" I replied.

Carlos began jumping which sent me flying up in the air. It was hilarious, I couldn't control my self, my stomach hurt so much from all the laughing, he wouldn't stop jumping though, he was sending me up then I would splat back down on the trampoline.

I grabbed his feet to bring him down, he fell over me laughing.

Once we were both stationary laying star fished shaped looking up at the beautiful cloudless sky Carlos looked over at me. I moved my head to the side and looked at him, his chest was going up and down madly trying to catch his breath.

"your stomach still good for food after all that?" He asked sounding puffed out.

I chuckled "fuck yeah!... I do actually fancy a MacDonalds now though, I expect they will be off the menu soon once I sign on sheridens dotted line"

Carlos raised an eyebrow to let me know it was going to be a lot worse than just missing out on MacDonalds

"what will it be like... What did Sheriden do to get to where she is?" I asked full of hope at some idea of my new life awaiting for me.

Carlos smiled.  
"she will have you in the gym everyday, all this will have to go" he said giving my exposed leg from my shorts a pat.

I flinched a bit at the unexpected contact.

"sorry" he said.

"its fine, I'm more upset you think my legs are fat" I tried to make it in to a joke.

"your legs aren't fat, they need to be toned that's all, I take it Sheriden hadn't mentioned diet and fitness to you yet... She is smart" he laughed.

I looked back at the clouds.  
"I don't mind, its the price you pay for wanting something so bad" I mused.

"yeah... savannah?" He said still looking at me.

I turned my head again to look at his cheeky little face smiling at me.  
"what's up?" I asked.

"will you come to Vegas with me as my plus one to sheridens wedding?" He said out of the blue.

"oh my God... Really? Your inviting me to the celebrity wedding of the year?" I almost screamed in excitement.

"well if you don't want to go, I can find some one else" he joked.

"don't you fucking dare ask anyone else. Oh my God this is so exciting. Thankyou Carlos" I said turning and giving him an awkward laying down hug.

"its fine" he said as I practically strangled him around his neck "I can't think of any one more fun to go with to Vegas than you... "

I pulled half out from my hug on him "I'm only 18 Carlos, I won't be allowed to do any gambling or anything"

"I know how old you are sav" he said looking at me. Our faces inches apart. I still had my arms locked around him.

"Carlos... if the other night didn't happen would you try and kiss me right now?" I asked.

Carlos looked at me, he glanced at my lips then unhooked my arms around his neck and sat up.

I sat up too and looked at my feet.

"I don't think there's is a right or Wrong answer for that question sav" he replied.

"its not a trick question" I replied. "just felt like that's where this is headed that's all, sorry"

"if the other night hadn't of happened then ... Well I guess we wouldn't be hanging out at all. But I don't want to kiss you" he smiled.

"Carlos kiss me" I said.

"no I don't want to" he replied.

"please... I would like you to" I argued.

"why?" He asked.

"fuck! ... I don't know?... What if I can't do anything ever again?" I explained.

"savannah... I like that you have... Well you've latched on to me since what happened, I enjoy spending time with you. I wouldn't do it if I didn't but I wouldn't know where to begin in trying to make a relationship work with you... I don't know if you will ever get over what happened to do things like you used to... I just don't know, I'm sorry... I'm sorry it happened" he said looking at his hands.

I ignored what he said "Carlos please kiss me, just to see if I can do it... Please" I almost begged.

"sav... Its not right" he replied.

"please" I asked again.

Carlos looked at me. He leaned in and kissed me gently on the lips, he kept his hands to himself. The kiss was short and sweet, no tongues just a soft kiss on the lips.

"that was pleasantly boring" I replied.

"I'm glad, " he smiled.

"I was thinking more this though" I replied then kissed him back this time with a bit more passion, again he kept his hands to himself, I was glad of that, I let my tongue Slip in his mouth. His cautiously joined mine.

I pulled away and rested my head on his before giving him one last tiny kiss and leaving his space uninvaded.

"satisfied that you have the balls to kiss me now?" Carlos said.

"yeah... That was a big step I think...thanks" I replied.

"yeah... You look a lot like Mackenzie you know. That was weird for me" he said.

"are you still in love with her Carlos" I asked.

"no... I really can't stand her. Its confusing to like someone that looks so much like someone you hate" he said.

"I'm a better kisser though right" I smiled.

Carlos raised an eyebrow " no comment" he replied laughing.

"that's not nice" I replied.

Carlos got up and stepped out of the enclosure of the trampoline.

I followed him. And grabbed my bag from where I chucked it on the grass and checked for messages on my phone hoping that paisley would be okay. there was nothing.

"Carlos where are we going now?" I asked.

"the lady asked for macdonalds, so that's what she is getting" he replied.

Carlos took us through the drive through at maccy d's then we went back to sheridens to eat it. No one was in as far as I could tell.

"wonder where they have gone?" I said sitting in the large dining room that was fit for royalty.

"prob taken Ophelia out somewhere... This is ridiculous, why are we eating macdonalds in this room" he asked.

I laughed, it did seem funny.

"you wanna mess around in the pool after?" I asked.

"yeah I will have to go home quick and get some swim shorts though." Carlos said.

"okay cool... You could just borrow james'. There are some clean ones in the laundry room" I said.

Carlos looked at me, "you have to spend some time on your own at some point you know" he smiled.

I just nodded and carried on eating, Carlos didn't question me any further, he just got the shorts from the laundry room.

we messed around in the pool, Carlos dunked me under a few times, he slung me over his shoulder. Then showed me the best way to dive bomb.

we even tried to do the dirty dancing lift but we spent more time under the water than me being held above Carlos' head.

"try it like this" Carlos said sounding a bit miffed that I couldn't balance what so ever.

"I can't the water is too fucking deep to get a good run up" I explained as once again I slipped down being unable to hold the position.

As I stood in front of Carlos waiting for the next go of him grabbing me on my waist and chucking me over his head. He held my waist but he hesitated to lift me.

I smirked at him.

"what's that for, should be me laughing at your uncoordinated body missy" he smiled.

"I'm laughing because you sooo want to kiss me again... Its fucking obvious Carlos"

Carlos smiled "sav I don't want to kiss you, I didn't want to kiss you before, all I'm ever gonna be is your friend" he reminded me.

"well good but I dare you to kiss me" I replied with a cheeky grin.

"why do you want us kissing all the time now? And why is it I have to do all the dares, I don't think you have done any" he said still smiling.

"i like to feel part of something, even if there its nothing in it plus I will do dares... What do you dare me?" I said.

"I dare you... To... to make an interesting entry on to the red carpet on Saturday" Carlos said.

I laughed. "easy... Deal," I said wrapping my arms around his shoulders.

I leaned in for my kiss just before our lips reached each other Carlos said "this is ridiculous, its kissing prostitution" he smiled.

"its only kissing" i shrugged and engaged my lips on his, I was very concious of his hands on my hips from the failed lift we had tried. He pulled me in slightly closer to him but I liked it. I wanted to forget that horrible night and try and be me again even if it did mean using my sisters ex boyfriend for a bit of help.

Carlos pulled away from me.  
"don't stop" I whispered but Carlos pointed with his eyes to the side of me, I turned around to see James and Sheriden looking at me.

"hey guys" I said hearing Carlos get the giggles next to me.

"what happened to there is nothing going on?" Sheriden said her voice sounding comical

"there is nothing going on Just ... Making out for fun" Carlos said.

"yeah whatever... Paisley is going to be fine. She is staying in hospital for the night and is on a load of different meds but it is just an odd form of pnd" she said.

"what's pnd?" Carlos asked.

"post natal depression... Savannah don't make any plans for Saturday day time, you are all mine!" Sheriden said before walking back in to the house with James who was holding the baby still.

"rumbled" I said splashing Carlos in the face.

"your a bitch" Carlos laughed and grabbed me and dunked me under the water.

We had a fun evening together, it was two days until Saturday, Carlos said he would be busy all day Friday so I wouldn't see him until we left for our big night out. Sheriden had given us all tickets for the live final of her show.  
I said good bye to Carlos and stole one more kiss from him before he got in his car.

"your trouble savannah Davies" he said

"i think you like my trouble" i said entwining one of my hands with his as we stood outside his flashy sports car.

"stop flirting with me. The kissing is fun but ... Well you know" he Said trying to not hurt my feelings.

"its fun to flirt... I'll see you Saturday... Look hot!" I reminded him.

He laughed and got in his car. He un wound his window "sav... We are just friends you know that right" he said in the safety of his get away car.

"yeah, that's all I want. Plus to exploit you because everyone thinks we are dating anyway after I chucked that drink over you" I said smiling at the memory of the picture that had worked its way on to the internet forever.

"ooh yeah I forgot about that... Seems ages ago... So your using me to get yourself on the fame ladder still" he said.

"pretty much but that sounds bad though. Its nice to kiss... That's all it is just kissing. It has helped my confidence though, so a serious Thank you for that Carlos... I mean it" I replied.

"anytime sav... See you Saturday." He said and drove away as I waved bye.

Friday went by fairly quickly, Ophelia had stayed the night with Sheriden and James.  
Kendall picked her up just before he went to go and collect paisley from the hospital. By all accounts she seemed pretty much normal again. but she wouldn't be going to sheridens after show party, she had agreed to spend the night with Mackenzie and Ophelia. Mackenzie had apparently organised a very girly night in for the two of far as I was aware I don't think my sister was talking to me, Logan was calling me a lot to check I was okay. But Mackenzie hadn't so much as text me. That pissed me off.

Carlos picture messaged me a number of possible suits for Saturday night. I asked him to go for the blue suit, but he replied "okay Defo not going for the blue just to annoy you... Don't forget to plan your red carpet entry!"

I had forgot... How was I going to make a dramatic entry?

The day of the party Sheriden got me up really early, we left in her car looking like shit, and we went to Evans.  
It was nothing like what I had imagined. It didn't look anything like a beauty salon... More a beauty palace.

Sheriden took good care of me, and treated me to pretty much all the luxuries that Evans had to offer. Although I did refuse a body massage, I didn't want to be touched by strange Hands so instead we had an extended lunch with champagne.

I did feel bad that Mackenzie wasn't doing my hair, but she had jumped to all the wrong conclusions and just presumed me to be the bad person.

I was soon to become her double with beautiful fire engine red hair. Sheriden was having a change to. She was going back to her original brown colour. She said she will prefer it for her wedding.

"Sheriden Carlos dared me to make an entrance on to the red carpet... Any ideas?" I asked as we waited for the hair colour on our heads to develop.

"you two are childish with your little games you play... Are you dating?" She asked.

" no, I begged him to kiss me, just to see if i can still do it with out freaking out" I replied.

"you look cute together, Carlos is wild, its a good look for you" Sheriden said.

"you want me to be wild? I thought you said I had to behave to make your company look good not bad" I said confused.

"I'm not saying trash hotel rooms, just be the wild child... Carlos will love it he will play along... How are you getting to the party from the show?" She asked.

"Carlos has a cab booked" I replied.

"no I will organise a car for you both. As far as an entrance goes the best way for a fun reaction is to exploit your famous date which you are pretty good at already" she said smiling.

"how do you mean though, I need hints Sheriden" I laughed.

"I don't know hang out of the sun roof for all I care. Create a storm... Be the storm," she mused.

"yeah your sounding liked you need to join paisley in the hospital now" I replied.  
Sheriden turned and looked at me then smiled.

"you understand what I mean though?"she said.

"Yeah... I think so. Get noticed but don't do stupid shit?" I replied.

"bingo!" She replied. "get thinking, I want to be surprised."

Once I had my hair coloured and the 16 inch extensions in I was taken to another little room in Evans.

Sheriden looked like she was arguing  
With one of the ladies that worked there, but she was speaking in Spanish so I had no clue what was being said.

Sheriden then walked over to me, she had her brown hair in some fancy up do, where as mine had not been styled yet.

"sav... you really do look a lot like your sister now... Like exactly the same, I was wondering if you would like some body crystals on your back? Obviously Mackenzie is famous for three things, her boyfriend, her salon and her tattoo on her back, so I was wondering if you would like so show some sparkles off that would erase public confusion?" She said.

I don't mind... It will look nice with the dress won't it... I have to take my top off don't I?" I said.

Sheriden nodded.

"is it just that lady that its gonna be doing it?" I asked.

"yeah she was due to go home but I have persuaded her to do it... if you want it done of course." She said soothingly.

"its fine... Let's do it" I replied.

Soon enough I had 'savannah' running down my spine in beautiful swirly writing made from hundreds of tiny crystals.

"I'm going to have to get to the studio, James is going to pick you up and take you back to bel air, get changed in to your dress, some one will be round to do your hair okay... Is it okay about James... He won't hurt you savannah. He is the kindest man I have ever met in my life" she said.

"its fine" I replied. "I will see you later. Hope Claire wins the big one, she is my favourite" I said.  
Claire was the most entertaining that had made it to the finals of sheridens show.

"oh god no, I want Claire to win glamour, my vote is for Tracy to win the runway but that's between you and me" she smiled.

Sheriden left in some fancy black jag whilst I waited in the same place we had eaten lunch in for James to pick me up.

I stared out of the window that looked out on to some truly amazing garden scenery that boasted a huge fountain.

I was left alone with my thoughts for the first time since I was raped.  
I went over the details again in my head.  
Even though it was two men that had done the damage it was the hot guy that I had started talking to that I wished dead. I never wanted to lay eyes on him him again. Think of him again.

"savannah" came a voice behind me. I turned to see James. He stood a few paces away so not to scare me.

"boy do you look like your sister" he smiled as he saw my face with my newly red hair.

I just smiled at him and followed him out to the car. I called Logan on my phone once James started the engine. he said he was looking forward to the evening, I kept him chatting until we reached bel air.

I don't know what it was about James but I just couldn't let my guard down with him. safety in numbers, even if it was talking to my sisters boyfriend on the telephone.

Once inside I got changed and the lady came to do my hair, Sheriden had already instructed her on what to do, I had it very similar to how Mackenzie wore hers to show of her tattoo, it was swept to the side over my left shoulder and curled in to what seemed a million ringlets.

It was beautiful.

James knocked on my bedroom door as I was just putting the finishing touches on my make up .

"savannah I'm going to the studio, Carlos is down stairs in the kitchen... I will see you there okay" he called through the door.

"Okay... Bye" was all I replied.

I looked in the large wardrobe mirror that made my guest room look double the size.  
My beautiful white dress now fit to perfection, Sheriden had some of the length taken up for me, I turned to look at my Crystal back, it looked beautiful. My face and my hair now didn't look anything like me. it was my sister that now looked back at me in the reflection. I really did look like her twin now.  
I wonder what Logan would make of this, I wasnt sure if I liked it. I looked amazing but it was going to take some getting used to.

I put the silver shimmery shoes on and made my way down stairs. Carlos was waiting for me in the kitchen.

He stared at me for what seemed an eternity.

I walked up to him as it didn't seem he was going to talk anytime soon.

"Are you going to say anything to me Carlos?" I said amused that I had rendered him speechless.

I twirled around to show him the name studded down my spine in crystals.

"What do you think?" I asked.

"I think you look beautiful savannah... Absolutely stunning" he finally replied.

"thank you... I'm sorry I look so much like Mackenzie... I don't really like it myself. You must hate it" I said just as Carlos took one of my hands.

"your not flirting with me are you?" I mocked him.

He just smiled at me for such a long time.

"I'm under strict instructions to pretend to be your boyfriend this evening from your future boss..." He declared.

I smiled.

"Sheriden wants me to act like the wild child, she doesn't want me to blend in with the crowd" I said still holding on to his hand.

Carlos nodded "this okay then?" He said holding up the linked hands.

"yeah I like this... I like the kisses too but that's as far as it goes. No touching me anywhere else" I explained.

"you have my word, I'm here to serve and protect... is it wrong to not wanna wait to see Logans face when I show up with you" he smiled his cheeky grin.

"makes it square I guess, I gain something and you get one over on logues finally Coz we both know I'm hotter than Kenzie" I laughed.

Carlos just smiled.

We got in to the car that was waiting for us outside and made our way to the TV studio. Sheriden had given us the best audience seats possible behind the judging panel. I was however sat next to James, we were both directly behind Sheriden. I figured she had done this so I would get camera exposure. Logan was on the end Sat next to kendall. He looked at me... A lot. I wasnt sure if he was even convinced I wasnt Mackenzie.

There was a lot of buzz in the crowd, Sheriden even received the occasional boo from some hard core big time rush fans.

She lapped it up though and at one point when the boos carried on for so long she wasnt able to talk over it she got out of her seat sat on James lap and kissed him. She looked stunning, she was currently wearing a black very sparkly tailored suit.

Sheriden had on her judging panel alongside her, american male fashion model Jason Shaw, British Sarah doukas who was the founder of sheridens original storm model management when she first began modelling. And on the end was Carmen electra, Carmen was an all rounder, she had done every type of modelling and been a playboy bunny.

It was so exciting, I had never been in a TV studio before.  
Carlos held my hand the entire time, I don't think he had let go since he took it back in sheridens kitchen.

"you ready to have some fun with Sheriden in the ad break" Carlos whispered to me.

"what do you mean?" I whispered back.

Carlos just smiled, during the ad break the 4 judges went off to make up or wherever it is they go, Carlos stood up and turned to the crowd with his arms raised. They went mental for him, he then went down to the judging panel desk and had a sip from sheridens water which got the crowd laughing, he then licked all along the rim of the glass and put it back where he found it.

The audience was in hysterics, James just shook his head with a smile on his face.

The lights went down and the remainder of the live final began. I did notice that through out the last half of the show Sheriden did not have any type of thirst, she must of known Carlos had done something.

With all phone votes in four girls got voted off leaving just six remaining, all to be winners but not all getting the best prize which was obviously the cat walk contract. Sheriden dipped out on her favourite Tracy to win the runway, she won glamour, and my favourite Claire won big. Sheriden had done well. She had made an excellent TV show. Once she had congratulated all of those that would be joining her books she went off back stage once the credits had rolled, James went with her.

Carlos took my hand and led me out the way we had came. He had girls chucking themselves all over him at all angles. It was daunting for me to be so squashed up trying to fight my way through to the little back room where only security would let us as sheridens special guests in. Once in the room I was shaking, I didn't like it. I hated being shoved about. It scared me.

Carlos smiled at me and we kept on walking, we weren't stopping we went out in to the same private parking lot we had been dropped off at at my astonishment a gleaming black limo was sat there waiting for us.

"oh my God is this sheridens idea of organising a car for us" I gasped

Carlos just smiled and opened the door for me, we got in. It was amazing inside. I had been in a limo once for my prom, but it was nothing like this one. This was amazing.

"sav come here" Carlos said patting the seat next to him.

I moved from where I was and sat next to him, Carlos took my hand gently in his then leaned in to kiss me.

I wasnt expecting to be kissed, but because he moved slowly, I knew what was coming, he allowed me time to think, and I thought yeah okay why not.

It was a soft kiss, Carlos added his tongue in to the equation. It was slow and caring, he only touched me with the one hand that was already holding my own.

As he parted from my lips he smiled.  
"are you okay, you were shaking back there"

"I'm fine, just crowds all in my face... I find it difficult... Don't leave me tonight, if you need to take a piss dump me on Logan" I replied.

Carlos laughed "your mouth is disgraceful sav. I won't leave you don't worry.

"what's your big entrance then... Its almost time.

"my big entrance is to be the bitch, Sheriden is going to look like a kitten compared to me. Just promise you do everything I say" I explained.

"I love it when your full of authority sav" Carlos joked.

Once the car stopped alongside the red carpet my heart was doing ten to the dozen.

"you will be fine" Carlos laughed at me.

his door opened and he got out and held a hand out to me. I graciously took it and left the car. The amount of people that were waiting for a glimpse of there favourite celebrity was insane.

I could hear girls screaming Carlos' name. He started to make his way over to greet some with me but I whispered "not tonight" in his ear then he walked away giving his fans just a wave and I smile instead. I got a tornado of boos come my way. I smiled, it really was quite fun. I turned Carlos to face me, he now had his back to his fans. I pulled him in to kiss me, he did. And he did it well, the kiss was so passionate and fucking sexy, even I believed for a second that Carlos was my boyfriend, I stuck my middle finger up to the fans that hurled abuse at me from behind Carlos back as we kissed.

The flurry of camera shots that came our way were incredible. I pulled out from my sexy kiss with Carlos and strutted around with my best bitch face slapped on me. We posed for the paps, Carlos spun me round by my hand showing me off to the world. I think he wanted me to be Mackenzie so bad.

I refused to talk to any journalists, I did hear a few confused people shout out Mackenzie, but to this Carlos just pointed at my back with my name studded down it in crystals.

Carlos kissed me again for the cameras. "you look fucking awesome" he smiled.

"thanks Carlos" I replied.

I was now rusher enemy number one... Paisley eat your heart out.

the red carpet was busy, there were loads of people filing in to the party. I could see Logan signing some autographs for his fans he was with kendall they must of gone together seeing as they were dateless.

Logan walked up to us as we posed for more pictures, he gave me a kiss on the cheek.  
"savannah... Please stop kissing Carlos when you look so much like the love of my life" he laughed.

Carlos raised an eyebrow then scooped me up in his arms and pretended to run away from Logan, I think this was more a private joke between the two, that Carlos didn't want me stolen away by his friend. Again we got papped doing that. Then Carlos put me down just as we entered the hotel, Sheriden had hired out teddys nightclub for the venue of her party. This was a big deal for me.

"that was insane" I said to Carlos as he put me down in side the club.

"that was fun" he replied.

"I'm going to have a very angry sister tomorrow...and a pissed off mom" I stated the obvious.

"relax sav its only acting, text her now and say" he said.

"no I don't want to" I replied.

"what the fuck is all this" kendall laughed joining us trying to push or heads together making us kiss.

I whacked his hand away "fuck off" I shouted. I didn't like being touched when not expecting it, or forced in to someones face.

Kendall looked at me like I had gone mad.

"sorry" I said quickly.

"don't be sorry sav... Kendall shouldn't be grabbing heads" Carlos said sounding pissed off " but all this is just an act" Carlos said taking my hand again.

"yeah sure it is... The fact she looks like Kenzie has nothing to do with it" kendall laughed.

"savannah you look to die for" Sheriden said as she too joined our little group with Logan and James.

" you look pretty hot your self Sheri" I said looking at her beautiful blue dress.  
"hey sav... Your in your element there look!" Logan said looking over at a very already drunk guest that was rubbing her way up the wrong way on a dancing pole.

"I got the sack logues, my days are done doing that" I replied.

I felt eyes on me from Carlos and Sheriden.

"what?" I said to them both.

"I though you worked in a shoe shop, not a strip club" Carlos said looking confused.

"I did a few months back but I got a job in a club as a pole dancer... I don't strip, and nor did anyone else in the club... I told you that... You know the room which I thought had no CCTV... Remember" I said embarrassed.

"you failed to mention pole dancer sav" Carlos laughed.

"savannah get Carlos to get you a few drinks from the bar... You haven't signed on that line yet with me" Sheriden said.

I looked at Carlos. He shrugged and went to the bar with kendall.

"how good are you on that?" Sheriden asked looking at the pole.

I shrugged to say okay but Logan had other ideas.  
"she is good, like good Sheriden... Its nice to watch" Logan said laughing.

"oh my god I'm going to forget that I heard that logues... Do I turn you on looking like this?" I asked him.

"yeah your like... Kenzie but slutty style" Logan said laughing.

"oh my God your drunk aren't you... Kenz is gonna kill you logues" I said.

"give me a break, I've not been out for ages... " Logan replied.

"Logan get your girlfriends sister drunk for me" Sheriden said then walked away with James.

"why does she want me drunk?" I asked Logan who was now twirling my hair in his hands.

"she wants you on that pole... Don't underestimate Sheriden. She likes you but she is using you savannah" Logan said smiling at me.

"logues don't do that" I said pulling his hand away from my hair.

"sorry... I don't like seeing you with Carlos like that... Kissing when you look like kenz" he said.

"but I'm not kenz and I'm sure Carlos doesn't like seeing you do that to my hair either Logan.

"I don't think Carlos is too bothered what I do to be honest" he said looking in the direction of the bar. I turned to see Carlos hug a blonde girl and then get caught in lots of laughter and chat.

"who is that?" I asked looking at the girl that was making Carlos smile so bad.

"that's Tammi Taylor... Carlos' ex girlfriend who broke his heart and left him" Logan said with a smile.

Carlos caught my eye and smiled. He then said his goodbyes to Tammi and walked off in the wrong direction with our drinks.

"what's he doing now" I said confused.

Logan sighed "I think I'm about to gain a date that's what's going on sav" he said slinging an arm around me.

"what do you mean" I asked.

"come on let's go and get a drink" Logan said .

"but Carlos has my drink... Logan what's going on?" I snapped.

"Carlos is gonna drop you sav... Look he is of with Sheriden asking for her to release him from his date duty with you" Logan sighed.

I looked over at Sheriden and low and behold there they were looking straight back at me. Sheriden didn't look happy.

"but I thought he liked me" I said to Logan confused.

"savannah he is an idiotic childish man" Logan said looking at me. He saw the disappointment on my face " hey come on. He still cares about you. It was all an act wasnt it?" Logan added.

I shrugged. Sheriden was now making a bee line for me.

"savannah Carlos wants to play make up with that whore over there, so he wants out of tonights goings on" she said sharply.

"yeah I gathered... What a fucking Dick" I said, angry at Carlos.

"get that in you" Logan said handing me a shot. I downed it. "and get that in you" he repeated handing me another one.

"I'm sorry" Sheriden said looking over at Carlos who was now back chatting to Tammi and had given her my drink.

"you actually liked him too didn't you" Sheriden said giving me a hug.

"okay I admit it I actually did like him, but he is just another Dick head bloke" I said giving Sheriden a hug back as she squeezed me.

"Sheriden Lloyd... My my. look how far you have come!" Came the voice of Tammi as her and Carlos made there way over to us.

"Tammi... Its been too long" Sheriden replied with sarcasm thick in her voice.

Tammy looked at me "I see you have added another recruit to your brat pack" she said turning back to Sheriden.

Sheriden smiled "brat pack... an interesting choice of word" she chuckled.

"this is my latest recruit to land my most important campaign, Tammi I would like you to meet" Sheriden got cut of by Logan.

"Mackenzie Davies... This is my girlfriend Mackenzie" Logan said smiling away.

Carlos just shook his head at this silly game Logan was now playing.

"oh of course... You used to date Carlos before didn't you?" She said.

"yeah it seems like only recently we broke up funnily enough" I said through gritted teeth.

Carlos glared at me.

"Mackenzie you look like the most beautiful girl in the room" Logan said to me and held my hand.

"logie can I have a word with you please" I said to Logan dragging him away.

"what the fuck are you doing?" I said out of ear shot from everyone.

"winding Carlos up... All he sees is Mackenzie in you. That's all he has ever seen. He deserves it for just dumping you like that" Logan said.

"I really thought he liked me Logan... He made me feel normal. Can I go home?" I asked.

"come here" Logan said giving me a hug "you can't go home, Sheriden won't let her little prodigy just leave after being here less than an hour... Just ride it out and have fun... Let's go and get drunk and have a dance... Maybe get you on that pole" he smirked.

"your such a perv when you have a drink inside you Logan... I can see how you had your little sex addiction" I smiled.

"well that is a polite way of calling me a slut" he laughed and gave me a Kiss on the forehead.

I smiled.

We spent the next hour with kendall getting totally smashed.  
Kendall wasnt intending on getting drunk but Mackenzie was staying over at his house to help look after Ophelia so he talked himself in to it. He did deserve a night off after everything he had been through which made me feel the same, I had been through so much too, and was pissed of with Carlos for just conveniently forgetting all that to run off with his ex who he looked very cosy with right now.

"line me up logues" I said hinting that I wanted more shots.

Logan smiled at me.  
"I don't think I should have any more when you look like that" Logan said swaying.

"oh my god you can't hold your drink at all logues" I said smiling  
Logan sat down on a chair next to a table.

"your lucky he is still here, he usually gets thrown out or been sick by now" kendall laughed as he handed me a drink.

I looked over at Carlos. He was looking at me, Tammi had her back to me but Carlos mouthed sorry to me. I stuck my finger up at him and sat on Logans lap.

Logan wrapped an arm around my waist and kissed me on the cheek.  
"you having fun sav" logan slurred.

"not really, nothing like what I thought it would be like. Celebrities are boring!" I said looking around at some of the familiar faces.

"uh oh... I think you are in trouble" kendall said.

I turned to see Carlos storming his way towards me.

"what the fuck are you two playing at" he demanded looking at Logan and I.

"sitting down and having a drink seeing as you ditched me" I replied.

"why did you tell Tammi she was Kenzie?" He said to Logan eying up the arm he had rested on my lap.

"to piss you of Carlos... You know what savannah has been through, but at the end of the day all you think about is your cock" Logan said

"me? That is rich coming from you, have you seen yourself Logan, she may look like kenz but that is not her that you have your self draped all over, that is her sister" Carlos spat back at him.

"yeah I know who it is Carlos... Thought you would of learnt by now that if you don't take proper care of the things you love then I will" Logan said with his crooked smile.

Tammy came over to join us, she stood next to Carlos and linked an arm with his.

"hey kendall, haven't seen you for ages" she said to him.

"hi, yeah lots been going on" he replied

"yeah your a daddy... That's nice. Its been a rough ride for you" she said, obviously being part of sheridens original 'bratpack'. She was around for the kendall/Sheriden days.

"Logan was just saying he was leaving to get his date home" Carlos said carrying on his arguement with Logan under the pretence that I was Mackenzie.

Logan laughed, I think drunk Logan was a lot more fun than sober Logan, he had a set of balls on him for one and wouldn't take Carlos' shit.

"no I didn't Los, I was saying I will go home once my date does some dirty business on that pole for me" Logan said giving me another kiss on the side of my head.

The look on Carlos' face was amazing. He didn't want to lose out to Logan again even though I was only pretending to be Mackenzie.

"where is Sheriden?" I asked needing the toilet but not wanting to go on my own.

"she is there" kendall said propping him self on the bar.

I turned to see Sheriden talking to... "fuck is that Simon Cowell?" I Said out loud.

"yup" kendall said.

The drink gave me courage that I really could do with out. But I looked at Tammi wondering if she knew Simon Cowell well enough to go and say hi... I don't think she did.

I strutted my beautiful self over to Sheriden and slipped my hand in hers.

I saw 4 pairs of eyes on me from the group I had left near the bar.

"savannah... I'm glad you came up, this is Simon, Simon this is ... My big future...savannah Davies. She introduced me.

"nice to meet you Simon" I said he eyed me up and down like a tasty treat, it repulsed me "Sheriden sorry to interrupt but something important has come up could I have a private word quickly" I said as importantly as I could to not make Sheriden look silly.

"course she said gripping my hand and leaving Simon with just a smile.

"what's up... I'm sorry about Carlos he has ruined my entire evening" she moaned.

"oh forget Carlos, he is pissed off with Logan for saying he wants a pole dance from me... I just need you to go to the toilet with me, I physically can't go in by myself in a strange place"

Sheriden smiled and walked off with me in the direction of the toilet.

I had never been in such a glamorous club lavatory before.

The girls where intimidating but I guess I was the one holding hands with the most important person here.

"why does Logan want a pole dance so badly from you... " she carried on our conversation from out side as we queued for the toilet.

"he is pissed, I think Carlos said something that riled him up" I answered.

"well I wouldn't mind seeing you do your thing on that pole" she said.

"why ? " I laughed.

"Coz I have I guy with a camera out there and I would prefer to have shots of you doing something slightly more sexy than sitting on Logans lap while he drools all over you" she smiled.

"fuck really, is kenz going to see that... Fuck!" I said.

"no, I get given the memory card at the end of the night, so no one will have the right to publish anything unless I give out the okay... You should get on that pole Savannah" she said.

"I don't think I will get very far in this" I said stroking the fabric of my beautiful white dress.

"no... But you could in that!" Sheriden said looking at a girl wearing a stars and stripes vest tank top.

"you have a wicked brain Sheriden Lloyd" I said smiling.

Turned out the girl who was called Vanessa was more than happy to swap outfits with me, of course Sheriden didn't want me in the sparkly silver leggings that came with it, she was happy enough that the tank top covered just enough of my back side so that you could see my white underwear, I was so glad I had opted for the hipster panties.

I kept my own shoes on, I came out of the loo looking like something from a back street strip club but sheridens eyes lit up.

"that's my wild child that I know and love" she said having a little clap.  
"Do you have a preferred song that you want to do this to?" She asked.

I looked in the mirror, I looked more like me dressed like this. I was creating quite a stir in the ladies toilet. It seemed all the girls in there loved Sheriden, they assed licked her like anything hoping to be noticed, and they all envied me for being the only girl Sheriden was interested in.

"my intro was dirrty... Christina Aguilera, so if you can sort that out that would be great... Sheriden I'm drunk, what if I fall on my face?" I said worried

"then your fired before you get the job" she replied.

My mouth fell open.

"savannah I'm joking... If you fancy it, knock that smile off of Tammi's face. I can't stand that bitch..." She said.

"she seems nice..." I said honestly.

"she isn't nice and she is stealing your date to my wedding" Sheriden said.

"How did you know about that" I asked confused then realised that it was all sheridens idea, Carlos had been told to invite me to the wedding.

"thought it would cheer you up" she said quietly realising that I actually had developed feelings for Carlos that I now realised were fabricated stories for Sheriden to make me look famous.

I just nodded. Logan was right, she was just looking out for her self. Everyone was... even my own sister.

"savannah... I'm sorry I thought you knew" she said

"its fine... Don't worry, I will see you out there" I said and walked out the ladies toilet.

I walked back to Logan. he was where I had left him, but they had made a little seated area now with some other people I didn't recognise.

I sat back on Logans lap, he was even more worse for wear than when I left him.  
"what the fuck is this sav" he said looking at my new outfit.

"Sheriden wants me on the pole" I sighed.

"sav... Are you happy doing this... I mean after you know..." Logan said in the only ounce of soberness he had left.

"Logan your a good guy, your actually the only person that hasn't screwed me over" I said kissing him on the lips as I sat on his lap.

Logan pulled away more or less straight away and looked at me. " sav what the fuck?" He whispered so not to draw attention from anyone. I could feel kendalls eyes on us from the seat next to us though.

"I'm sorry... I just needed to do that. Your so nice. Your the only one that cares about me here" I said giving him another kiss,

He was too drunk to really care what hurt it would cause my sister and joined in on the second attempt.  
his tongue entered my mouth just as kendall had seen enough.

"Logan... Logan!" He said loudly from next to us. Logan pulled away from me and looked at kendall.

"think of kenz man" was all kendall said.

Logan looked from kendall to me and smiled his crooked smile at me. He was so drunk, but so was I, i ran my hands through his dark brown hair and pulled him in to enjoy another of his fabulous kisses. I didn't give a shit about any one or anything at this precise moment in time.

Sheriden came and tapped me on the shoulder, she looked somewhat taken aback as I kissed Logan goodbye on the lips as I walked away with her.

The music I requested started and I took my position on the pole. I was really quite good, all you needed was upper arm strength. I could do vertical splits against it, and twirl from any angle I desired. I could see Logan and Carlos looking at me with there mouths gaping open, even kendall looked impressed.

I wrapped the pole inbetween my legs and rubbed up and down against it as I hung upside down touching the floor with my hands I heard a cheer and realised my boobs must be on display. I came back upright and marched over in time to the music to my seated area of so called friends.

I made a fuss over Carlos giving his face a rub with my hands and gave him a kiss on the lips but then took Logan by the hand up out of his seat and dragged the chair with my other to the dance floor that was now just full of with people staring at my provocative show.

I sat Logan back down in his new position and climbed on him giving him a filthy lap dance. I placed his hands on my hips and entered my tongue in his mouth.

Logan was rendered useless. I was my sisters worst nightmare, the sole reason that Logan hardly went out.

As I tried to unbutton his shirt that's when James came up and grabbed me round the waist and lifted me away.

James took me through some doors and in to a small room, Logan was following close behind.

James put me down and sat me in a chair.  
I slapped him as soon as I was free.

"what the fuck was that, I was doing what Sheriden told me to do." I shouted.

"what do you think your sister is going to think about this...Jesus" James said grabbing his head.

"Sheriden has the rights to the photographer James, its only a bit of fun" I said looking at Logan who swayed in the door.

"Logan fuck off! your pissing me off" James said. "what about all the people with cameras out there watching you make a complete ass of your self... Did Sheriden tell you about those... You guys are screwed" he finished.

I looked at Logan and burst in to tears as Sheriden walked in.

"James why did you do that! " she screamed.

"me? No Sheriden, why are you doing this to Logan, to Carlos... Its fucked, I've seen enough... This is too much Sheriden, Jesus she is recovering from a rape, and you bring her to a party and get her drunk then get her to dry hump her sisters boyfriend... What is wrong with you!" He shouted at her.

Sheriden looked in shock. I doubt James had ever raised his voice to her before.

"its fucked up Sheriden... I can't stand by and look at this carry on" he said then walked out.

Sheriden followed him.

"I enjoyed it if that means anything to you" Logan said as he slouched against the door frame.

"can we go home Logan" I asked through my tears.

"as soon as I get you out of my system savannah" he replied.

"logues James is right, we are screwed. Kenz is gonna finish your ass when she finds out about this" I said wiping my eyes.

"she will know about the public lap dance that nothing happened with,there is no one with a camera in here" he said looking around.

"logues this is wrong on a whole new level" I replied.

"I just want to look after you savannah" he said walking over to me and lifting me out of the seat James had thrown me in.

Logan kissed me. It was hard and passionate, he wanted more.  
"logues I can't do this... I'm sorry" I said pulling away from him.

"I'm drunk sav... I'm sorry... This is fucked... I like you kissing me though" he chuckled then kissed me again.

"Carlos invited me to the wedding as his date, I thought he liked me but it turned out it was sheridens idea... Why would they do that to me... I really liked him. I trusted him Logan" I said filling up with tears.

"sav" came a voice from the door. It was Carlos.  
"I'm sorry... I did like you... I do like you," he said.

"forget it Carlos. I got you wrong just like kenz did. Get out of my way" I said as I barged past him.

"sav... I'm sorry" he called after me. But I walked out and through a fire exit at the back of the hotel. I sat on the step and cried.

I phoned my sister. It rang.

"hello?" She answered.

"Kenzie... I'm so sorry... Tonight is a complete mess" I cried down the phone.

"savannah... What's happened? Have you been drinking?" She said.

"I kissed Logan... I'm so sorry, I sat on his lap and I kissed him. I don't know why I did it. Logan is so drunk, it was all me not him... Oh my God I'm so sorry. He was the only one that promised not to leave me" I blubbed hysterically down the phone.

"savannah... Why?" She said.

"I don't know... Carlos dumped me, Logan picked up the pieces... I'm so sorry, Logan loves you so much, there is so much going on that I haven't told you"

The line went dead  
"Kenzie?... Mackenzie!" I howled down the phone.

I cried my heart out. I had nothing left and everything was my own fault.

I sat there crying for some time.

"you okay?" Said a male voice coming towards me.

"no I kissed my sisters boyfriend" I cried out. The strange man sat next to me on the step.

"what are you doing?" I snapped at him.

"just having a smoke" he replied.

"well fuck off... Don't sit near me, I don't know you.. Fuck off" I shouted.

"hey calm down sweetheart" he said not budging from his seat.

"I'm not your sweetheart... Get away from me" I shouted standing up.

"alright calm down you fuckin psycho bitch" he said getting up.

James came out of the fire exit "everything okay sav?" He said squaring up to the stranger. "this guy causing you trouble?" He said working his way inbetween me and the strange man.

"I'm going man" the guy said and walked off in the direction in which he came

I was shaking and crying in the corner of the fire exit.

"savannah do you want to go home? I can take you in the car... I'm not going to hurt you sav" he said.

He slowly walked towards me and gave me a hug. I cried so hard on his shoulder.

"it will be okay savannah... Tonight shouldn't of happened... Sheriden has let you down, I'm so sorry" he said.

"I really liked Carlos James... Why did he do it?" I slushed out.

"I don't know, if it makes you feel better Tammi left... She wasnt happy" he said.

I sniffed and pulled my head from his shoulder "why did she leave"

"kendall told her what was going on, she was pissed off that Carlos lied about you" he replied.

"I really liked him James... He let me down after everything" I blubbed.

"come on let's get you home" James said.

I wiped my face as we walked back in the corridor. James told me to wait in the room he had dragged me in to after my lap dance. Logan was being sick in a bin.

"Logan I'm so sorry, I phoned Kenzie, and told her, she hung up on me"

Logan pulled his head out of the metal waste paper bin. He spat In it, his eyes streamed.  
"she called me. Its over" he said.

My legs buckled beneath me.

"no, no... She can't.. No" I said.

Logan returned to his bin and puked in it once again.

James walked in the room " you guys ready" he said. Logan stood up then fell over again and banged his head on the wall.

This made me cry even harder.

"come on logues up we get" James said and helped him up, we walked through to the parking lot through the back corridors of the hotel.

James put Logan in the back of his truck.  
"did you want to sit in the front or back" James asked.

"front" I said looking at the state of Logan.

The drive back was quiet. I didn't say anything and Logan wouldn't stop being sick in a bag in the back seat. Once in bel air James helped Logan out of the car and in to the house. He left us in the smaller reception room. Saying he would be back in a while

"Logan I'm so sorry... About kenz... I will make it right" I said crying.

"I'm just gonna go home savannah... To Texas... Did I bang my head?" He said rubbing his temple.

"Logan what are you saying? You can't go home to Texas.. Yes you did bang your head, are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm sorry savannah... It was going to happen and I'm so sorry it was you" Logan said.

"it wasnt going to happen though. You said you're self its because I looked like kenz... I can't believe she finished with you" I said staring to cry again.

"it was... I love her so much and now I've ruined everything. I'm a complete Dick, she is going to get back with Carlos I know it sav" he mumbled.

I must of fallen asleep, or passed out but I woke up to James gently shaking my arm.

My head spun.  
"your sister is here savannah" he said.

As the nights events came flooding back to my drunken brain I looked at Logan who was comatosed on the opposite chair to me.

I looked at Mackenzie. She was crying and lunged her self at me, holding me in a hug.

"savannah.. I'm so sorry" she cried in to me.  
I looked up at James who was sat on the arm of Logans chair.

"why didn't you tell me" she cried.

"I'm sorry sav, I told her everything, its all gone a bit too far now. Tonight was the final straw for me... " James said.

I didn't say anything I just cried on my sister, she hugged the life out of me.

"please don't end things with Logan, I swear it was all my fault, he was so drunk... He has been sick and everything" I howled.

"Logan doesn't matter at the moment savannah... My god why didn't you tell me what those men did to you"she cried.

I just cried on my sisters shoulder. I couldn't string any words together.

"did you want to come back to the apartment with me savannah? We can talk about it in private" Mackenzie said rubbing my back.

I just shook my head.

"savannahs room is third on the right, up the stairs if you wanted to go up there" James said .

"yeah that would be great James thank you" Mackenzie replied.

"I will make up a room for you too if you like... Its pretty late now" he said, I looked at him through my tear filled eyes, he gave me a sympathetic smile.

"no don't worry yourself, I can just bunk in with her, I don't want to leave her... Thank you... For telling me" she said.

"its okay... My cousin was raped when she was 15. It was a very difficult time for everyone" James said quietly. I wondered if Sheriden knew this piece of information.

Mackenzie guided me up and a went in to my guest room leaving Logan passed out down stairs in the chair with James for company.


	10. Chapter 10

**savannahs story**  
"come on let's get you tucked in" Mackenzie said taking my shoes off and helping me in to bed still wearing the stars and stripes top.

She got in with me and gave me a hug  
"why didn't you tell me savannah... I could of helped you, been there for you" she said, her tears running along her face as she spoke.

"I was scared you would think bad of me, it was my own fault, I came on to them, I called Logan but he said you were ill again, I asked him for Carlos' number. Carlos came and got me... He has been taking care of me, being so nice... We kissed...but everything he said was a lie. I really like him kenz, I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry, I should of listened" I blubbed.

"shhhh... Come on its alright, I promise. I can't understand why you are more upset about Carlos" she said.

"he makes me feel safe, and normal... Can you phone him for me... please" I begged.

"sav you're drunk, you should wait for tomorrow, everything will seem better then... Just let Carlos go, he isn't worth the tears if he Lies to you is he?" She soothed holding my hand.

I smiled at her. "reminds me of being at home when mom and dad were still together, you trying to cheer me up after Russell dumped me ... Do you remember that?"

"how can I forget, Russell Hubert, the love of your life for ... What was it? Three weeks" Mackenzie smiled back at the memory.

"I was only sixteen then, so much has changed for us" I sniffed.

"one thing won't change though sav, and that's I'm you're big sister and I will always be there for you... No matter what happens" she whispered.

"I'm so sorry about Logan, he didn't mean it... I didn't mean it. Your not really breaking up with him are you?" I said starting to cry again.

Mackenzie looked up to the ceiling in the guest room "I love him so much savannah... But he promised me he had changed... I really don't know what I'm going to do, I don't want you blaming yourself, bloody Sheriden... its all her fault" Mackenzie said still laying and looking up to the ceiling. She sighed.

"Sheriden just tries to get the best for everyone, she is a nice woman" I said sticking up for her.

Mackenzie didn't say anything.

"kenz, can you call Carlos for me, please, I really have to talk to him" I asked again.

"you really do like him don't you, he is going to break your heart savannah." She replied.

"please. I need to tell him some things" I begged.

"okay, I will phone him" she said and got out of bed to get her bag that was on the floor.

She dialled the number.

"Carlos?... Its Mackenzie" she said.

"yeah... She wants to talk to you, she is pretty upset"

"no, probably best on the phone, she is very drunk thanks to that idiot you call a sister"

"no this has nothing to do with Logan"

"well you can think what you like... Are you going to talk to savannah or not?"

My sister finished the one way conversation that I could hear and passed me her phone.

"Carlos? Hey"

"hey sav... I'm so sorry, tonight was a massive fuck up, I didn't know Tammi was going to be there, I haven't seen her for so Long, I just got caught up... I'm sorry please forgive me" he said

"can I see you Carlos... I need to see you. Now, please. I need you" I said beginning to cry.

The line was silent for several seconds.

"sav... I can't be what you want me to be... I will come round tomorrow... First thing, I promise okay. Its late you should get some sleep" he said.

"are you with her... Tammi?" I asked feeling sick.

"no sav, she left realising I was still sheridens lap dog. I'm at home now, on my own" he said reassuringly.

"Carlos ... I need you" I sobbed.

"I will see you in the morning sav.. Promise... I'm gonna say bye now honey, is Kenzie staying with you?" He asked.

"yeah she is... She has left Logan... Because of me" I said breaking down in tears, I looked at my sister, she sat on the edge of my bed and had her own tears streaming down her face.

"its not your fault sav, Logan was out of order..." Carlos said

"I'm going to have to go, kenz needs me" I said looking at my sister now in floods of tears.

"take care sav... Night honey" he replied.

"goodnight Carlos" I wept and hung up the phone then gave my sister a hug, she cried so much for Logan.

"I would offer to go wake him up but I don't think he could talk much sense... I feel so bad, and I know how much he loves you" I whispered as she cried in my arms.

We didn't say much else, once we had calmed our tears down we lay in the bad and drifted off to sleep. It really was just like how's we used to be, Mackenzie was my best friend as well as my sister.  
She would always try and protect me, and help me through anything.

I wasnt sure how much sleep she got but she was awake when I woke up in the day light.

My mouth was So dry from the booze last night.

"morning" she said giving me a half smile.

"hey" I said rubbing my face, trying to clear my head.

"you look like my double sav, its ridiculous" she said.

I smiled at her.  
"I'm going to grab a shower" I said and made my way out of the room, I felt embarrassed and upset with myself for the things I had done last night.

After spending a good half hour in the bathroom trying to pick off the crystals from my back and having a lengthy stay under the hot running water of the shower I wrapped myself in a gown and made my way back to my guest room.

I opened the door and walked in on both my sister and Logan in tears.

"I'm sorry" I blurted out

"can you give us a minute sav" my sister said.

"sure" I replied and closed the door again and went downstairs to the kitchen. James was Sat at the table.

He smiled at me  
"Sheriden not awake yet" I asked.

"she stayed at paisleys last night, kendall had drunk to much, and pais isn't ready to be left with Ophelia on her own yet. It was Mackenzies idea when I went round last night to get her for you" he said.

I nodded

"savannah I'm sorry for everything, Sheriden ... She just doesn't think a lot of the time" he tried to explain.

"I don't blame Sheriden" I said.

"do you want something to eat? Cereal? fruit?" He asked.

I shook my head "my head is spinning, I couldn't stomach any food"

James nodded.  
"Logan was a state this morning are they sorting stuff out up there?"

"I walked in on them both in tears... I will never forgive myself if I was the reason that they broke up... They were so in love" I said.

"they will work it out" James said.

"are you and Sheriden okay? You were really angry last night" I asked.

James smiled "we are fine, spent most the night talking on the phone. She will be home soon."

"I'm going to sit out in the garden if that's okay, I can't do much until I can grab some clothes from my room" I said tightening the belt from my robe around my waist.

"sure thing" James replied.

I sat on the lounger in the garden letting the suns rays warm me up, I dozed in and out of sleep until I noticed something blocking the sun from me, I opened my eyes to see Carlos stood over me.  
I sat up and he perched himself on the edge of my lounger.

"hows the head?" He greeted me with.

"awful" I replied.

Carlos slung an arm round me and I buried myself in his shoulder, he gave me a kiss on the forehead.

"I wish I could turn back time and undo a lot of things savannah... I didn't mean to hurt you, I'm so sorry I did." He said.

"Carlos I'm just going to be honest and tell you that I like you... Like really like you, I want to be yours" I said wiping a stray tear away.

Carlos squeezed me a little tighter with his arm.  
"savannah I really do like you too, if things were different then I would jump at the chance of being with you, me and you are two of the same huh" he said.

"what do you mean if things were different, do you mean because I was raped?" I whispered in to his shirt.

"what? no silly, Jesus I would never let that get in the way of how I feel about you, that just makes me want to protect you even more"

"what needs to be different then?" I asked.

Carlos took his arm from around me and held my hand,  
"the way I feel about your sister... I'm sorry savannah"

I looked up at him, he stared straight back at me.

"because you hate her? That's silly" I said.

Carlos shook his head " I don't hate her sav. I'm still in love with her. I'm sorry... "

I nodded.  
"okay... Should of seen that one coming... bet you loved all this yesterday kissing me huh" I said tugging at my red hair.

"savannah I'm sorry, I said I didn't want to Kiss u you from the beginning. It was confusing for me." He argued.

"well... I don't mind, its win win, I get you and you get someone that looks like Mackenzie" I said clutching at straws.

Carlos shook his head "don't be silly savannah" he said.

"I'm sorry... I need you, your the only thing that makes me feel normal" I cried, wiping more tears away.

"savannah you are so young and so beautiful, it won't take you Long to forget about me making you feel normal. Your strong." He whispered giving my forehead another kiss.

I looked up and saw Sheriden standing at the entrance to the garden. She smiled at me.

" I think she has an apology for you" Carlos said.

I looked at him " I need you Carlos, how am I going to cope"

"I'm still going to be here, we can still hang out. Just have to lay off the kissing" he smiled.

"can I have one last one?" I asked as I looked at him.

Carlos took my chin in his hand and guided me towards him, he kissed me softly, I never wanted it to end. I couldn't understand how nice it felt, how well we connected and yet he still didn't want to be with me.

As our tongues caressed each other gently, he pulled away from me and gave me one last kiss on the lips.

"give her hell" he said as Sheriden still stood at the door now pretending to find something very interesting on her feet to look at.

"will you come with me" I asked him.

"course I will" he said taking my hand and standing up.

Carlos walked with me in to the kitchen.

"savannah take a seat" Sheriden said pointing to the little dining table that Sat in the kitchen.

I sat down "Sheriden you really don't have to explain anything, last night was all my own doings, I got drunk, I kissed Logan, I messed up" I said.

Sheriden nodded " maybe so, but James was right I've let you down, I'm no better than the people that 'looked' after me" she said using air quotes.

"on a brighter note, you won the bet with Carlos on your dramatic entry to the red carpet" she said turning the lap top around that was sat on the table.

It was a cracking picture of me locked in a steamy kiss with Carlos with my finger up at the btr fans. With the headline Diva Davies.

I smiled, so did Carlos,

"personally I don't know if I prefer that picture or this one" she said clicking the button to the next photograph of me in a full leg spin on the pole

"as far as I've seen I don't think any lap dance pictures have made it on anywhere... Savannah I really am sorry... Both you guys I'm sorry" she said looking at Carlos and I.

"Sheriden your never going to change but I think its time you left me out of your games now" Carlos said.

"I'm sorry Los" she said giving him a hug.

"James and I would like to take you both out for lunch if you feel up to it" she said.

"no I've got to get going today Sheriden, I've got some people to see things to sort out" Carlos said.

"oh that's a shame" Sheriden said

"yeah I best get going actually... Sav can I have a word before I do... I will see you guys later" Carlos said to James and Sheriden then pulled me away by the wrist and out on to the grand entrance of the mansion.

"come here" he said giving me a hug. "if you wanna chat or hang out or just need a shoulder to cry on sav I'm just at the end of the phone okay"

"okay" I repeated.

"sav, I know Sheriden fucked up last night saying about you being my date for her wedding... I still stand by what I said and I can't think of anyone more fun that I honestly want to go with... Will you still go with me" he said giving my hand a squeeze.

Before I could reply we were interrupted by Logan coming down the spiral stair case.

"logues all okay" I said as he headed straight for the door.

Logan turned around, his eyes red still from the crying he had been doing talking to my sister.

"I'm sorry savannah, look after her for me yeah" he said then walked out the door.

I looked at Carlos, he pulled me in for a hug "its not your fault savannah" he whispered.

"what have I done?... I'm going to have to talk some sense in to her" I said letting go of Carlos.

Carlos nodded.  
"she is better off without him sav" he replied.

"I've Gotta go, I will call you soon yeah" I said then dashed up stairs.

I gave my guest room door a little knock then walked in. Mackenzie was just sat on the bed still.

"kenz what have you done" I asked.

"I didn't do anything savannah... Logan did. I've got to get going and get my things from his house, I'm moving back in to the salon apartment..." She said.

"Mackenzie you don't know what your saying, you love Logan, you know you do" I argued.

"yeah I do savannah, but Logan has just told me some things and its because I love him that I'm going to have a serious think about what relationship I have with him.." She said.

"what? What things did he tell you... Mackenzie he loves you!"

"I've got to get going... I will call you later savannah okay. I love you, come round this evening and we will talk everything through" she said then shoved some things back in her purse and walked out the room.

I sat on the bed and cried.  
How had I ruined so many things so quickly.

I got dressed and did my hair and make up. Then made my way down stairs, I told Sheriden that I wasnt in the mood to eat anything so lunch would be a waste of time.

"savannah I would still like to talk to your mom about the modelling contract. Is she coming to visit anytime soon" Sheriden asked.

"Mackenzie phoned her the other day, she isn't happy about any of it. I wouldn't recommend trying to meet up with her Sheriden, she will talk you out of wanting me, I can give you her number if you like but I'm a big girl now. Its up to me what I do huh" I said.

"yeah I guess, savannah are you okay? I'm sorry everything is such a mess, stay strong okay" she said giving me a hug

"I think I might go home for a while, to see my mom, maybe if everyone had a break from me things will fix themselves... Everything was fine until I came to LA" I said aloud.

"maybe seeing your mom will do you good" Sheriden said.

I looked at her and nodded.

I then walked back upstairs and packed up the little belongings I did have. I've was feeling very sorry for myself. I had just enough money for a one way plane to my moms. Running away seemed easy.


	11. Chapter 11

**Mackenzies story **

"well what did she say kenz" paisley asked me as I sat on her sofa still in shock from the drunken phone call I had just recieved from my sister.

"she said Logan and her kissed, Logans drunk... They kissed" I repeated what savannah had just slurred down the phone to me.

"oh my god... What the fuck is going on?" Paisley said.

"I have no idea, I will phone him, he promised me he wouldn't drink pais"

I got my phone and dialled Logans number.

it answered but no one spoke.  
"Logan are you there?"

"Sav?" Logan said.

"no its Mackenzie, what the fuck is going on, savannah has just phoned me and said you kissed her? Did you?"

"yeah I did kiss her, baby" he said.

"why did you, what was it just a quick kiss or?"

"no she gave me a kiss to say thanks, then I gave her a kiss back. Then she gave me a lap dance and I kissed her again... It was an accident she looks just like you, I wish you had of come out baby. I'm a bit drunk..." He slurred.

"you had a lap dance from Savannah?" I snapped.

"yeah... Kenz I don't feel great, can you pick me up?"

"what? No I am not picking you up, you said you wouldn't drink Logan, you promised me."

"I'm sorry, I had a few drinks before the show back stage then Sheriden said I should..." I cut him off.

"Sheriden... Fucking Sheriden, well you can get Sheriden to give you a lift home Logan. I'm finished with this shit"

"Kenzie don't be like that, I messed up that's all"

"no Logan, we talked about this, you even said your drinking too much, now look what's happened"

"Kenzie I didn't fuck her... Jesus, it was only a kiss"

"only a kiss, Logan how many other girls have you only shared a kiss with behind my back... Tell you what I don't care. We are finished Logan" I Said and pressed end call then burst in to tears.

"Mackenzie!... Honey come here... What did he say?" Paisley said giving me a hug.

"he said he had a lap dance from my sister and they kissed. He sounds so pissed... He promised me he wouldn't drink. He has a bit of a problem, you won't tell anyone will you pais" I cried.

"a drink problem or a woman one?" She asked.

"drink, but I guess he hasn't changed at all has he" I sniffed.

"I don't know Kenzie" paisley said as Ophelia started crying.

"did you want me to get her?" I asked, paisley still looked exhausted from her mental breakdown.

"no I will be fine" she smiled and walked up the stairs to get Ophelia out of her crib.

My god what have I done, I've just ended things with the person that means the world to me, but do I mean the world to him.  
In one night Logan has broken two promises to me. what was savannah thinking? The stupid bitch.

Paisley walked down the stairs with Ophelia in her arms.

"so I guess sheridens party isn't going too great, glad I'm not there, I was really looking forward to it before I lost the plot" she Said sitting down on the sofa.

"you didn't lose the plot paisley, you have an illness" I said

paisley shrugged.

Ophelia didn't want to settle back down after she had woken up. She didn't want feeding or burping or anything she just wanted to cry.

this went on for well over an hour, it was hard trying to keep paisley motivated and try and insist that it wasnt her fault, she looked very emotional but I didn't want to have to call kendall because she couldn't cope.

The door knocked, I took Ophelia from a very worn out looking paisley "if that's Logan I don't want to see him pais" I insisted.  
She nodded.

It wasn't Logan at the door it was James.

"hey how are you, what brings you here James" paisley said giving him a hug.

"I need to talk to Mackenzie" was all he said looking right at me.

"James I will talk to Logan tomorrow, I really have no desire to want to hear his stupid excuses right now, I have more important things to be doing" I said still trying to sooth Ophelia from her constant crying.

"its not about Logan" James said walking up and taking Ophelia "its your sister.

"I don't want to even talk about that bitch right now James" I said watching as he worked his magic on Ophelia. He stopped her from crying then handed her to paisley who was sat on the sofa. Paisley smiled up at him.

"its important, something happened to her last week... Can we talk in private?" He added.

I looked at paisley, she shrugged and nodded to the kitchen.

"fine" I announced then walked in to the kitchen followed closely by James.

"kenz I know everything that's happened must seem really odd, but savannah got herself caught up in some really stupid stuff. Its because of that that tonight has got so out of hand... Logan has been trying to look after her but they both got so drunk tonight."

"James I've already said I don't want to hear the shit excuses, so spare me. I doubt anything that exciting can happen in savannahs life that needs the attention of you, Sheriden, Carlos and now my own boyfriend... I blame Sheriden you know, she is just trying to get one over on me, just like Carlos. Your all welcome to each other" I snapped.

"Mackenzie last week your sister was raped... By two men. She refused to call the police, she is trying her best I think to forget it ever happened but I believe what has happened tonight is a cry for help. She is scared stiff of strangers, and she has latched on to the people that helped her which is Carlos and Sheriden" the words flowed out of James but I couldn't take them all in.

"what do you mean raped? She wasnt raped!" I said my knees feeling weak.

James pulled a chair out for me to sit on.

"I'm sorry Mackenzie, she was assaulted at the back of a night club, she phoned Carlos for help, he brought her to us... She was a state, Sheriden looked after her, help her wash, she was hurt pretty bad because of it. She saw sheridens doctor the morning after" James continued.  
"Sheriden messed up big time tonight, I agree with you that She was to blame for everything that happened this evening... She messed up but she was honestly just trying to help your sister"

"is she still with Logan at the party?" I asked.

"no she is at my house with Logan, I drove them back just a minute ago... Logues is sick"

" does Logan know about her being raped?"

James nodded.

"why didn't he tell me?" I said starting to cry. "I have no idea who he is anymore, why didn't he tell me... I need to see her" I said looking at James.

I walked out in to the living room and got my bag and put my shoes on, I grabbed my car keys.

"Mackenzie I don't think you should drive, I will take you" James said.

"well fine, let's just go then please" I said then realised that would leave paisley on her own.

She looked up at me and then to James. "guys I feel fine but I honestly don't think I could cope if something went wrong... I don't want to be left on my own with her" paisley spoke quietly to not wake her daughter who had just fallen to sleep in her arms.

"no that's fine pais, James is going to phone his girlfriend and she can come and spend some time with you instead of making lives a misery at her fancy fucking party" I said sternly.

James didn't say anything he just got his phone out of his pocket then walked back out to the kitchen and closed the door.

I sat down on the other sofa and sobbed.

"Mackenzie what's happened, she didn't sleep with Logan did she?" Paisley said quietly.

I shook my head.

"okay well whatever it is she has done I'm sure everything will be okay" she said just as James walked back in to the room.

"Sheri is on her way" he said."Do you want me to take her pais" James said to paisley who looked exhausted.

"if you could get her in her crib James that would be awesome... You have the magic touch" paisley smiled.

He smiled back and took Ophelia from paisleys arms and looked at the baby with big doe eyes.  
"Sheri says its my voice, she thinks it relaxes her. Ophelia didn't want to go to sleep for Sheriden the other night either but I sang her a little song and she went out like a light" he smiled.

"well I will have to play her some btr tomorrow night" paisley smiled.

James took Ophelia up to the bedroom then came down a few minutes later just as Sheriden let herself in with a key.

"hey" she said to James.

"Ophelia is asleep in bed, kendall has been drinking so its probably best if you stayed here the night" James said calmly with out looking at her.

They had obviously had some kind of arguement which made James go up in my books as he could actually see though sheridens falseness. I always considered him to have no back bone and be under her thumb constantly

"bye James, thanks for putting Ophelia down for me" paisley said.

James smiled at her then walked out.

The journey in the car to bel air was quick the traffic was clear, we walked in to the house and went in to one of the many ridiculous rooms that a house with only two occupants in it Www should not supply. I noticed Logan passed out in a chair with a bucket next to him. He made the entire room smell like sick.  
s  
My sister was in the opposite chair, James woke her up and told her that I now knew the tragedies that had entered her life.

I could now see what had been bothering me for the past few days, I thought it was her getting involved with Carlos. But I now realised the scared look in her eye that I had noticed the day she came in to the salon with Sheriden. A part of my sister had gone, it had died inside her.

I threw my self at my sister and hugged her and cried. I felt so awful for not being there for her.

We went up to her room and chatted about a few things, I stayed the night bunked up in her bed, I had always looked out for her but as i now watched her sleep I realised she wasnt my silly little sister anymore, she was a beautiful young woman.

I couldn't sleep at all that night, I lay awake thinking about Logan and I. Savannah talked in her sleep a lot too, mostly mumbles but I could hear her say Carlos' name a lot. I wondered what was going on between him and her. Hopefully nothing too serious,

Savannah woke up and grabbed a shower, I tidied my hair up just as there was a knock at the bedroom door.

Logan poked his head through.  
"can we talk?" He asked with a very gruff hung over voice.

"I think we need to huh" I replied softly.

Logan walked in and sat on the bed next to me.

We sat there not knowing what to say for a few minutes.

"why didn't you tell me about sav? About what those men did to her?" I finally asked.

"she asked me not too, what could I do, she is so fucked up about it... I am sorry I couldn't tell you, but I promised her" he said.

"You promised her? Babe what about what you promised me, you promised me you wouldn't drink, and you promised you wouldn't hurt me... How come you could break those promises?" I started to cry.

"Kenzie... Don't cry baby... I'm so sorry, I've ruined everything" he said pulling me in to his arms"

"I love you so much Logan, we have been through hell and back and you just throw it all away... With my sister of all fucking people" I sobbed in to his shoulder.

"kenz I don't want to throw it away... Please don't end it baby please" Logan begged his own eyes now letting tears out as he realised what his stupid actions had caused.

"what was the kiss like? Just a stupid peck or was it... Long" I asked.

"It was a proper kiss... Tongues, it was a stupid stupid mistake Mackenzie. I'm so sorry" he said pulling himself away from me.

"have you ever done anything with..." The door opened and savannah walked in to the room.

"can you give us a minute sav" I asked

"sure" she replied.

once she had shut the door I carried on.  
"have you ever done anything with anyone since we have been together?" I asked.

Logan shook his head "no I haven't I promise... Being totally honest with you Mackenzie, if Carlos hadn't of come in this room savannah and I was in last night I would of tried to fuck her... " he said.

"what? Why are you saying this?" I cried, sobs falling out of me.

"I don't know, I'm telling you the truth before she does. I was so drunk... I don't know what's going on with me. ... I love you, and your all I want and all I I can look at girls all day and just imagine what I could do, paisley offered it to me on a plate, I knew she wasnt well, but I still parked up outside her house for ages deciding if I should knock and fuck her senseless, I didn't do it but I really fucking thought about it kenz. Then savannah, Jesus... I knew what she had been through aswell. I'm not right in the head" he said.

"what do you mean paisley offered it to you on a plate? ... Fuck sake. What made you not go in?, the thought of her baby, the thought of kendall or the fact that she has gone fucking bananas" I shouted.

"you... I thought of you Mackenzie. But last night with the drink, I just couldn't of cared less. Nothing seemed to matter. I was kissing your sister in front of a room full of people. I just didn't care"

"why is this happening Logan, you said you were happy with me" .

"baby I love you. You know how I feel about you. I don't want to throw it all away" he said looking me in the eye.

I stroked his sad looking face, he was still my Logan, still the cocky handsome hilarious guy I had fallen in love with.

"what are you gonna do Kenzie?" He whispered.

I looked at him, my eyes filled with tears, "I love you so much logues but you have hurt me so much too. I've been awake all night trying to figure out what I need to do. I can't get my head straight, I need time to think, I'm sorry"

"What do you mean your sorry? Thinking is good, thinking isn't breaking up with me. Is it?" He said.

"I dont know what I'm doing. I need to sort my head out and you need to sort yours out, maybe its best if I moved out and back in to the salon apartment" I sighed.

"please don't do that Kenzie. You have no idea how much I love you" he pleaded.

"Logan I have a rough idea how much you love me but it doesn't stop you trying to have sex with other people... Its ridiculous, I can't go through life wondering what your up to on tour or out of state... I can't. Im not saying its over I'm just saying we both need some time out"

"Mackenzie I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Please baby... Please don't do this" he cried collapsing on my shoulder.

"Logues... Baby, cmon. Listen to me, I'm not saying its over I'm saying I need time to get over this and seeing your face twentyfourseven isn't going to help me. It will only be for a little while. I'm not letting you go, but you need to think if I'm actually what you want Logan, I'm not being funny but if you got mixed up and fell in love with someone else because of a one night stand, I'm left with nothing, you own everything I am. Realistically I'm being dumb even saying I'm thinking about breaking up with you."

"Mackenzie I would never take anything like that away from you, even if things got so messed up... I wouldn't. Look, take some time, think about what we have and think that I'm gonna make everything perfect between us... Just promise you will come back to me... Promise" he said taking my hands.

"I can't promise that Logan. I just need you to realise what is on the line next time you fuck up, this isn't a break where you can screw other girls either... I want us to work out baby but I need to trust you, at the moment I don't... I'm sorry. I will collect a few things from yours in a bit"

"what about your asthma Kenzie, I don't want you on your own... Please. Oh God please" he cried

"if I get bad I will call you okay, I'm still gonna talk to you silly, I can't just shut everything out, I'm still in love with you Logan."

"any time of day or night kenz. at least promise me that, even if its just a little wheeze... Your attacks scare the shit out of me."

"logues I promise... Stop crying silly" I laughed, as my own tears still fell.

"I'm sorry I fucked up Mackenzie" he whispered then he leaned in to kiss me.

It wasn't his normal seductive kiss, it wasn't leading up to anything which most of our kisses did. This kiss was an apology, it was an I love you Mackenzie, please forgive me kiss.

I pulled away from him.

"you should get going" I said.

"I don't want to go just incase this is the last time I get to be with you" he said kissing my forehead.

I gave him a hug. "It won't be the last time Logan, I will see you later when I get my stuff" I said.

"I don't want to be there for that Kenzie, I don't want to see it" he whispered in to my ear as he hugged me.

I smiled "your a silly bastard aren't you Logan Henderson" I said giving him another big squeeze. "I'm only going to be ten minutes down the road"

"ten minutes to long though" he said.

I let go of Logan and got comfy on the bed. " come down here and hold me for a bit, I'm not ready to go yet either" I smiled.

Logan lay on the bed and rested his head on the pillow next to me.

I wiped his face and kissed his nose.

"your amazing Macks" he said looking at my face.

I smiled at the name, he hardly ever called me Macks, usually it was only my dad that called me it. "why am I amazing" I whispered.

"Coz I'm the one that fucks up and your still here trying to cheer me up, your too good for me" he said.

"I love you logie, nothing can change that, I don't Like to see you hurting"

Logan gave me a small smile and kissed me on the lips. "how long do you think you will need to think about the shit I've caused?"

"I don't know... Do you actually fancy savannah?"

Logan frowned "course I don't, she is mental, its never crossed my mind before to think of her like that, I've always liked being the kind of big brother role... She looked just like you last night, I wanted her to be you... I do miss that you don't come out with me, I like showing you off baby" he said taking one of my hands and caressing it.

"she does look like me, I got a shock when I saw her... Is it an issue then? That I dont like going to these parties with you?" I asked.

"no its not an issue but I tried not going out, everyone moaned that they never saw me, and then I tried going out with out you and look how that ended, I snogged your sister... I'm such a dick" he said.

I sat up a bit on the bed and rested my head on my arm.

"well these are all things that I'm going to have to think about" I said snuggling in to the crook under his neck.

We stayed cuddled up on the bed for sometime, just taking each other in. Making the moment last, I felt let down but I didn't want to lose him.

When the time came to finally say goodbye we shared a hug and Logan left the room gradually letting go of my hand, he had said he wouldn't go back home straight away then he wouldn't be in to see me get my things.

I tipped the contents of my purse out to find my phone quickly to call a cab. After the call i just sat there collecting my thoughts, my sister made a reappearance and moaned at my choices. I didn't feel she had any right to speak about it really.

I left, got in the cab and got a bunch of my things and returned to the little apartment above my salon...well Logans salon, he had bought the premises and had it kitted out for me just so I could be with him. It seemed like such a long time ago but was only just a matter of months.

I tidied the place up, savannah had left it in a complete mess... Shit savannah!  
I had got caught up in my own misfortune that I had forgotten how much she must need me right now. I tried calling her several times on her cell but it was switched off.

My head went in to overdrive worrying so I reluctantly phoned Sheriden Lloyd.

"Sheriden? Hi, its Mackenzie, is my sister with you? Her phone is switched off" I asked the she-devil has-been model.

"Mackenzie... Hi, errr, no she left about an hour ago to catch a flight to your moms, I thought she would of told you... She seemed pretty down today. I'm worried about her" she replied

"your worried about her?... You? I doubt that, your just worried she will see sense and not make you any extra cash" I spat back at her.

"if that's all Mackenzie I'm going to have to go" she said with no emotion down the phone.

"I'm sorry if my sisters welfare is an inconvenience to you while you prepare for your publicity stunt wedding" I hissed down the phone to her.

"Mackenzie I'm aware that you have a lot to deal with right now, my wedding its no concern of yours seeing as you have declined my invitation leaving Logan to go alone yet again, but just for the purposes of this conversation I have a lot to deal with also, I have to go now because I'm seeing my spinal doctor, because I have been in a whole load of pain for over a week" she started crying at me down the phone "and I have been living off of pain killers that don't even touch the sides of it trying to keep it from James. So yes I guess I am trying my best to be prepared and able to walk down the isle on my wedding day." She sobbed and hung up on me

I slammed my phone on the table, annoyed that she had made me feel bad.

I got my head together and got on with working in the salon. That's how the next few days went by, got up, worked then spent my evenings in with the TV then cry myself to sleep thinking about Logan.  
I hadn't spoken to Logan, only text him. I had called savannah but I felt angry with her each time we spoke. She always sounded cheery on the phone but I could tell she was hiding her feelings but she refused to talk about what had happened to her with mom nearby.

8 days after I moved out of Logans my breathing became bad at work, it was late afternoon, and so hot outside. I went home early from the salon leaving one of my girls, tegan to finish up and lock up for me.

I knew it was going to be a bad one even before it got out of hand. None of my inhalers were having any effect. So I did as I promised and called Logan.

"hey I'm having a bad one. Could you come over?" I wheezed at him down the phone.

"I'm on my way baby" was all he replied and hung up. he must of gunned it down here in his car, it only took him a few minutes to arrive.

He let himself in with the key and came up to the apartment, he looked at my teary scared face and pulled me in to him.

"Kenzie I'm here now, I'm gonna look after you" he said in to the top of my head as he held me in his arms then let go and had a good look at me.

He searched my face then took a few seconds to listen to me wheeze.  
"Kenzie I don't think its as bad as you think it is, your panicking which is making it worse... I've seen you so much worse than this baby girl" he said quite sternly.

I did feel panicked and scared but it still didn't help my airways get oxygen in to me knowing it may just be in my head this time.

"Mackenzie listen to me. This entire apartment is kitted out with air con, and its fucking freezing in here, its amazing cool air that your breathing in, and you can breathe it in, your having a panic attack not an asthma attack okay. nothing bad is happening" he said and passed me my inhaler.

I took another puff from it as Logan held my hand and breathed in slowly. He knew the drill now, he would guide me out of an attack if he could. But he did know when it was time to go to the emergency room. he was right, this wasnt as bad as I thought. I was tired and emotional.  
My body needed a time out.

Once I was taking in some good deep breaths I felt better, my lips tingled, I hated that feeling.

"you look so tired Kenzie. I think you should get yourself in to bed. I'm going to phone tegan and she can rearrange your clients tomorrow. You need to take a day off" he said pulling me off the sofa and guiding me in my room. I was already in my pyjamas so Logan pulled the covers back and I got in.  
I was tired out from crying too, its amazing how tired you can actually get from just crying.

Logan tucked me in, I didn't say a word I was still trying to concentrate on getting some good deep breaths in me.

Logan walked out the room. I could hear him chatting on the phone, I gathered he was talking to tegan about opening up for me tomorrow.

he popped his head in my room.  
"tegan is going to sort everything out tomorrow so you can get yourself rested up kenz okay" he smiled.

"thanks" I smiled back.

"I'm gonna sleep on the sofa tonight, I don't want to leave you... If that's okay?" He said.

"Logan would you mind just laying with me, I don't want to be on my own" I said.

Logan smiled and walked fully in to the room and lay on my bed, he was still fully clothed and had his baseball cap on but he let me snuggle in to him.

I realised how much I missed him, I knew I did miss him, but now I had him back I knew I didn't want to lose him.

"you feeling better?" He asked

I nodded "thanks to you, I'm a mess without you Logan. I don't think I've got a choice to not forgive you for what happened. I need you"

"I think I need you more kenz, I've been thinking about us none stop. I've got a few suggestions that might help ease your mind if you want to hear them out" he whispered to me and tucked me in under the covers, the air out side really was freezing from the air conditioning.

"I think my mind needs easing" I replied with a smile as I lay tucked up like a little cocoon in his arms. I could fell his warmth against my body even though he was still on top of the covers.

"well for starters, I'm giving up drinking. I'm fine unless I've got a drink inside me so that is half the problem gone already. Secondly, I know its obvious but I would like the world to know we are together. I like Mackogan" he chuckled "if there is a doubt in any ones mind that I am your guy then I want it gone".

"I can't believe you just said the word Mackogan" I laughed looking up at him. Mackogan is the name the fans give us as a couple. I get a load of them in the salon just wanting simple cuts to ask me questions about Logan. We have always just said we are friends even though its pretty obvious its more.

Logan snuggled down the bed so he was at eye level with me, he was smiling "Kenzie, Mackogan is the most important thing in the world to me right now... You and me, me and you. I love you baby girl"

"I love you too logues. I've got a few suggestions too. Its not all your fault, maybe I should go out publicly with you more, you tried not going out, so maybe I should try going out. Meet you half way... The other thing is, how much do you like the red hair, Coz I'm thinking its time for a change because of savannah, but I need to know your not going to be secretly drooling over her because she looks like your sexy fantasy of me"

"going out with me sounds amazing and changing your hair sounds good too... Between you and me its not really the red heads I go for, its the brunettes" he chuckled.

"brunette huh? I'm sure that can be arranged... When do you leave for the wedding?" I asked.

"in two days" he replied.

"okay well tell Sheriden that if its still okay I would like to accompany you to the farce that its her marriage to James... But I can't travel up until the Friday evening, so I will be a day behind you... Is that okay?" I said to him followed by a yawn.

"really? You will come with me... That's great. Thanks kenz... I will tell Sheriden, not about her wedding being a farce obviously, she might hit me. Did you want me to stay until Friday evening instead of you travelling on your own?"

"no, your doing that sky dive thing up there aren't you, you can't miss that its for charity" I said getting comfy laying my head on his shoulder. He smelt lovely, it was my favourite smell in the world.

Logan gave me a squeeze in his arms " Kenzie... Are we together again now?" He asked in a whisper.

"I would like us to be, if you know you still love me... I still love you"

"I still love you too baby." He said then pulled the cover out from underneath him and got in to bed with me, chucking his hat off to one side and removed his shirt then he buried himself underneath the covers and I snuggled back in to his bare chest.  
I ran my hands over it underneath the warmth of the blankets.  
My Logan was so perfect, so sexy. He has his flaws, but I did know that when we got together. Its because of his flaws that we did hook up.

The world is soon going to see Mackogan for the real deal because I'm not going to lose him to anyone, especially my own sister.


	12. Chapter 12

**Savannahs story**

"what are you doing here Carlos?" I said as I opened the front door to my moms house.

"I wanted to see you, you stopped calling me back, I was worried about you sav".

I gave him a weak smile "come on in, my mom is at work" I said closing the door behind him as he walked in to the hallway.

I walked back in to the front room where I had been sat.

Carlos smiled at the TV. "is this what you have been doing for days? Playing Mario Kart?" He joked.

I shook my head.

"sav... What's happened? Where has your spark gone huh?" He asked.

I ignored his question "how did you know where my mom lived?" I asked.

"Logan told me, I did ask Mackenzie but she told me to get lost" Carlos replied.

I nodded.

"they will get back together" he assured me. "why did you come back here?"

I shrugged "I guess I can live where I like doing what Sheriden wants, I don't have to stay in LA. I signed the contract, She sent it in the post for me"

"that's good... Why don't you sound pleased sav, what's wrong?"

"I'm just trying to get to grips with everything, I can't spend all my life goofing around not thinking about consequences" I said sitting on the carpeted floor of the living room, using the sofa as a back rest.

"savannah your 18, no one is expecting you to take anything seriously. Carry on as you are, its perfect" he said and sat on the sofa.

"why did you come here Carlos?"

"I came because I want to whisk you away for a weekend of fun in Las Vegas... Sheriden and James' wedding remember, your my date" he said scootching down from the sofa to the floor next to me

"I'm not going, I don't want to go out anywhere" I said.

"course you do savannah, I miss you, I miss your disgusting foul mouth, and I Miss us messing around together" he said smiling.

"no you don't Carlos"

"I do, I really do and if you say you will come with me to Vegas I promise we will do some crazy shit, totally insane... Promise sav. I know you want to... Its who you are"

"how crazy?" I smiled.

"that's better, I miss that smile" he said.

"I missed your smile too... " I replied.

he looked at me for a few seconds."I can have you taken up in a plane and chucked out... Sky diving crazy... How does that sound?" He said.

"can I put it all on twitter to annoy your fans?" I asked.

"I wouldn't expect anything less sav" he chuckled.

"Carlos. I have really missed you. you are the only person that I can be myself with" a tear escaped from my eye as I spoke.

"hey come on, savannah this isn't you. Where has all the fight gone in you, don't let those bastards beat you down... Have you told your mom about what happened" he asked.

I shook my head.  
"I just feel so unsafe all the time, I'm scared to go out, I'm scared to look at faces just incase I see them again. They have ruined my life Carlos"

"no they haven't, your only thinking like that now because you've only had your self to talk to about it for the last week or so, savannah get ya bag packed get a nice dress for the wedding in there, I'm taking you to Vegas to have some fun okay. I won't ever hurt you or let anyone else try to. I promise, do you believe me?" He said taking my hand as we both sat on the floor.

I nodded.

"good, now get ya shit together, we have a plane to catch.

I packed a bag and called my mom telling her where I was off to. She seemed pleased oddly enough, I guessed it was mainly so she could be alone with her boyfriend again but she had noticed how miserable I had been.

"thanks for this Carlos" I said giving him a kiss on the cheek as we waited in the departure lounge.

He smiled his cute little smile back at me. " your welcome... How come you always call me Carlos, usually I'm Los by day two of someone meeting me" he said.

"it reminds me of my sister, that's how she would end her phone calls from you 'love you Los' she would always say"

Carlos looked at me "you still got the hots for me then?"he smiled.

I sighed "yeah... I figured its because you are my knight in shining armour that rescued me, not because your good looking or anything" I said sarcastically.

Carlos nodded "I don't mind being your fairy tale romance" he said." Your a lot more fun than you're sister ever was, and ever since you left LA I've been pining away for you"

"your only saying that to cheer me up" I argued.

"I'm not sav, now I'm the one saying that I like you, really like you... And I wanna take it a day at a time with you" he said taking my hand.

"you want to go out with me? Just because I've left LA?"

"no, you leaving LA made me realise that your not your sister, your you, and I want you"

"I want you too... I'm scared though" I admitted.

"day at a time savannah. You will be fine... I promise" he said giving me a kiss on the forehead which ended in a kiss on the lips.

"what crazy shit do you really want to do in Vegas?" He smiled.

"I don't know but I don't fancy the sky dive thing, are you actually doing that?" I asked.

"yeah I am, I've booked it, my brother and the guys are doing it with me for charity, I'm sure I can talk you in to it you know" he said.

I laughed, "I will do a sky dive with you if you do something even crazier"

"like what?"he smiled standing up and slinging my hand luggage over his shoulder then picking his own up. It was time to board the plane.

I slipped my hand in to his free one. "I dare you to get a tattoo of my name... Can be any where you like on your body"

Hmmm, seems a little unfair, I think you should get one of my name... We are dating after all" he laughed.

"I wouldn't mind doing that, I would get it on my ass" I laughed.

"oh there she is, and she is back!" Carlos joked.

"fuck off Los" I said nudging him at my first turn of using his shortened name.

he laughed at me "see! now your fuck off Los already means more than the I love you Los shit your sister fed me" he said.

"yeah I mean it for starters" I smiled.

"I hope you do... It means so much to me" he said sarcastically.

Once on the plane we had a laugh and a joke about what sheridens wedding may be like.

The flight was only short and it only took us half hour in a cab to get from the airport to the Belle point hotel, where sheridens wedding would be taking place in a couple of days.

Carlos walked up to reception with me.

"hey! I would like to check in. I have a room booked under Pena" Carlos said to the receptionist inside the hotel.

"certainly Mr Pena, if you can just pop your card in the machine" the receptionist said, and Carlos did as he was told.

"there is your key card, you are on the second floor, just head for the lift and go through to the double doors on your right" the lady said pointing to the elevator.

"excellent, I would also like to book another room too please" Carlos said to the receptionist.

"I'm sorry Mr Pena but the hotel is fully booked, we have a rather high profile wedding taking place this weekend" she said.

"you can't be fully booked, I called you guys yesterday and I was told there would be rooms" Carlos argued.

"Mr Pena I am very sorry but we are completely booked up now. The only thing I can suggest is the Eugenio plaza, it is our neighbouring hotel just ten minutes walk" she suggested.

"I'm not putting her in a different hotel" Carlos said through gritted teeth.

"Carlos its fine, I will be okay on my own, I've got my phone, come on" I said pulling him away from the desk.

"no its not okay, I can't just leave you in a strange place sav" he said.

"its only to sleep Carlos, don't worry"I said.

"but are you actually sleeping sav, or are you still laying awake thinking about shit" he said pulling me in the corner of the foyer.

"Carlos it doesn't matter, I promise" I said trying to not cause a scene.

"are you sure... Tell you what, fuck this place, I will book us two rooms at the other place, then I know you are safe and happy" he said.

"no, Carlos honestly I'm fine, let's dump your bags in your room and then go book mine... its fine come on" I said now pulling him over to the lift.

We got in and I pressed the button for the second floor,

Carlos held my hand with his free one again.

"where is your suit for the wedding?" I asked him.

"its getting delivered to my brothers room tomorrow morning" he answered.

"when are James and Sheriden getting here?" I said.

"I think they may already be here" he smiled.

The lift opened up and and we stepped out in to the corridor. We found Carlos' room and he swiped the door open.

"wow, look at this place! its a bit posh for you isn't it?" I laughed.

"hey I can do posh" Carlos mocked.

He put the bags down by the window that over looked on to the most enchanting garden I have ever seen.

"wow, it is beautiful out there" I said looking at the view.

"yeah it is really beautiful" Carlos said. I looked up at him and realised he wasnt looking out the window at all he was looking at me.

"sav come here" he said pulling me in for a hug.

"your sweet you know that, with the dumb ass things you say" I said in to his shoulder, enjoying the safety of his arms around me.

"I try" he whispered and kissed the top of my head.

"it is beautiful though isn't it " I sighed looking out the window again.

"tell you what, why don't you have this room and I will go to the other hotel, least then Logan is only a stones throw from your door if you do need anyone".

"no, I can't do that... I will be fine Carlos... If I was normal then this wouldn't even be an issue. It fucks me off" I moaned and walked away sitting on the edge of the bed.

"savannah don't say you're not normal, you are normal. You're just..." He struggled for a word.

"damaged goods?" I opted for.

Carlos sat down on the bed next to me."sav your not damaged, your recovering, im more than happy to just be doing this" he said taking hold of my hand "so don't ever feel like I want to rush you in to anything.

"I used to be so fucking sexy Carlos" I said.

"you still are sexy savannah... Look ... I have no clue as to how to help you get back to how you used to be, I don't even know what you were like to be honest, but any trust that you have left for anyone can be left in me, you know that sav. I know what you have been through and I'm taking it all on board when I'm alone with you."

"you have all my trust, you honestly think I would be sat on a bed with you if I thought for one second you would try it on" I said raising my eyebrow at him.

"savannah I will never try anything on unless you said it was okay" he said.

"I know, I do know this... Can I have a hug" I asked.

"course" Carlos replied.

Carlos held me and we kissed slowly Sat on the edge of his hotel bed. We stayed there for several minutes.

"how do you do that?" I finally asked.

"Do what?" He asked.

"not get carried away? Most guys couldn't kiss like that for so long without trying something" I said.

"you trying to trick me in to something?" He laughed "I have high tolerence for most things" he replied simply.

"Carlos would you find it odd if I asked to stay here with you tonight. But just cozied up, not... You know, sex... I'm being honest"

"I would like that" he said "I can sleep in the chair" he finished.

"I would Like to cuddle up with you though" I Said.

Carlos eyed me up "I guess it wouldn't be any different from me staying with you on the sofa at Sheridens  
,Come on let's go and do something fun, kendall and paisley will be here soon, did you want to meet up with them?" Carlos said standing up.

"no... You promised me a wild time, sitting around baby sitting isn't a wild time. I want to do something fucking nuts..." I said wrapping my arms around his waist.

He kissed me on my forehead " well its just gone 6pm, so we could go and have something to eat then you can help me spend a shit load of money in the casino whilst we get totally plastered and then get a tattoo of each others names on our asses" he laughed.

"deal... Do I still have to do the sky dive tomorrow?" I asked.

"yes you do" he said taking my hand and heading for the door.

Carlos took me to a really nice restaurant. We were incredibly underdressed for it which gave us the giggles.

"you want to get drunk sav?" Carlos asked.

I nodded and smirked at him.

Carlos ordered champagne and although it was only me drinking it because he was driving, the giggles we had turned in to hysterics and eventually people started to look at us.

As I scanned the room I noticed a familiar face.

"shit!" I said to Carlos a bit louder than I should.

"whassup?" He replied looking at my general direction in which my eyes fell.  
"oh, I see, its okay. Just say hi... SHERIDEN!" Carlos called over the room.

"shit what are you doing, she is going to go nuts that I've been drinking Carlos!" I said in a hushed tone.

"oh fuck yeah... Errr SHERIDEN DON'T WORRY" Carlos then shouted out much to his own amusement as he noticed people looking and Tutting at his brash behaviour, but she was already on her way over.

"hello you two this is a surprise, I didn't think you would be here until tomorrow when Antonio arrived" she said smiling at us both.

"Na, I called the hotel yesterday and changed my dates for my room, then picked sav up and flew in" he said smiling.

Sheriden smiled back then turned to me "how are you savannah?" She asked.

"I'm doing okay... Its good to have such caring friends" I replied.

"friends? I doubt Carlos would be wasting 400 dollars on champagne on just a friend" she said raising a knowing eyebrow.

Carlos kicked my foot under the table. It made me jump and I knocked my glass over. I stood up with an "oh fuck" popping out of my mouth as I did which Carlos starting laughing at then I got the giggles again.

"savannah, I'm going to turn a blind eye to this one, but I'm sure I don't have to remind you that you have signed that contract, I legally own you and what you do" she said.

"Jesus Sheriden, lighten up, we are only having fun" Carlos said. He looked over to James who was sat smiling at us in amusement at his own table.

"yeah and fun is good, just don't do illegal shit like under age drinking. Be wild, and be fun but don't get drunk, my reputation is on the line and there is so much paparazzi following us all around this weekend. I don't want savannah getting labelled as something terrible I have created... You are banned from gambling too, if your not old enough to do it sav then your not getting involved... Clear?"

"clear... sorry" I said.

"don't say sorry Savannah, she just doesn't want anyone to steal her thunder for the wedding" Carlos chuckled.

"Carlos that is not true, I have an obligation to look after savannah and I'm not going to mess it up" Sheriden said.

"again" Carlos retorted.

Sheriden raised an eyebrow to Carlos "I very much doubt that you, dearest little brother could get in to such a pickle that either of you could steal any ones thunder, let alone mine" she mocked then sauntered back off to James

"what does pickle mean?" Carlos laughed "well i don't know about you but that sounded like a challenge" Carlos laughed even louder which made Sheriden turn around and look at him from her table over the other side of the restaurant.

"not much of a challenge if in not allowed to do anything apart from breathe... God this is going to be so boring... I'm sorry" I moaned.

"what you sorry for?" Carlos asked.

"I've condemned you to a boring night out with me, might as well go back to the hotel and find a movie to watch" I replied.

"savannah you've not been to Vegas before have you" he chuckled.

I shook my head.

"we are going to have fun baby, don't you worry about that... And we will get one over on moody ass over there and get in to a pickle - whatever the hell of a weird British saying that may be" he laughed then asked for the bill.

When we left the restaurant we walked passed Sheriden and James, Carlos whispered something in to James ear. James smiled, Carlos patted him on the shoulder then walked away with me in tow.

Once outside I asked Carlos what he had whispered.

"I said good luck putting up with that for the rest of your life... He is insane, she is hot and everything but fuck is she a pain in the ass" he replied.

"I think most hot girls are a pain in the ass... High maintenance isn't it" I said as we strolled along in the cool night air.

"well your not a pain in the ass, I could quite happily marry someone like you, you don't take your self too seriously, I love that" he said.

"I don't think I will ever get married" I said thinking about it.

"how come?" Carlos asked.

"I just don't think that anything is built to last. Why pay out all that money on something that isn't guaranteed, I would rather buy shoes - shoes are guaranteed" I said.

"well not all weddings are as stupidly expensive as sheridens, but I think its something that has to be done on the old bucket list even if it doesn't last... Do you not think James and Sheriden will last then?" He asked

"what is the old bucket list? And no, I give them two years tops... Don't tell her though, she will skin me alive"

"two years?" He chuckled "I think they will make it... The bucket list is just things to do before I die"

"oh I see, well getting married would technically mean that I would have to start having sex again, so I don't think it will be happening" I laughed.

"I would marry you in an instant sav, and to show how much I loved you I wouldn't pay more than a hundred bucks" he laughed.

"your so fucking romantic Carlos... How could any other man ever compete with you" I giggled.

"its impossible they can't" he mocked. stopping in the street and giving me a kiss.

"your perfect Carlos... Like really perfect" I said looking at him in his deep brown eyes.

"perfect for you savannah, and that's all I need to be" he whispered giving me another kiss.

I smiled at him "I accept in that case" I giggled.

"Accept what?" He smiled

"the proposal of marriage" I laughed.

"talk about whirlwind romance sav" he laughed.

"I'm only joking Carlos" I said beginning to walk again down the road with my hand slipped in his.

"what do you want to do then? See a show? Go to a club? Sight see? Its up to you" Carlos asked.

"I want to... Look at the strip, check out the fountain, and see the Eiffel tower" I said.

"then your wish is my command" Carlos said as we reached his hire car and he opened the door up for me.

As we drove around and looked at all the sights Carlos found a place to park up.

"There is Paris" Carlos said looking at the massive Eiffel tower replica.

"its brilliant" I said looking up at it in the distance.

Carlos took my hand and we walked towards it.

Carlos paid for us to go up the Eiffel tower, it was beautiful up there, we could see planes landing in the airport. We even shared a romantic kiss.  
Everything was fine until I noticed a dark haired guy that filled me with fear.

Carlos saw my face fall  
"you okay sav, you look like you have seen a ghost" he said

I stared at the good looking dark haired guy that had his hands all over a blonde girl.  
"its him" I said

"what do you mean?" Carlos said looking around.

The guy with the blonde girl then turned to look at us, he gave a weak smile and I realised it wasn't the same man that had raped me.

Carlos took me in his arms

"I'm sorry he looks so much like one of the men... The one that... Hurt me" I said still staring at the guy, tears filling in my eyes.

Carlos took another look at the guy then led me away.  
"savannah, are you sure it isn't him... Your shaking like a leaf"

"I'm sure, his eyes are different, he just looks very similar, sorry I didn't mean to ruin the evening"

"you've not ruined anything sav... "Carlos said then got interrupted by the couple. The brown haired guy tapped Carlos on the shoulder.

Carlos gave him a hard look.  
"sorry mate, can I take a picture of you with my girlfriend, she is a huge fan" he said in a very English accent.

"err sure, no problem" Carlos said and posed with the blonde girl as the picture was taken by the dark haired brit.

"sav can you take a picture of me and these guys, I like to remember all my fans... You might end up on twitter guys" Carlos smiled to the couple then handed me his phone and posed in the middle of the British couple

I took the picture and handed back the phone to Carlos.  
"come on baby" Carlos said then led me over to the lift to get us back down to ground level.

"why did you do that?" I asked.

"do what?" Carlos asked walking away with my hand in his as we stepped out of the elevator.

"why did you want your picture taken with someone that looked like... The man that" I couldn't even say the words out loud.

Carlos kept walking

"Carlos?!" I said stopping my feet

"did you get the guys name... A first name? ... The guy that raped you?" He said.

I shook my head " you know I didn't, I've told you everything that happened that night... Why?" I asked.

Carlos carried on walking to the car.  
he got in and I followed then sat in with him.

"why?" I asked again

"it might just be me, but I'm going to send this to Logan" he said clicking on the picture with his phone, he wrote, "hey who does this look like" on the photo then sent it.

"Carlos what's going on, that guy was English it wasn't the same man... I promise" I said giving his hand a squeeze.

The iPhone in Carlos' other hand then beeped.

Carlos looked at it then showed me.  
The reply from Logan said " wayyheyy, fucking croft ha ha ha."

"savannah, I think I know who hurt you" he said in a whisper.

I looked at the message again.  
"who is croft then" I said, my voice shaking.

"Marcus Croft, he is a male model, who got in to a bit of a fight with Logan ages ago... at the same club" he said.

He then tapped away on his phone and took my hand.

"savannah I've just googled the name, did you want to see the picture and tell me if it was the man that raped you" he said holding the phone towards his chest.

"if it is him, what do I do?" I asked.

"we are going to go to the police when we get home sav... Its time, you can't run in the same circles modelling with this bastard... Its time sav, I'm gonna protect you baby, I promise" he said.

tears came from my eyes. I nodded "show me" I whispered.

Carlos turned the phone round and unlocked the screen.

"its him" I whispered staring at the screen.

"are you sure" Carlos said.

I nodded "100% I will never forget it Carlos" I said breaking down in tears.

Carlos clicked the home screen on his phone to get rid of the picture then placed it on the dash.

He wrapped his arms around me. "we will fix all this sav... Are you okay?"

"yeah, yeah I'm fine, let's just forget this happened and worry about it on Monday" I said trying to change the subject.

"savannah don't ignore this. Its good baby" he said.

"I know... I just don't want to think about it yet. Having a name for him ... It just... I dunno, its fucked. I just want to get out of here and have fun." I said wiping my eyes.

"savannah I will be there for you, I won't let you go through it on your own. We can get this Dick sent down... I know your scared" he said.

"I'm petrified... " I admitted.

"did you want to go back to the hotel?" He asked.

"no maybe just go for a drive if that's okay? I want to clear my head" I said

"course it is." He replied and started the engine after giving my forehead a kiss.

We drove around for what seemed ages, Carlos took me to the site where we would be doing our sky dive in the morning. we went through a drive through and got a milkshake and pulled up in the car to drink them. The sights in Vegas were amazing, it wasn't just the places, it was the people.

"Carlos?" I said staring in to space out the window watching the world go by.

"yeah?" He replied.

"I think I know how you can steal some of sheridens thunder get in a very big pickle and its legal, and I'm old enough to do it and its the craziest fucking thing to do in Vegas" I said still staring out the window.

"what's that?" He replied sucking on his straw for his milkshake.

"let's get married. here in Vegas, tonight" I said turning to look at him.

he looked at me for such a long time.

"that's a bit fucked up... Even for you sav" Carlos replied.

I shrugged "yeah I suppose" I said turning back to the window.

"I didn't say no though sav" he said.

I looked at him and smiled. "your fucking crazy" I said kissing him.

"I think this is what we are about savannah - will you marry me" he said in a funny voice

"yes" I giggled.

"let's do this then" he laughed.

"oh my God this is insane," I screamed in excitement.

Carlos drove to the tunnel of love, "you sure you want to do this?" He asked.

"yeah I am... Have to now anyway" I said waving my phone at him.

I showed him my latest twitter  
it read 'about to break a million hearts with theCarlosPena'.

"ha! That's good. Let's take our picture, do a before and after" he said

we posed for the picture then Carlos spent a few minutes trying to think of a decent tweet for himself.

In the end he settled for 'getting one of the biggies ticked off the bucket list with savannahDavies... Pics to follow ppl #GettingInApickle.

Carlos stuck to his word and only spent 89 dollars on our wedding, it was so quick it was ridiculous, we only had to show our ID and social security numbers, once the guy in the booth had them he whizzed through the lines that pronounced us husband and wife.

We drove out the other side and had our picture taken with the hire car that we had been married in going through the drive through marriage ceremony and the Vegas wedding sign in the back ground, Carlos picked me up and held me like he was carrying me over the threshold for one of the photos. I was given a single red rose.

We got back in the car after our shotgun wedding "holy fucking shit, we are married" he laughed.

"my mom is going to go nuts... " I said, now actually thinking about how silly we had just been.

"do you regret it?" Carlos asked.

"no, I'm going to enjoy being Mrs Pena" I smiled.

I kissed Carlos "come on you best move the car before we get moaned at." I said.

"you need to get me a ring Carlos" I said giving him a playful nudge.

"Na I have a better idea baby" he said and drove away from the strip.

"Where are we going?" I asked,

"to do more crazy shit and tick more off our list" was all he said.

I looked at twitter on my phone "some of your fans have guessed right, and some have got it so wrong its untrue... I really get a kick out of this fame thing. Twitter is brilliant to Brag about stuff Isn't it?" I said with excitement bursting out of me.

"yeah I love it too. Everyone takes the piss cause I'm always on it" he replied.

"shall I change my name on here Carlos?... Savannah Pena?"

"I don't mind, I think you will be completely mobbed with hate though... Probably by Sheriden!" He laughed.

"Sheriden doesn't scare me... Besides she will be off on her honeymoon in a couple of days."

"well change your name to Pena. See how Long it takes for Mackenzie to scream at you down the phone" he laughed,

"okay... Here goes" I said changing my information on my account "done" I said after I had saved my new settings, then put the phone down.

"cool, well we are here..." Carlos said pulling in to a parking space.

"where are we going now?" I asked

"going to get us some rings" he smiled. I had a vague idea of what he was up to.

Carlos opened my door for me and held my hand. We walked up to a tattoo shop. Carlos gave me a grin and held my hand up "I would like to get your name tattooed on my finger instead of a ring, would you want to get mine written on here?" He said rubbing my hand where my wedding ring should be.

"yeah, that's a fucking awesome idea - its perfect" I said.

Carlos went first to have my name written on his finger then I had my go. Once done we left and stood out side the shop again he scooped me in his arms.

"savannah this is the best night of my life..." He said.

"it is pretty awesome Carlos" I said giving him a kiss.

We walked back to the car and got in took some pictures of our new tattoos and sent them to twitter along with the picture of us just married out side the tunnel of love. Carlos wrote the caption 'totally insane but I am the happiest guy alive right now'

Carlos' phone rang pretty much straight away. He didn't answer it but it was his brother Antonio.  
Mine then rang, it was Logan, after Logan my sister tried calling me then tried calling Carlos, we eventually turned our phones off.  
"I think its probably best of we go back to the hotel sav, is that okay?" He asked.

"yeah we are going to cause a bit of a stir out and about huh" I laughed.

We chatted all the way home, Carlos seemed happy but I knew he wasnt looking forward to meeting up with his family to explain his latest scandal.

the entrance to the hotel was swarming with paparazzi, obviously good news travels fast.

"how do we get in there Carlos?" I said

"just walk through... Hold tight he said.

We walked through the crowds and had our pictures taken as we went, a load of journalists asked us about our wedding but Carlos and I stayed silent, once in the elevator Carlos kissed me.

"that was fucking crazy " he smiled.

We made our way up to the hotel room and locked the door behind us.

I looked at the bed directly the door was shut.

"savannah don't panic, nothing has changed like that. Don't worry,"

"I'm sorry" I replied.

"don't be sorry, just because we do mental stuff doesn't mean what's important changes" he said.

"thanks Carlos" I replied. "im gonna grab a shower then get in my pjs if that's okay?"

"sure, i'll pick something to watch." He replied.

I took my nightwear in to the shower room with me so I could get changed in private. After I had washed I put my red hair in to a long plait and got dressed. The thought of Marcus Croft made my stomach turn. Carlos was right though, it was time that I told the police about what had happened. Looking back I was silly to not tell them when it first happened.

I walked out of the bathroom and back out in to the bedroom. Carlos was laying on the bed, he had boxer shorts on and a tee shirt, I gathered he wouldn't normally wear all that to bed but it was more for my benefit.  
He was on the phone. I climbed on the bed and snuggled in to his chest.  
I listened in to his conversation.

"its nothing for anyone to be worried about" he said.

"yeah what time?"

"okay, well I've got to go now, I will see you tomorrow... Love you too.. Bye" he finished then hung up.

"who was that?" I said as he curled his arm around my shoulder.

"my papi... He is a bit upset with me, but he is looking forward to meeting you tomorrow" he said.

"did he moan?" I asked.

"no... My mom cried though" he said.

"shit really? That sucks, I doubt my mom knows yet, unless kenz has told her" I stretched out and turned the bedside light out and snuggled in to my new husband.

"sav how long do you think we will last if you thought James and Sheriden had two years left in them?" Carlos asked getting cosy on the bed and giving me his arm as a pillow.

"well obviously we have only known each other properly for just over a month, only been dating for less than 10 hours, so I will give it... Till... Erm... Next Tuesday" I laughed.

"next Tuesday... That's longer than I would of given it" he mocked.

The door knocked.  
"fuck who is that?" Carlos said sitting up.

I shrugged.

The door knocked again.  
"just ignore it Carlos" I whispered.

"Carlos its Logan, I know your in there" came the voice from the door.

"shit! Let him in" I said.

Carlos got up turned the light on and looked through the peep hole, he must of been satisfied that Logan was alone as he opened up and let him in.

"hey... kenz is calling me every few minutes asking what's going on, can you call her please savannah... You two are fucking insane" he said.

"I will talk to her tomorrow Logan, I promise, I'm fine tell her, i just want to relax a bit with Carlos" I replied.

Logan nodded his head "I thought you would be drunk or something?" Logan said to me.

"no I'm fine... Just ceasing the moment that's all. I'm going to the police on Monday, Carlos talked me in to reporting the... You know" I said giving Carlos' hand a squeeze as he sat back on the bed.

Logan looked at us both "I'm glad, I hope they find who did it, kenz will be glad too" he said.

"we know who it is Logan, that's why I sent you that picture, sav got freaked out by that guy, I thought he looked like him so sent you the croft" Carlos announced.

"Marcus croft raped you?" Logan said shocked.

I nodded

"oh my God" Logan then said.

"don't tell anyone Logan, we are going to the police on Monday" Carlos said.

Logan looked on total disbelief. He made me promise that I call my sister. He left our room in a daze. Carlos shut the door behind him

"well at least the news of going to the police puts people off of moaning at us" Carlos replied.

"your a lot more serious than Mackenzie said you were you know" I said out of the blue.

"what do you mean" he asked

"she just always moaned that you only wanted to piss about all the time, but I find that you know the balance" I explained.

"I'm different with you though, some things change people don't they... I guess you weren't the only one that changed that night. I know I went home the next day and cried like a baby from the shock, I even threw up" he said.

I rubbed his face with my hand. "you mean so much to me" I said with a yawn,

"its gone Midnight now... Come here" Carlos said and gave me a kiss then wrapped his arms tightly around me.

"I'm sorry our wedding night is... Not all its cracked up to be" I whispered as I wrapped my own arm over his chest.

"well its only us that's going to know its a bit different" Carlos said with a smile as he looked at my face from across the pillow he lay on.

"I know all this is mad but I want to do it as properly as I can" I whispered back as I switched the light back off.

"we will... Just at a pace that is right for you... Are you going to go back to your moms or are you gonna brave it out with me in LA? as an official married couple" Carlos said stroking some stray red hairs away from my face.

"death us do part remember" I said.

"this is amazing savannah, we have totally changed our lives in just a few hours" Carlos said smiling.

"change is what I need baby" I said feeling my eyes get heavy.

Carlos kissed me on the cheek and I rested in his safe strong arms until I fell asleep.


	13. Chapter 13

**Sheridens story**

I woke up in our beautiful hotel room, James lay sleeping next to me, we were actually getting married in just over 24 hours time. I can't believe how quickly it had come around.

I got up slowly, my back had been in agony since I slipped up in the department store with paisley because of that stupid rusher bitch.  
I walked over to the bathroom and rifled through my wash bag trying to find my pain killers. I had played down the fall and the pain as I knew James would hit the roof, and I didn't want him to want to put the wedding date back.

I walked back in to the bedroom and looked at the mess, I smiled to myself, my underwear and clothes were all over the place.  
James was teasing me so bad yesterday night at dinner that we didn't bother doing anything else, we came straight back to our room and got carried away.

I looked at my handsome husband to be, he had to be the sexiest man alive. I could stare at his perfectness for ever.

He lay in his usual star fish belly down position. His broad muscly shoulders and back peeking out from the hotel sheets.  
My heart ached away looking at him. I was so in love with this sexy hunk of man, and somehow he was as just in love with me.

I had a shower and got myself dressed, I must of tired James out as even the noise of the hair dryer didn't wake him up. I sat on the bed and gave him a kiss and a nudge.

"Jamesy... Baby time to wake up!" I said softly.  
He opened his eyes up after another couple of nudges.

"hey miss Lloyd" he husked out grinning at me.

"not for long" I replied giving him a kiss "come on you need to get a wiggle on to jump out this plane" I said giving his bum a pat.

He groaned with a sleepy smile then turned around and placed my hand on top of his morning glory.

"its like that is it maslow" I said smirking at him.

"yep" he replied.  
I shimmied down my underwear and lifted my skirt from my dress up and gently sat on his lap as he lay in the oversized bed.  
By back hurt, the pain killers hadn't kicked in yet but I ignored it as much as I could and satisfied my beautiful James with his amazing smile and let him enter me.

He was rock solid, he always was in the mornings. It was like he was made from stone he was that hard. I moved my body in motion as he gently placed his hands on my hips.  
James loved to watch himself inside me, I could see him looking at us, getting turned on. He was such a perv it was un real, some of the things he had me do to him over the years would shock a lot of people. But he loved it and I loved it so all was good.

It didn't take us long to climax. I was grateful for this as I was determined to not let him know about my back pain until after we were married. And by then we will be on a much deserved three week break on honeymoon, that was the only fact James had given me about it, that it was three weeks long. he only told me that much so I could fit it around my work commitments.

"love you Sheri" James said as he got out of bed and headed for a shower.

"love you more baby" I called after him.

I phoned down to reception whilst James was in the shower asking if my dress had arrived yet.  
It had. This filled me with butterflies.

James wouldn't be spending tonight with me, he had another room booked.  
we are however going to be spending the evening with some of the guests that had arrived the night before my big day.  
We had decided against seperate hen and stag parties as it wasnt very often all our families got together.

Of course by our families I meant Carlos' family that had become my own and James' family, also some friends. the only person that I was blood related to, that had been given an invite to my wedding was the only person in my family I ever spoke to, my cousin Sofie.  
Sofie was five years older than me, and she tried her best to take care of me when I was little, she had a similar upbringing as myself.

Both my parents had died, not that they would of had an invite if they were alive, sofie only had her dad left now, I didn't get along with him, he was my fathers brother and the two men were very similar.

sofie had never asked me for anything, her father however had sold numerous storys of my youth in order to make some money. He used to constantly throw the family name at me wanting me to help out with his money situation. I never gave him anything.  
I had bought sofie a house, but it remained in my name so her father couldn't talk her in to selling it and making money.

James came out of the bath room naked he started drying himself off with a towel.

I eyed his body over, he was so delicious "you best get a move on baby, or you will be late"

He smiled at me "it will only take me a minute Sheri - you okay?" He asked.

"yeah I'm fine... Why do you ask? My dress is here, so I guess that means your suit is too" I smiled changing the subject.

"your back okay?" He asked.

"yeah course. Its fine" I nodded.

"okay... then can you explain why there is half an empty bottle of morphine pills in the bathroom?"

"fuck!" I replied, how did I forget to put them away again.

"yeah fuck... Why didn't you tell me and why are you on morphine Sheri, they shouldn't of put you on that" he said sounding more concerned than angry.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't want you to try and postpone the wedding or the honeymoon or let you worry about me... The day I slipped up, the next morning I woke up in pain but just ignored it, there was so much going on with pais and savannah that I left it a bit longer than I should of to go to the doctor... I'm fine though honestly. If you don't want me on the morphine I understand, I have my other pills with me, they just don't work as well that's all"

"is it bad, as in this is the start of things to come?" James asked sitting on the bed he dried his hair with the towel.

"I had an xray the other day, it didn't look like anything had changed but I don't know... Are you having second thoughts about us getting married?"

"course not, I love you Sheriden, I just don't like it when you keep things from me. You made a promise that you would tell me what's going on in that head of yours, I want you to keep that promise... Okay!" He said with a smile.

"okay" I agreed "the xray just showed swelling, the bones didn't look any different from my last one, I did ask for the morphine, doctor said no at first but I explained about the wedding and wanting to enjoy it as best I could pain free... James I know you worry about me taking drugs, and you know me now, I try not to take anything as long as I can help it. I don't want to cause you any worry"

James nodded "would you find it offensive if I took them off of you and you had to come to me every time you needed more?"

"no, I put you through hell before by overdosing so I know how worrying you must find it that I have them hidden away. You feel free to take them" I replied.

James nodded and patted the space on the bed next to him where he sat.  
I sat down and he kissed me. I rubbed my thumb along his jaw line as our tongues seduced each other. He tasted of mint from just brushing his teeth.

"you nervous about tomorrow?" He asked pulling away.

"yes, very" I laughed "its going to take a lot of Sheriden Lloyd front to get me through it with all those people watching us... Are you?" I replied.

"my stomach is doing somersaults. Gonna miss you tonight though Sher bear" he whispered giving me another kiss but on the cheek.

"its tradition to not see the bride before the big day though James. I'm going to miss you too though" I glanced at my watch. "shit! get dressed we are late now"

James quickly got dressed and he drove us down to the jump site.

James had come up with the idea of the charity sky dive.  
Because there was so much attention focused on the wedding from fans and the media he decided to try and raise as much money from it for my charity which helped spinal injuries and disorders.

"shit James we are 15 minutes late already, I hope you don't miss out on doing this" I said checking the time for the tenth time in so many many minutes.

"they won't leave with out me Sheri, don't worry... Stop panicking" he smiled then pulled in to the private air strip where they were all been taken up in to the sky very soon, it was manic down here. So many fans waiting to get a glimpse of there idol.

"Jesus its crazy James. I hope someone has organised some more security for all these people, I never thought it would be this busy" I said giving the odd wave to people on the other side of the fence as we drove through the had all paid to get in and watch there favourite jump from a plane, I thought a good crowd would show up but never this many, it was chaos.

"this is nuts. Well we are all set by the looks of things" James said looking out at the group of people waiting on us ready in their light blue jump gear.

James had got the use of four planes that would be taking off ten minutes apart to chuck out his team of jumpers, by the looks of things it appeared savannah was also now in on the jump as she was prepped and ready to go dressed in blue and clinging on to Carlos. She avoided eye contact with me as James and I walked up to greet them all, I guess she was still pissed at me from moaning at her at the restaurant yesterday.

James was rushed in to the hanger to get changed and prepped for jumping. I greeted everyone, all the btr boys were there, paisley was there to watch, she had Ophelia in the pram, two of the btr band Shawn and Dustin were also gonna jump, james' brother had decided to join in too, Antonio was doing it and so was his and Carlos' dad.

I went over to give kisses to my 'adopted' family.

"papi, oh my goodness can you believe what you are about to do" I said giving him a big hug and trying to not wince in pain as he hugged me a little to hard back.

"I know I'm almost as insane as Carlos has gone" he said rolling his eyes and looking over to Carlos, who was giving savannah a very romantic looking kiss.

"he falls hard and fast doesn't he" I said smiling at the two off them.

"your taking it all very well... I thought you would be fuming at them" Antonio said giving me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"no, I like savannah, she is lovely, they look great together I think" I said giving him a hug back.

"okay where is Sheriden Lloyd and what have you done with her" Antonio laughed.

I chuckled "what is the matter with you two today" I smiled.

James ran out of the hanger with two of the instructors, they then informed all the jumpers of which planes they will be in, all spectators were told to wait in the viewing area of the air field, I walked up with paisley to a large room with tall windows. it seemed we were the only two that had come to watch our loved ones jump out of a plane. Paisley sat down at a seat next to the window facing the planes, I stood next to her looking out on to the runway.

"how is beautiful Ophelia doing?" I said looking in to the pram.

"she is fine, she slept through the night last night, I think the change of scenery has done her good" paisley replied.

"well that's good, the more sleep you get the better too huh... Your looking amazing might I add pais" I smiled, she really did look great.

Paisley smiled at me. "can you believe Carlos and savannah... Its totally mental. They are insane" she said out of the blue.

"they are okay, I don't know why everyone is so shocked, it was obvious it was going to happen" I said looking out on to the air field as James just hopped on board his plane, he had kendall and his brother jumping with him. He gave me a little wave before getting in the plane, I blew him a kiss back.

"you knew they were going to do it and you didn't try and talk him out of it?... Sheriden I'm honestly shocked" she laughed as we both saw Carlos and savannah wave goodbye to the crowds of people as they boarded there own plane that Logan was already on.

I laughed. "I don't get you lot, what's wrong with savannah all of a sudden? she is a lovely girl, Carlos takes good care of her, he hasn't shut up about her all week. He has been driving me potty" I said smiling.

"well I don't think its right, she is causing her own social death" paisley said.

I looked out as James' plane took off, Carlos was still smiling away at the fans. Savannah was... Well she was sticking he finger up at them again.  
I chuckled then looked over to the fans, they looked really riled up, more like an angry mob than boyband fans.

"how has she managed to get them like that?" I said to paisley pointing out the angry looking fans.

"well you shouldn't worry to much. At least you gave them notice, I very much doubt you will get the same reception tomorrow" paisley said lifting Ophelia out of the pram to feed her.

"what do you mean? I've got nothing to do with Carlos and savannah getting together, it won't effect me at all. She can stick her finger up at those bitches as much as she likes. I hate them" I stated.

"it is hard being with one of the guys, is that why you didn't talk him out of it because you wanted one over on the rushers?" She asked as Ophelia drank the milk from her bottle.

"talk him out of what? He has had loads of girlfriends, I don't see the big deal" I said looking up waiting for James to jump."ooh there we go, is that kendall going first?" I said as I saw one of the boys jump out. My heart was going ten to the dozen with nerves.

paisley stood up and looked out the window, "yeah that's kendall - look Ophelia there is daddy" she said smiling looking up.

Next out was Phil, James' brother followed by James, my heart was literally in my mouth watching him, praying nothing would go wrong. His parachute opened and a few seconds later he was touching down on the ground and giving his brother and kendall a hug. They walked over to the fans, giving hi fives and posing for pictures.

"thank god for that" paisley said smiling at me.

I laughed nervously at her as we watched the next plane go up, relieved that our boys were safe.

"what has Mackenzie said, have you heard from her, bet she has gone mental" paisley said.

I looked at paisley, I was clearly missing something from our conversation "pais I'm not being rude but your not making much sense honey, are you okay?" I asked giving her arm a friendly rub.

She looked at me like I was insane. "Sheriden don't look at me like I should be sectioned, I'm fine now, perfectly normal, if anything Carlos should be sectioned by agreeing to marry her" she said.

I laughed "what? oh my god have they got engaged, how ridiculous, they have only been dating a day" I laughed.

Paisleys mouth fell open "Jesus Christ you have no idea what I've been talking about do you?" She said her face serious.

"well I thought it was just Carlos and savannah making it official but I didn't know they had got engaged, no" I said still smiling.

"Sheriden... Jesus, why is it always me that has to tell you crap - Sheri, Carlos and savannah made it official alright, they got married last night in the tunnel of love, they splashed it all over twitter in the most undignified way... How the hell have you not heard about it yet?" She said.

I was no longer smiling "they got married J... In a drive through?... And that's why all those fans are here and pissed off?"

Paisley nodded at me "I'm sorry I just thought you knew... Its all in the papers and everything, they have tattooed rings" she informed me.

I sat down, I felt sick to the stomach that Carlos would do this when my own wedding was so close.

"please tell me this is a joke" I begged.

"I'm sorry Sheriden" was all she replied.

Carlos had created an army of angry fans ready to cause chaos for my big day... I thought back to our conversation last night at the restaurant about him and savannah stealing the thunder... They had done that alright but created a storm.

I couldn't hold the hurt I felt in and began crying.

"Sheriden don't upset yourself, its not worth it, they must think you know, she looked pretty sheepish this morning, All eyes were on you... Don't get upset babe" paisley soothed as the boys walked in the large room ready to watch the next plane chuck out friends.

James noticed I was upset and sat in the seat next to me and pulled me over to his shoulder.

"what's happened?" He said rocking back and fourth with me wrapped in his arms.

I couldn't get the words out, I was angry and upset what Carlos had done.

"do you not know about Carlos?" Paisley said.

"no? Is he okay, what's happened?" James said looking up to the plane that had Carlos inside it.

"him and sav got married last night" paisley explained as she put Ophelia back in her pram.

"pais she will need burping too" kendall said as I looked from James' arms.

paisley looked at Ophelia, then looked at kendall. "I've just got to use the rest room, I will be back in a moment" she replied.

Kendall gave her a smile as she walked past but she didn't return it.

"what... They actually really got married? That's insane" James said.

Kendall lufted ophelia and gave her back a rub getting her wind up and stared in to space out of the window. "yeah they just did it, I've not spoken to him yet, he won't put savannah down" he said with no emotion.

I stayed looking at kendall, something wasnt right with him and paisley.  
I sat snuggled in to James' arms having a think about everything I had just heard and seen and how I felt.

What actually really mattered was what was happening in my own life, everything apart from my spine was fantastic.  
All morning I had been saying how lovely savannah was, her and Carlos getting married really wasnt the end of the world.  
Looking at kendall though he looked like he was at the end of his world. He looked empty.

I gave James a kiss. "its okay, obviously they do crazy shit like this. I'm good, its not going to make any difference to my big day with you babe" I said wiping my eyes as Logan walked in the room.

"that was fucking awesome" he announced as he took off the blue jump suit.

Savannah and Carlos walked up to the room very slowly hand in hand, they didn't bother to talk to fans.  
I wasnt sure what I was going to say to them.

Paisley came back in and wrapped her arms around kendall from behind and kissed his shoulder, he smiled at the contact from her.

"that's odd, shouldn't it of opened by now?" Paisley said as she looked at the sky of who ever had just jumped out the plane.  
Everyone looked up.

"oh my god its Antonio" Carlos said pressing himself up to the glass.

There was a gasp of relief as we all saw the parachute go up, but it was tangled.

"Jesus I can't watch this" paisley said burying her head in to kendall.

Antonio was heading towards the ground really fucking fast like a bullet. He was going to die.

I felt James squeeze my hand.  
The parachute that was tangled with Antonio then just flew away and his reserve one popped out.

He was too low already for a completely safe landing, the dive only takes 60 seconds from plane to ground.

Every one watched on, including Carlos' dad who watched from the ground, already having completed his own jump. he stood motionless up as his eldest son plummeted to the ground.

When Antonio did hit the ground he was down like a ton of bricks, he just lay there.  
He looked dead. Waiting Paramedics instantly rushed over to him along with his dad.

I looked at Carlos just as he looked at me.

"this isn't real" was all Carlos said to me.

"Los... Oh my God, honey come here" I said standing up from my chair and giving him a hug.

"guys he is okay - look!" Kendall said as he still stood at the window.

As I looked over you could see Antonio on the floor but with an arm in the air raising his thumb up to say all okay.

He was eventually put in to the back of an ambulance, we had all been told to stay in the room until instructed otherwise. But Antonio was Sat up in the back getting checked over. I figured he was fine, or the ambulance would of rushed him away.

Carlos and I were eventually allowed to go and chat to him.

We rushed over, I ran. no amount of pain in my back was going to keep me a second longer from giving Antonio a much deserved hug. I had always been closest to him in the entire family, he was the best friend of jay, my old boyfriend from several years ago, jay had died in a car accident. But we always used to hang around together, the Pena family was very tight knit. Pretty much all of them were insane, so I fitted in very well with them but Antonio was the most genuine lovely guy that had ever graced my life, apart from James.  
This was why I had asked him to give me away at my wedding.

I threw myself on him, and gave him a kiss.

"I hope you got that on camera, that was such an adrenalin rush" he said to Carlos and I.

"what the hell happened ant" Carlos asked.

"The chute got tangled, I thought I had freed it but it got caught on this loop" he said showing us a metal hoop ring that was on his jump suit. "I cut the chute free then deployed the other one... I think I dislocated my thumb but apart from that I'm good" he beamed.

I burst in to tears and gave him a hug.  
"Sheriden I'm fine, stop crying... I'm fine shooshoo" he said calling me little pet name.

"oh my gosh I think I'm going to be sick with the shock of watching that" I said. Antonio laughed at me while Carlos gave my back a rub to console me.

"if that had happened to me I would of froze Antonio," Carlos said.

"good job I actually listened to the pre jump chat then isn't it, instead of making out with my new wife the entire time" Antonio said glaring at Carlos but Carlos just looked at me.

"Sheriden... It was just a spur of the moment thing. We are seriously going to make a go of it." Carlos said sympathetically.

I nodded with a weak smile "make sure you do, she needs someone like you" was all I said on the matter

after everyone had made sure they were happy in the knowledge that Antonio was fine we all headed back to the hotel, Antonio was advised to be checked over at hospital so he was going to meet us back at the hotel after.

James packed his things and moved in to one of the rooms on the floor below me. I hated that he wasnt going to be with me tonight. We met up with friends and family at the bar in the evening.

I walked in to a heated discussion between Mackenzie and savannah. I hadn't yet spoke of the shot gun wedding to her, but I couldn't see Carlos in here to protect his new wife from Mackenzie who looked completely outraged.

I walked over leaving James with his mom and sister Ali.

"you have made a complete ass of yourself savannah. What is wrong with you!" Mackenzie hissed at her sister.

I tapped her on the shoulder "Mackenzie, I'm glad you changed your mind and came to watch me get married... Its a shame you missed your sisters big day though" I said flatly.

Savannah looked at the floor.

Mackenzie turned to address me "oh I should of guessed that you would of had something to do with this, another of your fantastic ideas was it... Your ruining my sisters life!" she shouted then slapped me around the face.

Everyone turned to look. I stood there in shock, with my hand on my face.

Savannah had her mouth wide open like she wanted to say something but nothing came out.

I did the only thing I could do in a room full of people and walked out. I headed up to my room before I said something I would regret.

"Sheriden! Baby" James called from behind me in reception before I caught the lift.

I stopped and waited for him to catch up.

"Sheri... What was all that about? Are you okay?" He soothed.

I nodded. "she thinks it was my idea for those pair of idiots to get married... As if" I laughed.

" this is your night Sheriden, Don't run off and let that bitch ruin it" James said.

I smiled at him, he usually didn't criticise anyone. "I told you she was a bitch" I smirked and gave him a hug.

"baby come back in to the bar... You don't run away from things - especially when you had nothing to do with it in the first place" he said rubbing my face, making sure there was no mark left behind from the sharp slap I had just received.

I nodded "yep your right -"

"Sheriden I am so sorry" savannah said as she too came out, she was crying hysterically.

I gave her a hug as she sobbed in to my shoulder.

"savannah its okay its not your fault your sister is completely anal" I laughed "I do believe we are kind of related now" I added.

She looked up at me and gave me a teary smile "I guess we are... That's weird... I thought you would be fuming about Carlos and I?"

"well I'm not over the moon on the timing but congratulations... Enjoy each other" I said with a smile.

Savannah began crying again, I gave her another hug and made eye contact with James, he gave me a smile to say our family had just got stranger.

"savannah why are you so upset now, I said its not your fault, its your silly sister jumping to conclusions" I said.

She pulled her head from my shoulder "its not that. its just your the first person to congratulate me... I know it is crazy but I care about him so much Sheriden. I wanna be with him... I do, I really do. I need him" she sniffed.

"savannah go and sort you're face out and Sheriden can introduce you properly to all of the family that you have joined" James said prising her off of my shoulders.

Savannah nodded and walked in to the lift to go up to her room. The doors shut and she was gone.

"come here Lloyd" James said grabbing me around the waist and giving me a kiss.

"thank you baby, you know how to make everything right again" I said smiling.

When savannah got down with a fresh face of make up on her, and a change of outfit for good measure I gave her the run down of best impressions for the Pena family.  
"do not be blasphemous, are you religious savannah?" I asked.

"no, not at all" she replied.

"okay well nor am I, but I go along with church plans and shit like that just to fit in, and be polite." I continued.

"Don't swear to much in front of Carlos' mom and dad. And don't get carried away messing about with javi... His brother"

"which one is javi, and why would I mess around with him?" Savannah asked.

James and I exchanged glances knowing full well how much a pain in the ass javi is " he is the youngest brother and... Let's just say he is a bad influence... Very fun - but bad" I chuckled.

"okay" she replied looking nervous.

"where is Carlos any way?" I asked.

"erm... Doing something with kendall and Logan..." She replied very sceptically.

Again I looked at James, he shrugged it off, but we both knew the btr boys must be getting some awful stag party prank ready for James. I sighed.  
"okay well come on then sis'" I smiled.

I took savannah by the hand and led her in to the bar to be properly introduced to everyone, she was very polite, the most civilised I think I had ever seen her.

I think it actually made the difference to everyone that I liked savannah, she was the only one of Carlos' girlfriends that I have ever got along with.

Once Carlos, Logan and kendall had turned up at the bar the evening got underway.  
There was a really good atmosphere, it was so nice to be in a room of people that you could trust your life with.

The entire Pena family were here to help me celebrate, all the immediate family and the grandparents and cousins. This made me feel very emotional to know that I really had been excepted in to there family. And they all regarded me as a member of it.

I introduced James to my cousin sofie, she had her husband will' and two children with her. it was lovely to see her and chat with her but the memories that came with seeing her face were uneasy as they reminded me of such a bad part of my life.

Paisley seemed happy, she was chatting to her friend, and James' studio music technician Amberleigh Scott.

Mackenzie was by the looks of things getting totally shit faced on vodka. Logan wasnt drinking, which surprised me but I guessed he was being punished for giving savannah a kiss, I gathered they had made up seeing as Mackenzie was perched on Logans lap.

Kendall was laughing and joking with James' dad and brother, he had Ophelia in his arms rocking her.

There were no more dramas or fights as the night got late, but once the older members of our large gathering decided to leave for bed, I to decided it was time to wish James goodnight and spend my last night as Miss Sheriden Lloyd.

I snuck my hand in James' and pulled him out of the bar.

"this is it then baby... I'm going to my room now" I said planting a little kiss on his lips.

He smiled then gently lifted me up with his strong arms, I wound my legs around his waist as he pinned me up against the wall and kissed me seductively.  
"promise you will show up tomorrow" he whispered.

"I promise... I love you so much James, I can't believe we have made it this far" I replied.

"I know... Seems like only yesterday I was trying to think of a way of talking to you in the airport going to Florida... Even then I made you cry" he laughed.

I laughed at the memory of our first proper chat.  
"your my world... Please don't get caught up in anything dumb with the guys tonight. If you are missing eyebrows or anything in the morning I'm gonna be pissed" I smiled.

"you have my word Sheri" he said giving me another kiss then gently putting me back down on my two feet.

I got in the elevator looking at James as he looked at me, waiting for the doors to close. He flashed that amazing American smile at me just before they shut.

I showered and got ready for bed, it was only just gone 11pm, but I wanted to at least try and get a decent nights sleep before my big day.

I drifted of to sleep fairly easy, having dreams about Antonio falling from the sky, on one of the dreams I was jumping with him, I found it annoying as Antonio kept saying how much fun it was not realising that there was a problem, and not listening to me as I screamed for him to cut the parachute free that was tangled.  
I woke up with a jolt just as we would of hit the floor.

I sat up.  
Fuck that was a shit dream! I couldn't get the memory of it out of my head. I got out of bed, my back in agony. I looked at my watch, it was just gone 1am... Least it was still relatively early, I felt shattered though.  
I got up and drank some water from the little fridge that was in my room then toddled off to the bathroom for my pain killers, only to realise that James had already taken them.

"great" I said to myself.

There was no way I would be able to get back to sleep in this pain with out the morphine pills.

I sat on the bed thinking.  
It was just easier to phone James quick and he give me some pills. I reached for my cell phone and dialled.

He took ages to answer even when the phone did answer it wasnt James it was his brother on the end of the line, the music in the background was really loud.

"Phil can I speak to James quickly, its important" I said.

"yeah... Hang on just a second Sheriden, he is... Being entertained... On." He replied.

Great that means James has got some sluts tits in his face at some strip joint.

"okay... " I replied, there was then a load of movement with the telephone and finally James spoke.

"hey Sheri... Sorry" he laughed

I chuckled at him "boys will be boys" I smiled down the phone, "I really need those pills James, I'm in agony baby. Your not in the hotel though are you?" I asked.

"no, we are at a... Club. Its okay I can sort something out, if you need them baby then I will give them to you, I'm not going to leave you in pain am I" he replied.

"you don't mind breaking the 'don't see the bride' rule... Might be bad luck?" I said.

"Sheriden don't you worry your pretty face about a thing, I will close my eyes or something" he laughed "be there in a while" he said

We said our good byes.  
I sat on the bed thinking. He was right as long a we didn't see each other it didn't matter, I didn't want to jinx our wedding day.

I thought I would give James a surprise. The thought of him getting an erection over some strippers boobs repulsed me, so if I seduced him least he wouldn't feel so horny.

I put some lacey underwear on. They would feel nice to the touch. I was going to have the lights out so we couldn't physically see one another, which was the rule, it didn't say anything about touching, kissing or making love.

I had waited about twenty minutes when the door to my room knocked gently.  
I gave my self a quick look in the mirror, I looked hot, which meant I would feel hot too.  
I switched the light off, the room went completely black.

I stayed out of view behind it but opened up the door just enough to let James in but not flood the room with light.

I shut the door and reached for his arm pulling him in towards me, guiding his hands over my body, letting him feel the softness of my breasts through my lacey bra.

I pulled down on his neck so I could kiss him. It wasn't until I placed my lips on his mouth that I realised whoever I had just brought in to my room it wasn't James. I let out a little scream then flicked the light back on which revealed kendall in front of me, not my handsome James.

"fuck! Kendall what are you doing?" I yelled trying to cover up my body with my arms across my chest

"what am I doing? What was that?" He smirked eyeing up my scantily clad body.

"I thought you were James... What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I'm delivery boy! I was heading back to the hotel so I offered to get these for you" he said handing me the bottle of pills. "James said I'm to take the bottle back... Sorry" he added.

I took the pills and shoved two in my mouth, hopefully the pain would soon ease off, I handed the pill bottle back to kendall.

"all okay? You not need those for anything other than pain do you Sheri" kendall asked as he put the pills back in his pocket.

"no just pain, I hurt my self pretty bad that day I slipped up when I was shopping with paisley... There is nothing sinister in it. Is James behaving himself?" I asked as I slipped on my dressing gown.

"he is, which is more than I can say for you" he smirked.

I laughed at him and felt my cheeks redden "I thought you were James, I didn't want him to see me so I turned the lights out... Sorry for rubbing your hands on my... Self" I giggled.

Kendall went a bit red himself.  
"its okay... Always a pleasure to lay my hands on a pretty girl... Your looking good might I add" he smirked.

"that's more for my spine than for anything else, I work out a lot now, getting everything toned up as it was before the skiing accident, just helps prolong the strength I have in my back" I replied matter of factly.

"well you look hot Sheriden" he said sitting on the large fabric sofa that was in my room.

"what's up with you then?" I asked still standing.

"nothing I'm fine, you know me, always smiling" he replied with his dimpled grin.

"you may be able to lie to other people kendall, but that smile won't work with me, I know you too well. I saw you with paisley at the airfield, she gave you the cold shoulder after you mentioned about the burping... I thought you two was going good again" I finished.

"ah - I don't know, she doesn't really talk to me properly, one minute she is fine and the next she is so cold... It does my head in. She has changed in to a completely different person since Ophelia was born Sheri... I don't know if I love this new paisley, I have to walk on egg shells everyday to figure out what mood she is in" he said with a sigh.

"you need to remember how ill she was though honey, its going to take time, plus having a baby in your life is such a big strain on a relationship any way... Have you tried talking to her?" I asked

He nodded his head. "yeah she just walks off, says she isn't in the mood to argue. she seems better, she is fine with Ophelia now, they are bonding better but its just me, I think she resents me for getting her pregnant in the first place" he said.

I sat down next to him on the sofa "kendall just give it time, you have far too much to lose."

"really because I feel I've already lost everything Sheriden. She didn't even want to come to Vegas, she wanted me to take Ophelia on my own so she could spend sometime by herself... Its not paisley any more. I don't know who she is"

"kendall is she safe to be left alone with Ophelia?"

"Yeah she is fine I wouldn't risk it if I had any doubt would I. Like I say its just me she has the problem with" he replied. "Sheriden... not that it matters now a day before your wedding day, but did you and James ever sleep together while you were with me?... Honestly" he added.

I gave his hand a squeeze. "not this again... honestly on Ophelia's life, I never slept with James until I came to visit you guys after the show in San Diego. We drove to his house... That was the first time. I promise you. Can't believe your still hung up on that"

"I'm always hung up on that... It doesn't help when you rub your sexy little body all over me when I come to deliver your class A drugs either" he laughed.

"its a prescribed class A drug though, not like that shit you bought... Loser" I laughed. "I'm sorry about the booby rubbing"

"don't be, it was nice. You won't hear me complain about anything breast related" he joked.

"still the same old kendall, aren't you" I smiled.

"yeah... Pretty much. Land on my feet then someone pulls the rug out from under me... Usual shit" he smiled.

"hey come on, don't talk like that, things aren't as Rosy on the other side if that's what your implying" I said. Getting defensive.

"they look pretty rosy to me Sheri" he said.

"James and I are good, but we have so many problems with my back and not having a family of our own, it all causes such a strain on us, but we work through it. You need to work through it with pais"

"I don't think I want to anymore, I'm tired of trying to make things work. We never did when we were together Sheri. We just loved each other... I lived for you Sheriden, I still do"

"kendall don't do this, not a day before I get married... Please"

"its always been you Sheriden, its always going to be you. I can't help that. I wish I never fucked things up" he said.

"kendall ... Honey , look its hard. I know, but you have a beautiful daughter and a beautiful girlfriend that need you"

"but I need you" he replied.

"no you don't you just -" he cut me off

"Sheri do you still love me?" He asked.

"honey you know I do, but that's not the point, we have been through so much together, we are family now" I tried to argue.

"we could be a proper family Sheriden, think about it, me, you and Ophelia you would have everything you ever wanted" he said

"kendall I think you should leave now"

"it sounds good though doesn't it, admit it!" His voice full of optimism.

"your trying to buy me with promises of a child kendall, I would like you to leave please"

"Sheriden we could be a family" he said taking my hand. "we could be what we started out to be, remember the excitement we used to feel. Remember the fun we had... Remember how we used to Rock each others world... Sheri, I'm serious. I love you, you know I do, I've never stopped" he pleaded to me.

"kendall please, this is unfair. You need to get back to paisley" I begged.

"I think you like me being here, I think you want me to be here. Sheriden you could have me and Ophelia. You still want me, you still hold me in your heart.. I know you do" he said.

I just stared at him.  
"I love James... I'm marrying James tomorrow, you know - your best fucking friend... Jesus kendall!"

"if you loved James you would let him go... I have a child, you wouldn't be holding anything back from me Sheriden, there wouldn't be any stress in a relationship with me"

I started crying, "why are you saying all these things kendall... They hurt me you know, I know what I'm keeping James from, I don't need to be reminded of it by you of all people" I blubbed.

"I'm sorry, shit... I'm so sorry, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing." He said wrapping his arms around me to console my crying.

"I know what I've condemned James to. he knows what he is getting by marrying me" I sobbed.

"I'm sorry Sheri." He whispered as he held me to his chest. He stroked my hair back trying to sooth me.

"I think you should go" I said again looking up at him.

"do you want me to go though" he said leaning right in to my face, not kissing me but close enough to if he wanted to.

"I don't think you should stay" I whispered back looking in to his eyes that were inches from my own.

"do you feel that?" He asked

"do I feel what? " I replied, my lips almost brushing his as I spoke.

"do you feel the tension between us, the butterflies in your stomach, the thud of your heartbeat trying to escape from your chest. do you feel the irresistible urge to kiss me right now Sheriden"

I looked in his brilliant green eyes, and rubbed his stubbly face with my hand.  
"kendall we have so much history, I love you... Honestly I do. But I love James, and paisley is my best friend. I can't hurt everyone... Even if I did feel all those things" I whispered.

"do you feel them?" he said stroking my own face.

"those and more" I replied honestly.

"more?" He said with a grin, he was still so close to my face, he was right about the butterflies, my stomach was filled with them.

"yeah you make me feel... Like I want you to touch me... You know I do" I said.

"I make you horny?" He whispered, his lips purposely brushing against my own.

I just nodded.

"am I turning you on right now, can you feel it here".he said moving his hand up my thigh, his finger tips just touching the lacey fabric of my panties, he was making my insides throb, teasing me with his touch.

"yes" I said opening my legs so he could move his hand in further to touch me.  
He did, he caressed me slowly in between my legs, rubbing the outside of my underwear.

"how good does that feel Sheriden?"

"it feels really good honey" I said enjoying the sexual tension and the naughtyness of his seduction touching my privates.

"Sheriden... take these off" he whispered rubbing his thumb along the lace, caressing me as he went.

I looked deep in to those green eyes, my head no longer making sense, I was being ruled by my sexual desire.

"make me cum" I whispered.

Kendall gently pulled my lace underwear down and moved his hand slowly towards the inbetween of my legs. His fingers touching my clitoris, I was so close to climaxing already because of how naughty this was.

"can I take this off?" He tugged at my dressing gown with his other hand.

I nodded as I undid the belt, and slipped the gown from my shoulders. Straight away kendall released one of my breasts from the cup of my bra and licked and sucked my nipple that he had exposed.

I felt fit to burst with all the new sensations if how he touched me, I had forgotten how amazing he was, I was so turned on. One of his fingers slipped inside me, he still rubbed my clitoris with his thumb. His movement was urgent and fast.

I yanked at his trousers and undid his fly, his erection fell out of them with ease, letting me please him with my hand.

I soon climaxed in kendalls hand, my clitoris pulsating while he still gently rubbed it before the pleasure of his touch became to much for my body to handle.

"how did that feel?" He said gently kissing my lips.

"exactly how it used to" I replied, still tugging at his erection.

"I'm going to cum Sheriden" he said before letting out a groan of pleasure and feeling his warm ejaculation hit the side of my leg.

He kissed me again.  
"I know your going to marry him but just remember how good this was, remember how we used to be... Okay?" He whispered handing me a tissue from the table on front of the sofa we were sat on to clean my leg up.

"are you going to tell him?" I asked now feeling racked with guilt now my body had been satisfied and my head was thinking straight.

"course I'm not Sheri, just think about what I said about me and Ophelia, we could be great as a little family" he said.

"kendall I'm sorry..."

"don't say sorry, just think about it... I love you" he whispered then kissed me again and got up off of the seat.

"where are you going?" I asked.

"to look after my daughter" he replied. Then, gave me a kiss on the forehead and opened up the door.

"kendall wait!" I called quietly and stood up closing the door before he could disappear out of it.

"I've got to go Sheri" he said brushing a strand of my brown hair out of my face.

"kendall... " was all I could think of to say.

"don't worry about anything okay. I can see in your face you regret it. I don't want to cause you pain I want to make you happy... Just know that if or when the time comes that you ever change your mind, I'm always going to be waiting for you, both Ophelia and I will." He said then kissed me then reached for the door, he opened it up and gave me one last kiss. I took it, accepted it, and... Liked it then shut the door

I stood there for several minutes, taking in what I had just done.

"I love James, I'm going to marry James" I said out loud.

I got back in to bed and turned the light out.  
I felt as no sleep would be coming my way for the rest of my life.  
a few moments later another knock came to my door.

I looked through the Peep hole this time and saw Mackenzie on the other side. I opened up.

"I need your help" she said.


	14. Chapter 14

**Mackenzies story**

As I came out the arrivals terminal at McCarran international airport, I saw Logan waiting for me, he was slouched up against a pillar with his shades and a snapback cap on. He looked as cool as ice.

He beamed his amazing crooked smile at me, he was gorgeous.

I gave him a hug and a kiss.  
"hello handsome" I greeted him with.

"hello yourself... Your hair looks amazing Macks" he said looking at my new brunette head of hair.

"thanks logues, so what did savannah have to say for herself today?" I asked as he took my bag and threw an arm around my shoulders.

"I haven't spoken to them really this morning, the sky dive was fucking mental. Carlos' brother nearly ended up dead" Logan said.

"oh god yeah, I know. I saw it on the news, he is fine though isn't he?" I asked

"yeah he is okay. We are all meeting in the bar after dinner, savannah will be there so you can ask her anything you like then" Logan replied.

We drove back to the hotel, we were on the third floor, Logan had splashed out on one of the better rooms, it was beautiful.

logan unpacked my bag for me as I went out on to the balcony that overlooked the gardens.

"Kenzie please tell me you brought your inhaler with you" he said rifling through my bags.

"yeah I did they are all in that wash bag" I pointed out to the Pink plastic zip bag.

Logan grabbed it and opened it up, "wow... This is a lot of medication baby" he said looking at the assortment of things that help get me through my attacks.

"yeah I thought that too when I shoved it all in, I don't use all that though, they had fun at the airport checking it all" I smiled.

"do you think maybe its time we gave up LA? Went somewhere cooler?.. This is ridiculous Kenzie that I'm making you have to have all this just to be near me" he said slouching on to the bed.

"logues we can't leave LA, everything is there for us, besides I figured one day you will want to venture back to Texas, the weather is pretty much the same there as Cali, I just need to find the right meds then I will be fine babe"

"you've thought about coming to Texas with me? ... To live?" He asked pulling me in to him and kissing my stomach outside of my shirt as I stood in front of him.

"course I have, the band isn't going to last forever is it! I would go to Texas with you, I would go anywhere with you" I said ruffling my hands through his hair as he lifted my top up and kissed along my tummy.

"this news makes me very happy" he said looking up at me.

"we are for keeps aren't we?" I said.

"we are definitely for keeps Macks. Are you ready to go out and grab a bite to eat?"

"yeah, should I change? I'm going to have a few drinks tonight logues if you can smuggle some from the bar for me, I'm going to need it after I've spoken to savannah"

"your fine as you are, and that's fine, I'm staying sober, obviously" he laughed. Don't go to hard on her Macks, she has a rough time ahead of her" he said placing my shirt back down and holding my hand.

"well of course she has she has married a total idiot, she has more than a rough time ahead of her" I joked back.

"she has decided to go to the police about the rape, some things have come to light, but I will let her tell you all" he said looking very serious.

"really? What things?" I said.

"I really don't want to be the one to tell you kenz, savannah should, honestly..." He replied.

I nodded. Then gave him a kiss.  
"let's just enjoy what we can from this huh" I said leaning up and giving his Chin a kiss.

"I think I can enjoy a lot from this" he said stroking my privates from the out side of my clothes.

"you have a one track mind Logan Henderson" I said snapping his hand away with a slap.

"your going to get it good tonight Missy" he warned.

"that I will look forward to" I giggled giving him another kiss.

We went out for dinner in the restaurant in the hotel then made our way to the bar, Logan got a round of drinks in and placed them on our table he winked at me  
"those three are yours" he said slyly pointing to the vodka and oranges that he had just placed on the table "and that one is mine, I've just got to go and help kendall with this outfit we are going to squeeze James in to later, will you be okay on your own?... I will only be a little while" he said.

"yeah sure, can you take that idiot with you too, I want to talk to savannah alone" I said looking at Carlos.

"sure" Logan replied and gave my backside a rub as he walked away the spoke to Carlos and they both walked off collecting kendall on the way.

Savannah turned to look at me, I walked over to her.  
"hey Kenzie" she said looking at her feet.

"don't hey me! Mom has been trying to call you, I have been trying to call you. Do you have any idea how stupid you have made us all look" I spat at her.

"its no big deal Mackenzie, people get married all the time." She retorted to explain.

"please save me the bull shit sav, the idiotic games you two play are pathetic! You have made a complete ass of yourself savannah! What is wrong with you?" I said just as Sheriden interrupted us making some wise crack joke about the wedding.

I shouted at her then gave her a well deserved slap around the face, to which she played the damsel in distress and ran off with James hot on her heels after he gave me the look to say I would live to regret what I had just done.

"why the fuck did you do that? she had absolutely nothing to do with me marrying Carlos." She said starting to cry.

"I find that hard to believe, even your not that dumb savannah... At least I hope your not. Logan said something has come up about what happened? What is it?" I said sternly.

Savannah looked at me. "you don't care Mackenzie, all you care about is how I make you look! You think your all high and mighty pretending to ignore the fame and rise above it... Well newsflash sweetheart, your doing a shit job of it! I'm not going to change the way I live my life to please anyone, especially you. You have changed so much since you moved to California, all you care about is Logan and that salon. I'm not telling you anything about what's happening to me, because you can either want to know all or nothing... Unfortunately all means you talking to Carlos like he is a person and not something you have trod in Mackenzie" she finished her rant.

"I won't speak to the man who put my boyfriend in hospital with any kind of respect savannah, your just acting like a silly little slut" I screamed back.

She laughed "me a slut? Sorry but from what I hear its you and Logan that passed that std about" she said with a smile on her face.

"yeah and its you that was sucking boys off for cash!" I said and regretted it instantly.

"I hate you, leave me and Carlos alone" she replied then walked off teary eyed after Sheriden.

I walked back to my table and downed one of the drinks Logan had left me.

Why did I bother coming here? It was pointless. Maybe Logan was right, LA was starting to take its toll on us, or at least the people.

I went to sit down, no one came to speak to me, paisley was sat with her blonde haired friend, she gave me a sympathetic smile but I was alone.

I sat and watched as Sheriden came back in the room parading my sister around, she was being introduced to all of Carlos' family.

Sheriden really went out of her way to sell my sisters good points to them all. I didn't really understand the whole situation of how Sheriden had become part of the Pena family but she definitely was a major part of it. And now my sister was too.

Logan returned with the other guys, he sat with me after supplying me with more vodka.

"Savannah hates me, I slapped Sheriden, and now I'm getting pissed" I said as I perched myself on his lap and buried my head in his shoulder.

"kenz! You slapped her?... What the fuck?" He replied.

"I didn't mean to, it just happened, I hate her face, look at her" I said eyeing Sheriden up as she stood with James and Carlos' brother, she was draped all over both of them, surely no one needed to use as much physical contact as she did. "how does James allow that?" I asked.

Logan looked at her.  
"Macks don't get so caught up about Sheriden, just let it go" he said giving me a kiss.

"savannah wouldn't tell me what was happening about the rape, can you fill me in?" I asked.

Logan looked at me then looked over at savannah who was cozied up with Carlos in a booth. They were smiling away as they whispered things in each others ears.  
Logan then looked up at Sheriden, she caught his eye and flashed him a smile.

"what is it babe?" I asked as I saw the worried look on his face as he flashed a fake smile back towards Sheriden.

"Macks if I tell you can you promise to keep it to yourself, Sheriden doesn't know and I don't want to ruin her wedding day with finding shit like this out tonight. savannah doesnt even know the entire story" he explained.

"logues I promise. What is it, your scaring me a bit" I said.

"can we go somewhere private, its heaving in here to be talking about what happened to sav" he said tapping my leg so I would get up, which I did.

He walked me out by my hand in to the beautiful garden through some double doors on to a pretty decking filled with flowers and potted trees. We Sat on a wooden bench under a dimly lit gazebo.  
There was a couple of groups of people dotted about in the garden chatting but we were alone where we sat.

"Carlos found out who one of the guys was who raped your sister, they bumped in to a dude that looked a lot like him. Turns out that it was someone who we know... me, kendall, Carlos and Sheriden anyway" Logan said.

"okay well that's good, he will be easy to find then... What's the problem?" I said taking his hand.

"when Sheriden was dating kendall, we went out clubbing one night, and the guy, Marcus croft, well he made it clear that he wanted a piece of Sheriden. Kendall warned him off as Marcus was drunk and had started laying his hands on her. They exchanged a few words and he left her alone for a while. Kendall went off to the toilet and Marcus followed him in, they had a bit of a scuffle in there and then got thrown out of the bar, So we all left. The arguments carried on outside, I was tanked up on booze so I layed in to the Dick. He head butted me, kendall then had a go at him, once I had got over the head butt both kendall and I ploughed in to the fucker. We left him lying on the ground. He was okay, had taken a beating but ... You know nothing really bad - are you following all this Macks?" He asked.

"yeah I am, just waiting for you to get to the point logues" I said.

"I'm getting there... Well nothing happened after that for a couple of days. Then he showed up at sheridens agency told her he had reported the attack to the police and asked to speak to her in private or he will tell them who it was that did it. Sheriden refused to talk to him on her own, she called me and I came down. Basically he had a copy of the CCTV tape that showed both kendall and I attacking him then leaving him on the floor. In return of not showing the tape to the police croft wanted Sheriden to put him on her books and make him hit the big time... Wanting to protect both kendall and myself, Sheriden did it. He is one of her models, fairly successful now too, does mostly media, commercials, catalogue... That kind of thing. When savannah goes to the police about Marcus croft, I'm not sure what's going to happen with kendall and I about this tape... Obviously we are all connected, and he holds a grudge." Logan said taking my hand and giving it a kiss.

"shit... So if savannah goes to the police, this Marcus croft guy could get you and kendall in to a load of shit! ... Did he know who sav was, did he know that she was part of our group?" I asked.

"I don't think so Macks, I think its just coincidence, but he is going to know now that her and Carlos' face are splashed over every paper and glossy magazine" he said "you and your sister are beautiful girls kenz, you don't forget faces like that in a hurry. I think he will know exactly who she is now and be ready and waiting for a knock on the door... Sheriden doesn't know that it was Marcus croft yet, and 't know about the tape.."

"so if savannah goes to the police, and this Marcus guy shows the video of you and kendall, how much trouble are you going to be in?" I asked.

"a lot... Sheriden went to a lot of trouble to cover it all up for us, she fabricates stories all the time, like food poisoning, and odd little accidents in the gym that just get us out of trouble and explain fights and missed days at work, Sheriden is a very powerful girl, she will go to great lengths to protect who she cares about. she goes all out trying to keep our names squeaky fucking clean, she has probably dished out about ten grand just keeping things out of the paper about me, god knows what she has done with the other boys... After she saw that tape she gave croft his modelling contract and sweetened the deal with some money so he wouldnt show anyone, if kendall and I get seen on that tape by the police it won't be long before Sheriden gets dragged down with it" he said.

"so you would be facing grievous bodily harm?" I asked.

"grievous bodily harm with intent, I've seen the tape, it looks bad... Most likely talking jail time Macks, Sheriden could to for covering it up, even though croft went to her, it will look like blackmail to any jury" he said squeezing my hand and looking deep in to my eyes.

"so if my sister reports her rape, you and kendall will end up in court too because of a fight you had years ago? Surely he wouldn't still have it?" I said.

"are we willing to risk finding that out though. Savannah should report him, I'm just scared what is gonna happen kenz... " he whispered as a young couple walked by near us.

"so what do we do?" I asked.

" I'm not sure baby, Sheriden can't do anything she is going on honeymoon tomorrow night for three weeks, savannah is going to the police on Monday..." He explained.

Kendall came out in to the garden "Logan we are going in a minute, are you still coming?" He called.

"yeah I'm still going, can't Miss out on giving my boy a good send off can I." Logan joked as if the last few minutes hasn't happened.

Kendall walked back in, Logan stood up and took my hand " babe we will figure something out okay, don't worry about anything... I love you kenz, you sure you don't mind me going out with the boys?" He asked.

"no its fine, just... Don't let me down huh" I whispered giving him a hug.

"I won't ... I promise" he replied.

We walked back in to the bar, Sheriden had gone already, and the boys were in a big group ready to leave.

Paisley was moaning at kendall that she wasnt happy being left with her baby, she really wasnt right in the head still. He said he would only be going for one drink. It was Logan in the end that sweet talked paisley in to letting kendall go.  
She still had this silly crush on my boyfriend. I didn't talk to paisley much now, she was very difficult to get along with. Definitely not the same girl she used to be. I couldn't see her and kendall lasting the distance.

I went up to my room just before midnight, I spent some time showering and getting my outfit sorted for tomorrow.

I was getting myself in a panic over this police business. I tried phoning savannah, the first time she rejected my call, the second time her phone was switched off. I wasnt even sure what I was going to say, I can't exactly tell her to not report her rape.

I decided that I could and would tell Sheriden, she was the only person with any power over the situation and my sister that could help. Sheridens room was just across the hall from my one I shared with Logan. Just as I opened the door I saw kendall had just gone inside her door.

why was kendall making a late night visit to her? All seemed a bit odd to me, I waited on the inside of my room for ages with my face stuck to the peep hole, trying to see when he was leaving so i could get a chance to talk to her ladyship.

After twenty minutes or so the door to sheridens room opened slightly, then it shut again, then it opened and I saw them steal a kiss off of each other. I couldn't hear anything. But the kiss seemed more than friendly... What the hell was going on?.

I waited a few minutes before leaving my room to step across the hall way and knocked on sheridens door.

"I need your help" I said when she answered

"is Logan okay?" Was her first question.

"yeah... can I come in?" I asked.

"no Mackenzie!, you hit me around the face earlier, why on earth should I let you in my room?" She said looking flustered.

I looked at her, she was every bit the bitch, but she was still the only person that could help Logan.

"Logan and kendall are in big trouble... That's not including when James finds out about you and him either" I spat. "

She glared at me "when James finds out about me and who?" She hissed.

"look Sheriden, I really don't give a fuck what or who you screw behind closed doors, all I care about right now is helping Logan... Does the name Marcus croft mean anything to you" I said.

Sheridens eyes got wide, she looked shocked that I knew about this.  
"I guess you better come in then" she said.

"Marcus croft isn't an issue any more, he hasn't been a problem for a Long time" she said sitting down on the hotel seat.

"he raped my sister, and Carlos has persuaded her to tell the police finally...she is doing it on Monday" I said.

"shit!" She said then got up off the seat and paced the floor  
"holy fucking Christ... Well what do I do? There's nothing I can do... Fuck! he is going to drag the boys down with him!"

"I was hoping you could talk to savannah... Explain what it is that has happened. She won't report it if she knew Logan was in danger... She won't talk to me, you think I like coming here asking for your help... No chance" I said.

Sheriden laughed at me "you want me to tell savannah, that she can't report the person who raped her, and then explain that he works for me, and I pay him a shit load of money every month to keep his fucking mouth shut for Logan and kendall... Do you know I pay him 5 thousand dollars a month, that's been going on for so long, he has upped it over time, he is only a media model, he should get a few hundred dollars for each shoot he does. He has a couple of years worth of bank statements with me giving him monthly payments from my personal account that date back to that fight. If those boys get in trouble then I do too Mackenzie... Big fucking trouble" she said looking at me.

"we are just going to have to tell savannah... That's the only option Sheriden." I said watching as she got even more agitated.

"does Marcus know its savannah... Does he know she is part of us?" She said.

"I don't know... Logan seemed to think that he would know who she was because of their stupid wedding and getting in all the papers... He said she is too pretty to forget"

"he is right though. I wouldn't forget a face like that... Fuck... Okay right here is what we do. I can't sort anything out that I need to right now but I can make savannah so busy that she can't get to the police. We will stall this until I can sort something out" she said.

"well what are you going to do?" I asked.

"Jesus Mackenzie I don't know... My fucking head is all over the place right now. I'm meant to be getting married in ten hours" she shouted.

"yet you still have kendall visiting you. I take it paisley is unaware of this thing you have going on?" I said sarcastically.

"kendall was here delivering my pain killers actually, it was James that sent him over" she replied.

I nodded "James told him to pass on a good night kiss too?"

"you have no idea what your talking about Mackenzie" she spat.

"I don't want to know either, all I do know is that Logan trusts you with his life, I'm asking for your help..."

"yes and I'm thinking okay!... You think I want to get caught up in this? My life was fucking plain sailing an hour ago, now everything is fucked up" she screamed at me then began crying.

I stood there and watched her for a bit.  
"look, I'm sorry okay, I know its shit timing but this is a huge problem Sheriden... I can't lose Logan, Ophelia can't lose kendall and James can't lose you. We need to think of something to stop her"

"listen to yourself... Honestly you want your sisters rapist to roam free, being paid for doing fuck all and living a glitz and glamour life as a model, in the same company as what savannah works for?" She said wiping her face.

"course I don't, but I don't want Logan getting in to a load of shit because he was protecting your honour either"

I sat down on the large sofa and got straight back up noticing wet patches on the fabric.

"just dropping pills off huh?" I said moving to a different chair.

Sheriden blushed "that was the first time he had tried it on with me since we broke up... I didn't ... He kept saying about... Oh what's the point? Are you going to tell James?" She asked.

"no I'm not going to tell James, because I was once in a similar situation but I had you on my back wanting me to do the stupid modelling thing" I spat back at her.

"he doesn't love paisley, he said he still loves me, and he wants me to be apart of his and Ophelias life... I love that little girl so much, and ... Well kendall is lovely isn't he, I know things were really bad before but I forgot how really good they had been to... What do I do Mackenzie?" She whispered.

"you forget about fucking kendall, you get married and you stop all of this Marcus croft shit... That's what you do. That's what's right Sheriden... You adore James, he is giving up so much for you. Don't give up on him" I said as she started crying again.

"your right, I love him so much... God I don't know what I was thinking... Have you got yours or Logans lap top in your room?" She asked.

"yeah ... Did you wanna come across?" I asked.

"yeah, let's get savannah somewhere safe while I figure out what to do" she said as we Walked across the corridor in to her and Logans room.

She tapped away on the lap top "do you have any idea when they get back to LAX on Monday?" She asked.

"no I don't I presume its an early flight, but not hundred percent sure" I replied.

"okay, no problem... I'm just going to grab my bank details from my room" she said then left briefly,

I looked at the monitor screen on the lap top. It had details of flights.

Sheriden walked back in holding her purse.  
"what have you done then?" I asked.

"I'm sending Carlos and your sister to Peru, it can be a wedding gift from James and I. Carlos has always wanted to go there. He will talk her in to it if she doesn't want to. I'm also setting Marcus croft up for the run way. That will keep him sweet so he doesn't get any rash ideas"

"why are you giving him the runway? That's just giving in to him, your rewarding him Sheriden... We don't want that" I said.

"no its okay... I've actually got a plan that will make him disappear... Mackenzie I've done everything I can today to help everyone we care about. I'm going to need you to not say anything to Logan. The less everybody knows the better... Can I trust you?" She said.

"I will do anything to help Logan... Yes you can trust me". I replied.

"okay well I'm going to get a few hours sleep if I can. I hope those boys are being good" she said with a small smile"

I smiled back "Thankyou Sheriden... For this"

"I don't think a month goes by that I don't have to help someone I love... Goodnight Mackenzie" she said picking her purse up.

"good luck tomorrow... James is your soul mate" I replied and saw her out the door then went to bed.


	15. Chapter 15

**Sheridens story**

I woke up bleary eyed and with a churning stomach.

Before I do anything I have to speak to Antonio. I called his cell.

"hey shoo, your up early, I think I've only just gone to bed" he laughed.

"me too ant, any chance you can pop over I need to talk to you, can't do it over the phone" I replied sounding serious.

"yeah course... Ill be right up Sheriden... Your okay aren't you?" He asked.

"for now I am yeah... See you in a sec" I answered then hung up.

I had 6 hours until my wedding. I had so much to organise between now and then.

I chucked on a tee shirt and some jeans and threw my hair up in a bun i faxed over a new contrct for marcus croft to become a runway model. i would have more control over him that way.  
The door knocked soon after. I let Antonio in.

"what is the matter?" He asked as I shut the door.

"you know that Marcus croft thing I told you about... Well that's come up" I replied.

"the guy you give money to? Why what has he done now, has he showed the tape?" Antonio asked.

"no not yet... croft raped savannah a few weeks ago, Carlos figured out who he was this weekend and has persuaded sav to go to the police about him. If she does, me, kendall and Logan are likely to do a spell behind bars... I need to get rid of him Antonio and that tape... Remember what we joked about. I actually want to do that. I need your help" I said sitting down .

"he raped her... Jesus! Sheriden we were just joking when we said all that... You can't be serious?"

"I'm very serious Antonio, I'm likely to get a year imprisonment for perverting the course of justice, Christ knows what else for black mail, the boys will get a lot more... There is too much to lose ant... I'm scared"

"Sheriden... This is fucked up, we would end up doing life if we got caught..."

"there won't be any trace of us Antonio, all I need you to do is get me somethings, I can't do it myself, someone will recognise me" I said

"I can't believe we are having this conversation... You're insane Sheriden. Clearly you have lost the plot somewhere"

"Antonio I will do this to protect the people I love, you have always said that if I ever needed anything from you ever than all I had to do was ask... I'm asking now... Please. All you have to do is get me the stuff and I will do the rest myself. Croft works for me, I have full control over where he is and what he comes in to contact with... Please ant"

"what do I need to get?" He asked.

"cocaine obviously and levamisol,"

"what's levamisol?" He asked

"Its what I will cut the cocaine with, levamisol is for animal use, a pesticide that kills worms, it is known that if used when its cut with coke its fatal. All we have to do is make sure croft gets enough in him" I explained.

"shoo your talking about killing someone? Do you honestly think you could willingly do that?"

"Antonio he raped your brothers wife, is that not reason enough to do it, if it wasnt for kendall and Logan then maybe he would of raped me too" I bit back.

"jay wouldn't want you to do this Sheriden, no matter what the circumstances" he said bringing my dead boyfriends name in to the equation.

"fine I will do it myself then" I replied ignoring his reference to jay. "look I'm going to have to have a shower and I have some one coming to do my hair soon... see you at about ten to calm my nerves before you give me away?" I said flustered.

"I care about you Sheriden, your the only piece of jay I have left... Ill see you at ten okay... I got the rings... I'll give them to Phil later" he smiled.

"see you at ten honey" I sighed and gave Antonio a hug before he left the room.

I showered and waited for Courtney to arrive to do my hair. She had run through my style numerous times, she was intending to do a fish bone plait from the side. Obviously she was hung over and I was short tempered.

"Courtney I'm not being rude but are you capable of doing this?" I asked as she undid it for the fourth time.

"yeah I am but your hair is just so soft today, you shouldn't of washed it this morning" she replied tutting at me.

I slapped her hand away from my head "forget it Courtney... Shouldn't of washed my hair... Bollocks!" I replied

"don't get like that Sheriden" she howled.

"no this is ridiculous, I should be in my dress by now" I replied reaching for my phone.

I dialled Mackenzies number  
"hi can I borrow you for a minute" I asked as she answered.

"yeah sure okay, I'll be over in a second" she replied.

I smirked at Courtney. She was looking at me like I was the big bad bitch.

The door knocked  
"I need your help with my hair if that's okay?" I asked as she walked in.

"sure what's the problem?" Mackenzie asked, her own hair already curled to perfection in glorious warm brown locks.

"Courtney here is too incapable of doing it... My hair is too soft apparently" I spat looking at Courtney who cowered in the corner of the room.

"well what did you want?" Mackenzie asked looking at my hair and sizing it up.

"I wanted a fish bone plait, starting from the side of my head up here" I said pointing."obviously with some curls about the place.. Courtney had some diamond gems and flowers she was going to place in to the plait"

Mackenzie ran a hand through my hair. She took all this very seriously. I knew she loved her salon but it never occurred to me to be something that someone would choose to do.

"okay sit down then and let's see what we can do" Mackenzie replied.

She put her hands to work and after 30 minutes she had my hair up just as I wanted it. She had left some strands free at the sides to curl. The plait at the back was amazing. It looked very intricate with its thick full braid at the back like something out of a fairy tale.

"okay all we need now is the decorations and to curl these" she said fluffing some of the strands.

"its beautiful Mackenzie.. Thankyou" I gushed looking at it in the large mirror in my room.

"did you want me to thread the flowers in?" Mackenzie asked.

"you might as well finish it off... I will pay you for doing this" I replied.

"there's no need, it didn't take long, but if you feel you have to just put the money in to your charity for me" she smiled.

"that's kind Mackenzie... Thankyou"

Mackenzie just smiled at me as she went through the gems and flowers that a pissed off Courtney was pulling out of her bag.

Once my hair was finished, and my make up done, there was a knock on the door, I thought it would be Antonio but it was a stressed out looking paisley.

I didn't know what to say to her at first, unsure if kendall had told her of our sexual liaison from last night.  
Courtney had just left but Mackenzie had offered to help me in to my dress.

"you alright pais" Mackenzie asked. giving me a scared look.

"yeah I'm fine, kendall has fucked off somewhere leaving me with Ophelia. He didn't even say he was leaving the room" she said slumping down on the seat.

"paisley where is Ophelia?" I asked.

"in the room" she replied.

"in your hotel room... On the first floor?" I said.

"yeah... Have you got any champagne on the go up here, I so need a drink" was all paisley said.  
I looked at Mackenzie, she was having trouble understanding what paisley had just told her too.

"paisley you left Ophelia in your room...and kendall is not there?" Mackenzie repeated what she thought she had heard.

Paisley just rolled her eyes, she didn't understand what the issue was.

"fuck paisley... You stupid bitch" I said before darting out the room to the lift, which was moving up the levels too slow. So I ran down the stairs. Only dressed in a dressing gown.

I made it to the ground floor, luckily enough kendalls room was on the same side as my own so I didn't have to cross the reception area. The door was wide open, I could hear Ophelia crying.

I had run as fast as my legs could carry me. She was in her crib but had worked her self in to such a state her little face bright red and wet with tears. I picked her up.

"sssshhhh sweetheart" I cooed trying to sooth her.

I held her face up against my own, rocking her in my arms.

"Ophelia shhhh my darling... I'm here now, I won't leave you" I whispered to her.

Kendall walked in the room with eyes wide open.

"what's happened?" He demanded shutting the door.

I started crying "paisley just left her... She just fucking left her kendall!"

"what? Why... Its she okay? give her to me" he said.

I didn't hand her over I just held her closer to me.

"you promised me she was well enough to look after her kendall... She is upstairs asking for champagne, rolling her eyes at the thought of her daughter" I snapped.

"she was fine, I don't understand why she left. I told her I wouldn't be long" kendall said.

"paisley said she didn't know where you had gone"

"what? Pais asked me to get her some headache pills, I've literally gone out to get them, had a quick smoke and come back, she asked me to go out and get them Sheriden... She knew exactly where I was" kendall replied stroking his crying daughters head.

"you keep that insane bitch away from your daughter kendall" I cried.

He just looked at me, not sure what to say or do.  
the door knocked kendall answered it to Mackenzie and paisley.

Paisley didn't say anything she just walked in the room and sat down.  
"paisley why did you leave her" I said.

"Jesus Sheriden I was only going up stairs for Minute, what's the big deal" she replied clearly not with it, she was now flicking through a magazine.

"you left your door wide open, anyone could of taken her paisley" I said as kendall raised both his hands to his head as if learning this information hurt it.

"Sheriden... I know this is difficult but we are running out of time, Antonio is waiting for you up stairs. He says the photographers are ready for you" Mackenzie said trying to get things back to some normality.

I looked at paisley with disgust but she didn't look up from her magazine.

Kendall looked at me, his green eyes full of emotion. Trying to communicate with me best he could through just one look.  
I understood everything from it, I knew him so well.

I handed Ophelia to him giving her a kiss as I did, kendall gave me a hug and a kiss on the forehead.

"Thankyou" he whispered.

"please sort your girlfriend out! That girl is dangerous" I replied with attitude.

Kendall nodded.

"come on Sheriden" Mackenzie said in a soft voice opening the door for us both to leave.

"good luck today Sheri..." Kendall called "I mean it... He is a lucky guy" he added as I turned to look at him.

I just smiled and walked out of the room and towards the elevator with Mackenzie.

Once back in the room, I fixed my face from my recent tears and Mackenzie helped put my dress on.

I had co-designed the dress myself with the help of Vera Wang. it had a tight diamond encrusted bodice at the top which held my boobs in enough but gave me some cleavage to show off, the dress was traditional looking, a satin silk look. the skirt big! I had two petticoat hoops underneath me to help puff it out.

I looked in the mirror trying not to cry at the reflection that stared back at me with big blue eyes.

I was a princess. Antonio was looking very emotional. He was on his phone talking to someone but his eyes fixed on me, Mackenzie just smiled.

"Sheriden its time to go, mia is dressed and waiting down stairs for you" Antonio said hanging up his phone.

"Okay... So its pictures, sign forms with registrar then its out to the garden to get married... Oh my..." I said my hands shaking along with my voice

"I'm gonna get going, logues will want to get moving soon... Good luck Sheriden, you look stunning" Mackenzie said giving me a hug then walking out the door as I smiled at her.

I was afraid to speak just incase tears escaped me again.

"Sheriden... Come on. You have lived for this moment for so long. Don't be nervous, its just James... Enjoy every minute of this day Sheriden" Antonio said to me as he wrapped an arm around me giving me a reassuring hug.

I nodded "yup... Suck it up Lloyd" I said to myself taking a deep breath.

"let's go see mia then, I bet she looks adorable" Antonio said, grabbing everything he needed off the side. He looked amazing in his suit. Antonio was a lot taller than Carlos, his body was broader too. He looked every inch the man in his designer suit today. I was used to seeing him in just a vest and sweat bottoms.

We made our way down to the hotel function room where I was to have a few pictures taken for certain magazines that had paid the highest price. All the money was going straight in to my charity.

Mia was waiting, she was Carlos and Antonios cousin, she only reached just above my knee, she was dressed in a diamond encrusted red dress. She was so beautiful. I had intended to have three bridesmaids mia, paisley and one of my good friends saffron, saffron couldn't make the wedding, paisley declined in the early stages of pregnancy which I am glad of right now as I could not bear to look at her. I didn't feel anyone else was close enough in my life to ask such a personal favour so it was just Antonio, mia and me.

despite the amount of people attending the wedding it was a very private affair with how it was to be presented.

The large garden in the Belle point was already decked out with hundreds of white chairs each with a red bow attached. The stand where James and I will be married should be adorned with hundreds of fresh flowers constructed in to a floral arch way for us to say our vowels under. A red carpet flowing all the way from the isle centred around our guests to the stand that should have just two steps leading up to where the registrar will be waiting.

I had not seen any of it yet. I hope to God it had all come together as I had dreamed

Our closest friends and family to be seated at the front and others partitioned at the back.

My stomach was doing somersaults as I posed for pictures, I made a point of saying Mackenzie had done my hair, no way was I letting Courtney Ricoh take the credit for it.

Mia and Antonio stood alongside me with some of the pictures. There was a beautiful one of mia handing me a rose. I couldn't wait to see them.

I signed the paper work that I had to do for the registrar before the wedding, James had already done his. Least I didn't have to worry about him not showing up, seeing his signature in big bold proud writing on that paper settled my stomach a fraction.

the photographers moved their setup outside ready for the big event leaving just the three of us in a huge room. I had twenty minutes before I walked down the isle to become Mrs James Maslow.

"mia do you remember what you have to do" Antonio said picking her up.

"yes. Look pretty and smile" she replied in her adorable little voice.

I laughed at them.  
"that's right... Don't forget to throw your little bag of petals out okay" he said tapping her matching red bag that she was clutching on to with her tiny hands.

"I won't forget don't worry" she replied.

the flower lady had delivered my bouquet and the little purse of petals just a few moments before. I picked the bouquet up.  
My hands still shaking. I wished that I still drank alcohol as I could do with some right now.

"Sheriden you okay? Antonio asked

"yeah, nervous, excited... Feel a bit sick" I laughed.

"you will be fine. James is an awesome guy Sheri... You have done well to get him" he said.

Pangs of guilt hit my stomach as the memories of kendalls hands touching me last night came to my mind.  
"he is perfect for me Antonio... No one could love me more than James" I replied.

"so just concentrate on his face as you walk down the isle okay... Take a deep breath Sheri" he smiled

"funny how every detail of my life boils down to this one important day" I said taking in my deep breath.

"jay would be so proud of you Sheriden" Antonio whispered.

"you think?... Not a day goes by when I don't think of him you know" I answered.

"i don't think, i know. and me too... We had some fantastic times together. The three amigos huh" he laughed.

I sighed with a smile "everything happens for a reason though doesn't it ant... Jay dying, the skiing accident, kendall..." I whispered as my voice cracked holding back emotion.

"Sheriden don't you dare cry. Don't think about the bad stuff. But yes everything does happen for a reason. And your reason is standing, waiting for you just outside those doors... All of those things , jay in the crash, your back and yours and kendalls baby have all guided you towards James" he said with a sympathetic look on his face.

"thank you Antonio" I replied.

One of the coordinators came in the room.  
"ready when you are miss Lloyd" she smiled.

I looked at Antonio, he gave me a smile and put mia down ready to walk me down the isle.

"are you ready for this" he said.

I nodded.

The coordinator opened up the large ornate oak doors that led out to the garden.

On my first glimpse of the vision that lay ahead of me I was over whelmed. It was sheer beauty. The red carpet that lay ahead of me was framed by dozens and dozens of red and white roses. Potted baby blossom trees that I had imported in from England surrounded the place. I saw a sea of smiling familiar faces turn to look at me as I stepped out on to the carpet, mia walked ahead of us, scattering her white petals.  
I clung on to Antonio with all my might. I heard him reminding me to smile, I must of had a look of pure shock on my face.

As a walked further up, I saw savannah and Carlos they held hands and have each other a kiss, Logan blew a kiss to me. His smile was the widest I had ever seen it, he was sat next to kendall, Mackenzie hadn't shown.  
I looked at kendall, paisley was no where to be seen either. Kendall looked proud bizarrely enough. Ophelia was with him. He smiled at me and I gave him a wink in reply.

The Pena family made my heart leap in to my throat. They all looked so emotional. Both Carlos' parents had been crying with joy by the looks of things. I gave my 'adoptive' father a gentle squeeze of the hand as I walked past him.  
Then I saw him.

James... stood at the end, underneath the most beautiful arrangement of flowers I had ever seen. His hair swept back, out of his face. he always said he preferred it like that as he looked older than with his boyband floppy hair which I adored. His American smile absolutely beaming at me.  
My heart ached away looking at him in his designer suit, his cravat tied neatly round his neck that matched the beautiful red colour of mias dress.  
James looked very emotional himself. He ran his eyes over every inch of me, taking in every detail of my dress, my hair, my face. he looked in awe, like I was an Angel sent from heaven.

I handed my bouquet to mia, Antonio gave me a kiss on the cheek they both went to sit down with his family.

James and I made eye contact he mouthed the words 'wow' at me as he beamed and took my hand his eyes glistening, I prayed to God he wouldn't start crying. If he started then I would soon become a crying wreck next to him.

"are you ready to begin" the registrar said to us.

I looked at James, I couldn't leave his beautiful brown eyes. "yes" we both replied, a little giggle left my mouth. Nerves getting the better of me. James smiled at me, then looked briefly at his feet to compose himself then met my eyes again.

"ladies and gentlemen I would like to give you all a very warm welcome to this beautiful garden on this beautiful day to witness the marriage between Sheriden and James." He said then turned to james and i "We are assembled here in order that I solemnise your marriage in the presence of these witnesses in accordance with the law of the united states."

James smiled away at me, squeezing my hand.

the registrar went over the legal jargon I didn't take all of it in, I was caught in the moment of me and James.

The time came for us to say our vows, we had decided to do our own, I hoped my own lived up to James' expectation, but he went first.

"Sheriden from the moment I first saw you, I knew you were the one who I wanted to share my life with. Your beauty, heart and mind inspire me to be the best person I can be. I promise to love you for eternity" his voice cracked. He took a moment before continuing "respecting you... honouring you, being faithful to you, and sharing my life with you... This is my solemn vow." He finished

I knew he meant every word of what he had said.

"Sheriden would you like to say your own vows now please." The registrar asked.  
I looked at him then nodded and turned to James.

"James... I love you... When I tell you I love you this is what I mean, you are the one that I have waited for. You have brought me more peace and steadiness than I have ever known, and the days since I have met you have been the best days of my life. Your smile, your passion, your compassion, your beauty... Your laughter, your intelligence, your wisdom, your faith, your courage, your missed opportunities... " I took my own moment to gather my emotion "I promise you nothing less than the rest of my life, you are my closest friend,and i give you myself... This is what I mean when I tell you that I love you...this is my solemn vow to you."

A tear escaped my eye, which James wiped away gently giving me his beautiful smile.

"if there is anyone present who may show just and lawful cause why this coupe may not be legally wed, let him speak now our forever hold his peace" the registrar said aloud to the guests,  
I couldn't bear to even look at kendall. I just looked in to james' eyes.

James' brother Phil who had not been trusted with the rings but now had them from Antonio, passed them on to James.

We slipped the rings on each others fingers.

"by the authority vested in me by the state of Nevada i now pronounce you husband and wife" the registrar announced "you may now kiss the bride" he finished.

James smiled at me then leaned in to give me his gift of our first marital kiss, the guests behind us clapped, I heard Carlos cheering in the back ground which made me laugh out loud.  
James took my face in his hands.  
"I love you Sheriden Maslow" he beamed.

"I love you to baby" I replied. We signed the register and posed for our pictures,

The picture taking took the longest time, it was fun though, everyone was in such high spirits. All of James' family flanked me, all of the Pena family where giving James pats on the back. It was a magical moment.

it was hectic, I hardly had time to talk to James even though a were joined by the hand.  
As the day went by and it was time for speeches, I wondered who would have me in tears first.

Antonio had everyone laughing. He had decided to just go for the fun speech, where as Carlos had decided to do an impromptu heartfelt one.  
"erm... I wasn't going to embarrass Sheriden, or you James" he laughed "but being in both of your lives so closely all the time is sometimes a wonderful place and sometimes absolutely heart breaking. I know Sheriden through out her time as a voluntary Pena has had a lot of low moments in her life. But the moment she met James I think she knew they had a special connection that wasnt going to leave them alone.." He smiled looking at both of us. "I know you like to think that you look after the four of us boys in the band shoo, but it takes all four of us to try and look after you, you are a lovely caring person that has turned not just James' world around but everyone you get close to... I think it goes without saying that on behalf of my family, and big time rush it would not be as fun with out you... Look after her James she is one in a million" he finished with and recieved a round of applause from the guests that had hung on to his every word.

Carlos' dad went for a similar story, welcoming James to his family, Phil broke up the heart felt stuff with some hilarious stories about James, somethings even I knew nothing about. But it was James that made me cry. Even though it was classed as a speech in a room full of listening ears I knew he was only speaking to me.

"not many people know this... I think in fact its only two but when I was younger...well when I was 14, a certain female entered my life who I had a complete crush on. She would hang around my room giving me the eye and making me want to be something to please her... I have a picture of the girl actually" he said taking a folded piece of paper out of his pocket and handing it to me.

I unfolded it to see it was a poster of me that had been removed from a magazine. A very young picture of me when I first made it big in the states.  
"Where did you get this?" I laughed.

"I got it from my bedroom wall at home... My moms home, its honestly been there since I was 14" he smiled.  
" It wasn't until I was 18 that I actually met you, you naturally blanked me the first time, but when I was 19 I made you cry before boarding a flight to Florida. It was on that flight that I knew without a doubt that you were the girl I would one day marry... A lot has changed since that day I let you borrow my sunglasses to hide your tears Sheri... For starters I'm not afraid of Carlos anymore" he chuckled with some laughter from the crowd "but the one thing that has stayed the same is how in love I am with you. that connection between us that Carlos mentioned felt so electric on our first date on cocoa beach all those years ago... It still feels exactly the same now Sheriden. You are the light in my day, and as its well documented I can't survive with out you... This is the happiest day of my life. Not many guys get to marry their schoolboy crush, their idol, their best friend or their soul mate Sheriden, but you married me so I get all those things in you... I love you baby... You look breathtaking today" he said then sat down and gave me a kiss as I tried to save my mascara from running as I cried.

"you never once said that I was your Pervy pin up James" I laughed as I spoke in his ear.

James laughed "I did say I liked you a long time before Florida though..." He replied.

"James are you going to tell me where we are going on honey moon yet?" I asked.

"no not yet" he grinned.

Once the party had began and the formality of the day had worn off everyone gathered in their own little groups, we had the use of a huge function room that was beautifully decorated which opened up to the garden. There was a massive dance floor set up where James and I had stood just a few hours ago exchanging our vows.

The dance floor was packed with people enjoying themselves. It wasnt long before an announcement was made that it was time for James and I to enjoy our first dance as a married couple.

The music began to Beyonce's 'halo'. James took my hands in his and led me out on to the now clear dance floor. I loved this song, every word of it described my amazing James. He held me so close as we danced in each others arms.  
"Thankyou" James whispered in to my ear.

I smiled at him "what for?" I asked puzzled.

"for this incredible day. I'm amazed by you Sheriden. This... All this is ... Its blown me away Sheri" James whispered.

I looked in to his eyes, they glistened with emotion, he looked so proud.

"I love you maslow" I whispered with a giggle at his soppyness and leant my forehead on his.

James Let out a laugh. I think it was either that our he would cry.  
I placed my head on his shoulder as he led me slowly around the dance floor. I could see people taking pictures of us.

Once our first dance had finished, Bruno mars began playing through the speakers. James and I stayed on the dance floor enjoying the first time that we had been able to hold each other today. Others had now joined the dance floor.

James kissed me, I welcomed it so much. Nothing else mattered for those few seconds, every care disappeared from me until James pulled away. I opened my eyes to see that it was kendall that had disturbed us. He had tapped James on the shoulder.  
"could I swap my beautiful girl for yours for a minute, I would love to dance with your wife?" He asked with a smile.

James smiled back "how can I resist such an offer" James said scooping Ophelia out of kendalls arms.  
I gave her a quick kiss on the forehead before James took her away to show her off to his mom.

Kendall took my hands and wrapped them round his neck then placed his hands around my waist.

"Sheriden you look absolutely stunning" he said as we swayed to the music.

I smiled at him. "I'm sorry I shouted at you about paisley... How is she?" I asked.

"she is okay... She stopped taking her meds, she wanted to have a drink and enjoy her self today, course she didn't let anyone know... Mackenzie is with her so I could come and watch the girl of my dreams marry my best friend" he smiled.

"honey... Last night.. I'm sorry... You know how I feel about you kendall but it won't be happening again. Ophelia means the absolute world to me. I can't take her mommy away from her... Paisley has nothing left if she loses us kendall. If you are thinking about leaving her remember how she came here. She has no family. Nothing"

"I want to love her Sheriden, me and her used to be amazing... I just can't deal with all this illness crap" he whispered as he pulled me in closer.

"we all make sacrifices for people we love honey." I whispered back.

"you sound very serious... What's happened now" he asked looking concerned.

I rolled my eyes, "Marcus croft has come back to haunt us... But I don't want you to worry okay, I'm sorting it out. The less you know the better" I said trying to make light out of a very bad situation.

Kendall looked at me for a long time, naturally he knew the severity of the Marcus croft tape and what was likely to happen if it got shown.

"if you need to talk about it I'm here Sheriden... I do love you, nothing will change that" was all he said then pulled my head in to his chest as we slow danced until the next song came on which unfortunately was paisleys massive David Guetta hit.

Kendall laughed "I'm gonna have to sit this one out" he smiled.

We walked over to James who was still cradling the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. His mom looked fit to cry looking at her son so grown up and holding a baby knowing she will never have a grandchild from him.

"is it okay to steal her away from you. I should really be getting back to bonkers" kendall smiled.

"kendall don't call her that" I laughed.

"you really calling it a day bro" James said handing Ophelia to me instead of kendall as I held my arms out for a goodnight cuddle"

Kendall smiled at me  
"yeah Mackenzie has been with her all day, its not fair on Logan... You guys have an amazing holiday won't you" he said.

It dawned on me then that I wouldn't see Ophelia for three whole weeks. I had seen her more or less everyday since the day she was born. I kissed her on the head then began crying. James' mom who must of been watching the two of us with Ophelia then also started crying.

"mom what are you doing to yourself huh" James chuckled as he pulled both his mother and me in for a hug.

Kendall took Ophelia "I'm gonna shoot off before you get me going" he smiled at James and I, squeezed my hand and left.

the evening was hectic. James and I tried to talk to as many of our guests as we could.  
Mackenzie finally came to say congratulations. She handed me the print out that I would need to give savannah and Carlos for their holiday confirmation.

James wasn't aware of the Marcus croft incident, he had no clue of the fight, the tape or the fact that I placed a lot of money in to his bank account to keep him quiet each month, so I blagged my excuses of the Peru holiday as just an extravagant gift, which to be honest wasnt out of character for me.

Mackenzie tried to speak to savannah but she just ignored her. I felt that both their love for their boyfriends surely couldn't out weigh the sisterly bond they had but savannah was sticking her ground, despite her and Carlos being extremely immature they seemed to take the fact they had married each other very seriously.

Mackenzie and Logan stood to the side of James and I as we spoke to Carlos and his teenage bride.

"I'm so happy for you Sheriden" savannah gushed at me.

"well that is why I wanted to talk to you both. getting married shouldn't be taken lightly, and you have only known each other for such a short time... And... Well with everything you have been through. I would like to give you both this, you can spend some time together with out the la la land dramas" I said handing Carlos the confirmed booking of a holiday to Peru.

"Sheriden... Wow, this is really kind of you" Carlos said handing the paper to savannah who's eyes popped out of her head.

"I know how much you have always wanted to go.. Sorry its such short notice" I said giving Mackenzie a sideways glance, it looked like she was holding her breath.

"shoo... Its really something, but I'm afraid something big has come up and we are going to be pretty busy..."

I looked at Mackenzie again, fear had struck her face.  
I didn't know what else to say, I couldn't force them to go.

"Well that's just fucking fantastic Carlos, you ruin my sisters life by marrying her then can't even be bothered to take her on a honey moon, you guys are such a sham" Mackenzie spat, tears falling from her eyes.

savannah looked fit to hit her sister in the face.  
"fuck you Mackenzie, Carlos we will go on holiday, we can sort the other things out after... Your just jealous Mackenzie, you fucked things up with Carlos and your jealous!" She shouted.

"whatever" Mackenzie said then stormed off with a confused looking Logan,  
Mackenzie hated Carlos, it must of taken a lot of will power to say what she just did to force her sister to go on holiday with him.

"Thankyou guys" Carlos said as he gave James and I a hug.

"we are going to have to get going soon Sheriden... Time to get changed!" James said grinning ear to ear.

I raised my eyebrow to him, it was almost time to find out where I would be going on my honey moon.

I went up to my room to change in to my going away outfit, all my things had been packed away apart from the cute little summer dress I had picked out. I had thought so hard about what to wear, the only place I definitely knew James would not be taking me is some snowy place skiing, and I wanted to be dressed comfortable sitting on a plane for God knows how many hours, so comfy clothes is a must.

I made my way back down to the wedding reception. I saw James. He made me laugh. He was wearing just shorts and tee shirt now. It didn't really give me any clues.

"you look casual" I mocked him as he gave me a hug.

"you look Good enough to eat" he winked at me. We started the long process of saying goodbye to a multitude of guests. I was glad that kendall had left earlier.

Saying a final goodbye to him and Ophelia now would of upset me.

As I hugged Antonio goodbye he held me tightly and whispered in my ear "don't do anything dumb until you have talked it through with me okay... Love you shoo"

I looked him in the eye as I came out of our hug. I just nodded.

James and I left in a white limousine, he had packed everything for me, "are you going to tell me yet?" I grinned.

"you really want to know?" He grinned giving me a kiss.

"err yes I have really wanted to know for months" I said sarcastically.

"okay" he grinned. "We are just about to fly to Fiji" he smirked

My face fell "but James that's ... What ... A 15 hour flight?" I whispered now dreading what was to come.

James laughed at me

"oh my God are you winding me up?... You bastard James... Where are we going really" I said giving him a pretend slap on the leg.

he chuckled his infectious laugh at me "well I did initially want to take you to Fiji, but I knew your face would end up looking like that" he smirked "so we are doing something plane and James style and going to Hawaii" he said.

"Hawaii?" I questioned.

"Hawaii!" he agreed "are you disappointed?"

"no course not, I just thought it would be a little more... Different" I struggled for a polite word.

James laughed again "well Hawaii is a bit ordinary i guess and I think your extravagant ways must of rubbed off on me because I didn't want you any where near a plane so we are currently driving back to Cali, going to San Diego where we will get on my new pride and joy and set sail to not just Hawaii but lana'i, we are going to have our own private house on the island, private beach and no one else in miles of us. No phones, no internet, no TV, just me, you and a boat to go exploring in... No flights, take offs, landings... Or tears" he said giving me another kiss.

"oh James Its perfect Absolutely perfect..." I beamed "you bought a boat!?" i laughed as i realised what he had just said.

He laughed too. "yeah your going to love it, I've been sneaking off to San Diego for months having little goes in it. The lengths I've gone to to hide it from you are ridiculous" he laughed.

"how ridiculous? " i smirked at him.

"i put you to shame Sheri, i actually hired a guy that looks like me and paid him to hang out with Logan and kendall while i drove to san Diego to get used to the boat... Some of the pictures in the press haven't even been me" he laughed.

"oh my God... Is that the one where i asked where you got those sunglasses from?... It wasnt even you?" I said amused that even I didn't realise it wasnt James that had been photographed in the paper.

James laughed "wasnt even me! I just didn't want to get noticed on this boat to ruin the surprise" he chuckled.

"its amazing James... Your amazing! This is going to be the best time of our lives" I said giving him a kiss.

"I love you Mrs Maslow" he said kissing me softly.

My heart ached away at my beautiful amazing James.


	16. Chapter 16

**Paisleys story**  
2 weeks had passed since James and sheridens was quiet without them, I had been in and out of hospitals and doctors clinics, I was given a load of medication to control my bizarre mood swings and behaviour.

Kendall had tried so hard to help me but I tended to push him away. I remember how I used to feel about him and how I used to think that having a baby would be the answer to all my problems... I just didn't feel like that any more, maybe it was the pills making my emotions dull.

I had spent hours confiding in Logan about my feelings for everything. I was scared to tell kendall... Logan said he would sit with me while I tried talking to him. Mackenzie had agreed to look after Ophelia, she had already picked her up

When the time came that I heard Logan knock at the door I felt sick. I had told kendall that he was coming round but he had no clue as to why.

"hey man, what's up that you had to come round?" Kendall asked sitting back down on the sofa.

Logan looked at me, I guess this was my queue to start speaking but nothing came out.

Logan gave me a small smile to say its gonna be okay but still I didn't know where to start.

"kendall... Pais asked me to come round because she has a few concerns that she has been worrying about. She has been going out of her mind trying to explain what's going on in her head... I said I would come round and help... she is my best friend dude... Both you guys are, I'm just here to help her okay" Logan explained then sat down next to kendall.

Kendall looked at me "what is it paisley?" He said, his voice sounding uneasy.

"kendall I care about you still but I can't go on living like this... I'm not well baby, we both know its not how it used to be" I blurted out.

"pais I'm waiting for you to get better, honestly I am, to be truthful I've thought about where we are heading and it scares me that I don't know anymore you didn't bed to talk to Logan about it" he said.

"kendall... I'm moving out. I can't live like this anymore. I just need to evaluate and take stock of my life. I'm not saying this is it over. I'm just saying I need to find who I am again because I really don't know" the words fell out of me wrong. It sounded so heart breaking but at the end of the day they were all I needed to say.

"what?" Was all kendall said in response.

"I'm moving out baby... I'm sorry" I said more tactful.  
I looked at Logan. He took in a deep breath as he assessed kendalls face.

"are you two..." Kendall started.

"no... Definitely not. I love Mackenzie man. I'm just here for support.

"where are you going to go... You can't just take Ophelia and disappear pais... Its not just about us any more, that's why I've been hanging on in there, trying to stick it out" he said.

I started crying.

"you can't take her away from me pais... Please" kendall begged his own emotion now spilling from his eyes.

"Kendall..." Logan began "paisley isn't taking Ophelia any where, she wants to just take some time out on her own... She loves her and she loves you but she isn't strong enough to look after her" Logan said softly.

"you don't want us?... Not even your baby?" Kendall said astounded "where are you going to go?"

"she is going to stay in a hotel for a bit... Its nothing permanent see, she isn't going far, she will just be around the corner" Logan spoke for me again.

Kendall rubbed his hands over his face.  
"Logan is it okay if I have a chat with paisley alone?"

Logan looked at me and I nodded. he walked out to the kitchen and shut the door.

Kendall came and sat next to me  
"come here pais" he said and gave me a hug.

"kendall I'm sorry... This isn't how I wanted it" I cried on to his shoulder.

"its okay, its okay... Paisley I do love you, but I do know how you feel. Its not been great for a while... I want us to be close again, I want us to argue at dumb things then make up... I want you to love your daughter pais"

"I do love her... I just don't feel she is mine... Why do I feel like that?" I asked

"I don't know pais... You will visit us won't you, your not going to just disappear"

"course I'm not, Jesus kendall I'm going to see you everyday, I just feel so down, Logan made me realise that I need to look forward to seeing her and you, that's why I thought it best to move out... I want to be a good mom to her. I really honestly do"

"paisley you are a good mom, you are doing the best you can while your this sick... Its not going to last forever baby... Paisley I love you, and I love our baby, don't ever feel like you can't talk to me. We are family pais, "

"your the only family I have kendall... I can't believe your taking this so well. I felt for sure you were going to shout at me"

"its not exactly a massive shock pais. We don't talk, we don't kiss, we don't do anything that we used to do... I miss us. I miss my paisley I fell in love with" he smiled.

"I miss her too. we are still together even though I won't live here, I don't want to break up... Did you want to break up?" I asked holding his hand.

"no. I want you better. Me and Ophelia need you" he replied

"that's good... I'm going to go tonite, and I will come round tomorrow... Maybe we could go out some where. How does that sound?" I asked

"it sounds good paisley... I'm going to miss you"

"I'm going to miss you too"

"promise you will take proper care of yourself... Take you're meds" he asked.

"I promise, I want to get better not worse" I smiled.

I said some emotional goodbyes to kendall, he helped me pack a small bag with the things I would need then Logan dropped me off to my hotel.

I sat in the silent room, no noise from TV or video games... Or babies crying. Just peace and quiet. It was nice.

I crawled in to bed and snuggled down. It was only just gone 4pm but I permanently felt tired.

I must of fallen to sleep pretty quick. I woke up at just gone 11 at night. It felt weird to not have kendall next to my side.  
It was nice to actually miss him though.  
I got my phone to call him... It rang  
"how are you baby?" His kind voice answered.

"I'm missing you... Just needed to hear your voice. I've just woken up" I said quietly down the phone.

"Ophelia is fast asleep. I was just jamming on my guitar... Thinking of you, singing sad songs" he said with a nervous chuckle on the end.

"did you give her a kiss for me?"I asked

"course I did... And a massive cuddle" he replied

"thank you. what were you singing? Anything good?" I questioned

Kendall laughed " you're going to think I'm a right queer pais" he chuckled

I smiled "what was it... YMCA" I joked.

"no... California king bed" he said quietly.

"Rihanna?... that's a lovely song... your good at finding songs that describe how you feel" I said "nothing queer about it."

"I miss you baby" kendall said down the phone.

"I miss you too. Will see you tomorrow though huh" I said in an up beat way.

"wish I could see you now. Bet you could sing this song better than I am" he nervously chuckled again.

"your voice is beautiful kendall"

"everything about you is beautiful paisley" he replied.

I smiled. It was a nice feeling to smile and actually mean it.  
"I'm going to go now" I said

"oh okay... Did I say something wrong?" He asked.

"no course not. I will text you in a minute. I'm going now though... I love you"

"love you too pais... Take care" he said

"you too... Bye"

"bye baby" he replied.

I jumped out of bed and chucked some eyeliner on. Then got my laptop out and set my phone up to record me sing.

I ran through it a couple of times and had the words up on the laptop screen just in case.

I pressed record on my phone and sat down on the end of my bed with my laptop next to me

"hey everybody... Its been a while since I've done one of these. I hope I do it justice ..." I said in to the camera then sung California king bed with all my heart and soul. I'm surprised that I didn't get any complaints from neighbouring hotel guests as I was loud. I finished the song and said "I love you guys" to the camera and blew a kiss

I played it back to myself before I put it online but I was happy, my voice was strong and good... It was a good cover. I then put it on YouTube and tweeted it on twitter.

I text kendall. 'i hope u like this. I love you so much... We will get thru this! X x x' and added the link to my youtube post

A couple of minutes later my phone beeped I read the text from kendall 'its brilliant! I love u 2 baby. Your incredible! I'm crying like a complete dick now lol x x x"

I read the text over and over. I wasnt sure what to reply  
I decided to try and be up beat rather than pick up on the sadness  
'just as well u wernt singing the YMCA thn wasnt it. thn I wud think ur a bit queer crying over tht lol xxx Im going 2 go bck 2 sleep now cant wai guys tomoz. I miss u both xxx love u' I wrote then pressed send.

I got back in to bed and felt confident that this was the right thing to of done, for the first time in weeks I felt in control of my self again.

Fingers crossed that once James, Sheriden, Carlos and savannah come back from their holidays things will be a lot more normal in our btr family. I missed how things used to be.

I just want my life back!


	17. Chapter 17

**Sheridens story**

James and I had been married for 4 weeks, we had only been home from our honey moon for a few days. We had an amazing time. The tricky part was keeping savannah busy once we got home so she couldn't go to the police to report her rape to give me time to sort my head out about how to go about sorting Marcus croft out.  
I would of just told her the reasons why but she was such a wild card I didn't trust her to keep her mouth shut.

The minute she stepped off the plane I flew her over to New York for some ad campaigns and photo shoots.

Carlos was in the studio with the rest of the boys working on a new song for big time rush, so savannah took my body guard Bobby with her. She was at ease in his company, I had written it in her contract that she would have someone with her at all times whilst on location, plus Bobby was as big wide as he was tall, he made her look important enough to have a body guard which savannah loved.

Since getting back from honey moon I had learnt some facts that I didn't really know what to make of.  
Paisley had moved out of kendalls house leaving him alone to look after Ophelia.  
Naturally this was near on impossible for him to do alone without it causing him problems in his own career, even though paisleys own music commitments had been placed on hold while she gets her act together, this was apparently advised from her doctor.

Kendall was going to hire the help of a nanny or invite his mother to stay with him to help out.

I talked him out of both of these ideas,for 3 reasons, those being, one. I couldn't stand his mother and didn't want her in a 2 mile radius of me, two. I don't think paisley would benefit from having the mother in law from hell hanging about while her and kendall try and patch their lives up and three. I didn't want a nanny to look after Ophelia when I was in a position to do the job myself and enjoy every single second of it.

I had tried to ignore what had happened between kendall and I the night before my wedding and carry on as normal with him but he would say certain things about paisley and myself that hinted that although things were looking up, he was kind of happy she had gone.

I was just on my way to pick Ophelia up from kendalls, as I knocked on the door he answered in only a towel.

"what the fuck is this?" I joked giving a playful tug of the pink towel.

kendall raised a sexy eyebrow to me " I can take it off if you want Sheriden" he said in a cocky way.

"just go and get dressed... You will be holding every one up at the studio" I replied.

Kendall did go and get dressed, I packed some of Ophelias things in to her baby bag.  
She must of been asleep upstairs as she wasn't any where to be seen down here.

I sat waiting for a few minutes for kendall to get dressed, my cell phone rang. It was Antonio

"hey honey how are you" I answered with.

"shoo I'm fine, listen I'm losing sleep worrying about you and this croft thing. When are you doing it?" Antonio asked.

" ant... Now is not a great time to discuss this" I replied.

"just tell me what's ..." The line went dead

"Antonio?" I said looking puzzled then realised I had no service on my phone.

"great!" I Said aloud.

I went to the bottom of the stairs and called kendall  
"is it okay if I use the home phone kendall? Bloody service in here is awful"

Kendall emerged at the top of the stairs with jeans on, no top and a baby covered in milk all down a beautiful pink baby grow.

" yeah go for it, I'm gonna be a few minutes she just yakked up all over me" he said smiling.

"oh... Is she sick?" I asked eyeing up the two of them.

"no just spit up, she just did a massive burp and it all kind of fell out" he laughed.

"okay, I won't be long on the phone, just something has come up that's all" I replied.

He nodded and walked off to his room, he was doing an amazing job looking after her. I was proud of him.

I dialled Antonios cell number.

"hello?" He answered

"hey its me, sorry my reception went... Look I've got to go to Hollywood in three days. croft is going to be staying the night in Fairview hotel, there is a huge modelling event going on there and I will do what I have to do to end this. It will be okay ant... I promise, he deserves it. I won't let anyone hurt my family... I can do it on my own." I said.

"Sheriden this is insane, I am begging you to not do this, you think Logan and kendall would want you to do it? or James? Its not a great feeling knowing you are responsible for losing a life... Trust me, I know!" Antonio said.

"ant will you shut the fuck up saying shit like this over the phone, don't bring jays car crash in to this, that was not your fault, the other guy had been drinking... I'm not talking about this okay, you said you wouldn't help and that's fair enough, I've found a way of doing it on my own." I hissed at him.

"this is fucked up Sheriden, your going to ruin your life" Antonio argued.

"he has already ruined savs, and besides ruining my life is better than ruining Logans, Mackenzies, kendalls, paisleys and Ophelias isn't it Antonio! look I've got to go, I'm not alone... I will call you honey okay"

"don't do it shoo" Antonio replied.

"bye ant" was all I said back to him and hung the phone back on the hook.

I sat on the sofa for a few minutes until kendall appeared now fully dressed and with a clean baby in his arm.

He looked at me oddly

"all cleaned up now?" I said taking Ophelia and putting her in her car seat ready to go.

"Sheriden... What have you got your self mixed up in now?" Kendall said with a serious face.

"I don't know what your talking about" I replied with a fake laugh.

"I'm going to be honest and tell you I listened in on that conversation on the phone upstairs in my room... Do you know what I'm talking about now?" He asked

I stared at him wracking my brains for some kind of mindless excuse... Nothing came to me.  
"why the fuck were you eaves dropping on me?" I argued trying to change the subject.

"I don't think that even matters now Sheriden. What is going on with you, Antonio and croft... I presume you mean Marcus croft?" Kendall said

"I can't tell you... I'm sorry" I said starting to get teary eyed.

"then I will just ask James then shall I?" He said.

"No!... No please he has nothing to do with this, he mustn't know anything about it... Nor should you kendall" I said looking at my hands as they shook.

Kendall sat down next to me, he took my hands in his then kissed me.

I pulled away " what are you doing?" I almost shouted but quietened my voice for Ophelia.

"how many times do I have to tell to tell you that I love you Sheriden... You can trust me... Tell me what's going on"

I sighed but did tell him, I told him about what happened to savannah, and how Logan told Mackenzie, and warned kendall of the trouble both him and Logan would get in for GBH if Marcus croft went to the police about that tape.

Kendall just sat there, he looked at Ophelia who was just nodding off in the car seat on the floor.

He exhaled a long breath "this is insane... Did I hear you and Antonio correctly about what you said you were trying to do?" He said.

I nodded "I was going to do it gradually but I'm running out of time.. And ideas to keep sav out of state. I'm going to lace coke with poison, it will just look like he bought a dodgy batch, it won't get traced back to me at all. There its so much of it flying about it will just go down as misuse and bad cocaine..." I explained. I think because I had spent so much time thinking about getting rid of Marcus croft it didn't sound so bad in my head now, kendall on the other hand had a look of pure horror on his face.

"I can't believe that all this is happening" was all he said

I held my head in my hands " he deserves it..." I mumbled.

"Sheri you can't do this" kendall Said placing an arm around my shoulder.

"I have to... Who else is dumb enough to do it" I laughed.

"Sheriden if you got caught doing this then I couldn't cope... I don't know what I would do without you in my life... I love you Sheriden, we both do" kendall said looking at his daughter.

I buried my face in his shoulder as he held me. "I love you both too, that's why I have to do this... I love all you guys" I said lifting my head up to make eye contact.

Kendalls eyes looked more hypnotic than usual, I could see him leaning in again to kiss me, but I did nothing about it this time, I just let him. He kissed me slowly, cautiously, a thousand memories came flooding back to me.

"I'm sorry" he whispered.

"don't be... I wanted that one" I said giving him one more short kiss on the lips.

"Sheriden let me help you, with this croft thing... I would do anything for you... Even that if its to save our little family" he said again looking at Ophelia.

I shook my head, "I don't want you involved at all" I whispered " come on... They will be wondering where you are, text Carlos and say Ophelia had to bathed at the last minute otherwise they will think something is going on" I said standing up.

"Sheriden... Is something going on?" Kendall asked.

I stood and looked at him. I loved James, I truly did, but this little lifestyle  
Kendall and I shared at the moment with me looking after Ophelia felt so natural.  
"I think it might be... What do you think?" I replied.

Kendall stood up and kissed me, this time it was full of passion. I ran my fingers through his hair and tugged on the ends just like I used to. His body was a lot bulkier now than when we had dated before, he still had his cute tiny little waist though. I always liked his waist, he wore his trousers so low all the time I would just undress him with my eyes. The dips in his frame around his pelvis always turned me on.

"I love you Sheriden... I gotta get going" he said leaning his forehead on mine looking sad.

"love you too honey ... Are you still with paisley?" I replied.

"yeah... Not having sex though, but still classed as a couple I guess" he said.

"will you be taking her to James' party next week with you?" I asked.

"I think so yeah, she wanted to go she said... I don't want to talk about paisley and James with you Sheri... I like it just being our little bubble... You, me and Ophelia" he sighed.

"I like it too" I smiled.

We then got all or stuff together and left in our separate cars.


	18. Chapter 18

**Mackenzies story**

Once again Logan and I were getting ready to go to one of sheridens had only been back from her honeymoon for a couple of weeks but insisted throwing James a belated birthday bash seeing as he missed out this year because they had the wedding on his actual birthday.

I had come to respect Sheriden a lot we would never be what I would call friends but after she helped to get rid of Marcus croft, she saved so many lives from being destroyed even though she swears blind to me that she had nothing to do with his death. She said she was seriously going to but someone beat her to it.

From what the papers say Marcus Croft was found dead in his room at the Fairview hotel, he had been strangled. I did doubt that Sheriden would of been able to do that, maybe she hired someone to do it? I don't know,

Obviously the murder was being investigated but Sheriden was prancing around happy as a lamb not worrying about anything so I kind of did think she was guilt free or just very sadistic.

All that mattered was my Logan was safe now, nothing bad was going to take him away from me. And the person who raped my sister had the ending he deserved.

"are you ready Kenzie? Logan said putting his head around the door of the bedroom.

"er no" I laughed. "I need to shower still, sorry I was on the phone to paisley. She said she isn't getting there till 8 any way"

"shower huh? I might just have to have a little perv at you in the shower Missy" he grinned.

"well instead of perving why dont you join me" I said as I whipped my top off and strutted past him to the ensuite shower in his room. Leaving a trail of clothes behind me.

Logan followed suit and began undressing, I turned the water on in the shower to heat it up. Then turned to my now very naked boyfriend and kissed him.

"that was quick getting undressed" I teased.

" more time to enjoy you in the shower then haven't I baby" he replied as he pulled me in under the water.

As the shower sprayed over our bodies we kissed, I ran my hands down Logans perfectly smooth chest, he was so defined and gorgeous he made my heart melt.

My favourite part of Logan was his legs, they were incredible, big muscly strong manly legs. All of him was incredible.  
I loved him so much.

Logan kissed me under the water, touching me intimately as he went, turning me on.  
As always he was already very turned on, I only had to look at him in a certain way and he would get an erection.

I gave his stiffness a good stroke with my hand, as he ran his fingers down my spine and grabbed one of my ass cheeks, forcing one of my legs to lift up. he held my leg up against his side and pushed his body up against mine forcing me against the shower wall.

I placed him inside of me, and he gently made love to me as he kissed along my neck.  
I ran my fingers along his back. slowly caressing the dip in his spine.  
I pulled him in closer as he fucked me.

Logan had learnt his lesson of having 'safe sex' in the shower, by safe sex I mean slow! the amount of times we, he or me had fallen, slipped or tripped whilst going at it to hard under the water were ridiculous. He almost broke his neck the last time, so we had the slow seductive rule for shower cubicles now.

As we got down to business and Logan found it difficult to control his slowness he lifted me up, the feel of him deeper inside me took me to the edge of desire and I couldn't hold my orgasm in, I screamed his name as I came and ran my hand down the misted up glass door.

As Logan came we kissed.

He got straight out the shower "hey Mr! That's not very romantic" I moaned

"hang on!" He called as he ran out to the bedroom and grabbed his phone.

"that's beautiful" he said with a cocky grin on his face walking back in to the bathroom

"what is?... Logan you are not taking a picture of me in the flaming shower" I protested.

"no not you... That" he said taking a picture of my perfect hand slide print on the shower door.

I rolled my eyes at him then showered properly and got dryed and dressed for the party. It wasnt until later on in the car that I looked at my phone to see my hand print photo on instagram and twitter with the caption "getting ready to party ;-)" underneath it.

"I can't believe you put that on there logues" I playfully moaned.

"its an amazing picture" Logan smiled as he drove us to bel air for the fairly intimate (for Sheriden) dinner party.

The dinner went well, it was all of the btr entourage there, including the band and some of James' family and us girlfriends.

Savannah still wasnt talking to me. She seemed to have retreated in to her self, she was no where near as loud mouthed and abusive as she used to be, I wasnt sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

After dinner most of us started chatting in the kitchen.

Savannah was talking to paisley. paisley seemed happy but still didn't look like she was bonding very well with Ophelia.

I could see that may be difficult as Sheriden seemed to permanently have her.  
Sheriden currently stood with kendall and Carlos holding Ophelia in her arms. Kendall bizarly enough seemed to encourage Sheriden to hold her all the time instead of inviting paisley to.

"what did you guys get up to on this boat then?" Logan asked James who had just perched himself on the kitchen side.

"it was amazing wasn't it Sheri" James said.

"oh my god... It was really amazing. James just sailed us out in to the middle of no where, we spent some days just on the boat... Relaxing, swimming... And things, and others on the island" she laughed nervously.

"you could of just borrowed my boat James... Its bigger than yours is isn't it?" Carlos piped up.

James burst out laughing "what are you five? My boats bigger than your boat" he mocked.

"just saying" Carlos shrugged with a smile.

" I wanted a boat for ages. I love all that kind of thing." James said in the end.

The door chime went and James hopped off the kitchen counter to answer it.

"I didn't know you had a boat" savannah said to Carlos.

"yeah you did sav, its the same one I went on" I said forgetting she wasnt speaking to me.

Both her and Carlos glared at me  
"I can take you out on it if you like sav. we could stay with my family for a bit too.. In Florida" Carlos said ignoring me completely.

"I would love that baby" savannah said then kissed her husband making my stomach turn.

James entered the kitchen again with a shocked expression on his face. He wasn't alone, behind him followed three policemen, two of them were uniformed, one was not.

Sheriden looked scared "what's happened?" She said looking around the room making sure that all who she cared about most in life was present and correct.

"Sheriden Maslow?" The un uniformed cop asked.

"yes!" Sheriden replied looking completely confused clutching Ophelia in her arms.

"Sheriden Maslow, I am arresting you in connection with the murder of Marcus Croft. Any thing you say will be used in evidence against you. do you understand?" The cop said as the other two policemen surrounded Sheriden, one holding out handcuffs.

Sheriden looked at kendall her mouth wide open in shock.

"I didn't do it" Sheriden said shaking her head.

She looked at James " James I swear to you, I had nothing to do with it"

I then noticed the look on my sisters face. She looked more shocked then Sheriden did. As far as she was aware it was only her, Carlos and Logan that knew it was croft that had raped her.

Sheriden walked up to Logan and handed him Ophelia, I thought it strange for a second seeing as kendall was stood right next to her. As she handed the baby over she gave Logan,a hug and I heard her whisper " I didn't do this, find that tape" she gave Ophelia a kiss .

The uniformed officers then handcuffed her and marched her out of the kitchen.

"I didn't do it... get my lawyer James" she sobbed as she walked past him.

James just stood there in total shock. I don't think he could believe what had happened.

Kendall took the baby from Logan, kendall stared at him for sometime, I don't know what he thought was going on.

James still just stood there, it was Carlos that got his phone out and started ringing people.

How had this happened. from the sheer look of shock on sheridens face, I believed she had nothing to do with Marcus crofts death.  
But who did?


End file.
